Are you too scared to post what you really think?

No never!

I just posted what I really think on another thread. Just as an experiment really. Normally I would just scroll on past and keep my views to myself.

I think so many responses on this thread says it all. Quite often I hold back from saying what I really think. I tell myself it is cultural differences and a different way of living . Sometimes I just think to myself I can’t be bothered arguing , what’s the point?

ginny

Yes, quite often.
Probably right to think that way too. A few days ago a post of mine was reported and deleted. Nothing controversial, contentious or nasty and some other posters seemed to agree with me.

Me too @ginny

I think the thought police are strong with this and mumsnet platforms!

You mention your blood pressure Doodledog - mine goes sky high each time I press “post message”.

Here goes….

My opinion is as valid as someone of the opposite.

"sheeple". A noun, in the OED, meaning "people who copy what other people do or believe what they are told and do not think for themselves".
Just a shorter way of saying all that really!

Yes, I can work out that that's what it means in a literal sense, but not what it means when someone copies it in a post. 'Sheeple who voted for Brexit, or who get vaccinated against Covid, or who believe Starmer's promises' means nothing, but I've seen the term used to describe those who do all those things.

It is a word used by people who copy terms from social media, and CBA to think about the various possible reasons for different people doing the same thing. If anything, those who use terms like that, (ie unoriginal and vague) are behaving like 'sheeple'.

nanna8

I think so many responses on this thread says it all. Quite often I hold back from saying what I really think. I tell myself it is cultural differences and a different way of living . Sometimes I just think to myself I can’t be bothered arguing , what’s the point?

I'm sure we all do that, though. Sometimes there really is no point, and that's fair enough, really.

My current favourite new word is phubbing …… phone snubbing 😊

No not really. If you've got something to say then say it. There are always going to be people who don't like or agree with comments. It would be a boring world if there wasn't

undines

Yes, definitely. And posters on here who talk about 'anti-semitic, racist, xenophobic, ridiculous, blatantly evidenced untruths' are the ones who worry me the most! What exactly is 'anti-semitic' or 'racist'? Those words are often interpreted to mean saying anything at all against the behaviour of Israel, or saying practically anything at all about black or brown people, that isn't totally complimentary (although you can say what you like about the Irish!). As for 'blatantly evidenced untruths' - whose evidence do we believe? And use of the word 'ridiculous' to apply to someone's opinion is highly judgemental. We have effective censorship now, debate is shut down on several topics and giving 'offence' can get you cancelled. I am definitely afraid of saying what I think, because I agree with the poster who says there are bullies on GN. There are bullies everywhere, of course, and I guess I'm not that bothered - but there's no point in voicing an opinion if there isn't going to be calm and sensible debate.

👏👏👏 I could have written that myself! There are a couple of people on here who do everything they can to shut down debate and call you a racist or say you lack compassion.

I know I am neither of these things so it’s like water off a duck’s back to me. I worked very closely with Ugandan Asians in the 70s when Idi Amin threw them out. I went into schools, I interviewed them for jobs, I visited their homes, went to their family celebrations etc.

More recently I have been helping out a Ukrainian family (so I do not lack compassion) but now my view is we need controlled immigration and we should really sort out the problem with illegal immigrants but if I say so on here I am a racist! 😝

Some people just like to feel superior to others but as I have discovered IRL most of them are all mouth and no action.

I joined very recently having only had experience on a forum for my health problem that is consistently kind, supportive and informative. I was pretty shocked at the vicious unkindness that a few posters seem to like to share on here and mumsnet in particular. I am used to it now and they are definitely in a minority. It was a shock though and I wondered if it stemmed from mental health problems or just downright unpleasantness.

Having been on another SM platform where the moderators jump on anything they personally disagree with I find GN in comparison has a relatively light touch in regard to moderation.

I didn't spot your post tho ginny.

The GN talk guidelines
www.gransnet.com/info/netiquette

Are fairly clear on a number of issues that we've alluded to above.

Whether the guidelines are "too PC?" - they do mention

"That said, we will remove posts we believe to be obscene, racist, homophobic, contain personal attacks or break the law once they are brought to our attention."
"We have an extremely low tolerance for words that are offensive to those with physical or mental disabilities."

Like the guidelines generally tho - 'moderation in all things"

I find myself shying away from various topics because my thoughts on them would not be popular, I think these days when everyone is quick to call you out for just about everything it is wise to keep a low profile on contentious subjects

Haha. Some of my thoughts are best left unwritten or unspoken. If only I could remember that sometimes !!!

I am not afraid to post what I think, but I do try to remember that the written word can seem harshed than the spoken and take care not to give offence.

Obviously, not everyone will agree with us ever, whether on a forum like this one, or when we talk to someone in the shops or at a meeting. People are welcome to have a different opinion to mine, and generally speaking we can agree to disagree.

Some subjects lead more easily to contention than others, politics and bringing up children spring to mind.

I am sorry to hear that some of you are afraid to post what you think - are you also afraid to say what you think in public?

IMO no-one should be, or need to be, so try to get used to saying what you think and see if it doesn't become easier to do so.

I never thought I would say this but sometimes, yes.
I volunteer for a well-known charity and tend to work with the same group of people. One of our number apparently said something that offended a group member, though they never told the person who made the remark at the time. It was instead ‘escalated up’, the person was admonished and we all received an email basically telling us not to speak about subjects which might be deemed controversial. Same thing happened after Brexit.
Some of my family - I have a very outspoken niece - and one or two of my friends are aware of some of my views which, truth be told, are really quite moderate, but generally I keep them to myself.

That's a yes from me.

You are correct, Whethertomorrow.

These days there are so many people who just seek to be offended.

No matter what you say, someone will want to cancel you.

Could be interesting*grandtanteJE65*. Certainly might be some very ‘different’ posts. One of my very first posts was pulled for saying what I thought and to this day I don’t quite understand why. I came away thinking the UK was so politically correct it wasn’t worth saying anything. What is politically correct there is not even an issue here but I have learnt that now.

I agree wholeheartedly that no-one should be scared to say what they think, and of course, a debate where people do not all agree is perfectly fine and healthy. It would be a boring world if we all had the same opinions. Some threads aren't even about opinions and still there are certain people who think it is acceptable to be rude or nasty and put someone down. Like I said previously, you don't know what other peoples lives have been like, what troubles they have had etc, and some people are more sensitive than others. I know someone who is quite sensitive and they were once told, after a cruel jibe, that they needed their sensitivity to be 'bashed out of them'! Again, we are all different and there is nothing wrong with someone being sensitive... or less so. And they have every right to be who they are. I rarely post, because I have read some of the cruel and unkind posts on here, on threads which were simply asking for advice. I am not generally scared of giving my opinion in a situation which encourages it, but I know that if I did, and someone was nasty about it, I would dwell on it and it would upset me. Should I feel like that? Of course not, but we can't help who we are, so self-preservation takes over, and I avoid certain threads and certain people! Acceptance of others, no matter what you think, is key and makes the world a better place.

From what a poster said a while back - they appealed a deletion and the post was re-instated - I think GN moderators would give you a reason if asked?

Not at all scared to say what I think but when I disagree with a post I try to say so as politely as possible just as in real life. What annoys me is the number of people who don't seem to read posts before voicing an opinion and getting the wrong end of the stick plus the people who post things as factual when they are in fact completely incorrect - again same as in 'real life'.

I’m not afraid of anyone on here, I post how I feel but will say I don’t think I’m rude., have been brought up to say how I feel and not be afraid to speak out, I’m exactly the same in RL aas I am on social media. I think you can put your feelings across without being bolshy, I do find it sad that I’ve had a few private messages sent by people that don’t want to continue to post or have stopped posting as they have felt bullied by a few here, which is a real shame, sadly it’s the same in the outside world there will always be a few that feel that their opinion counts and no one else’s does. It’s a fact of life.

The difficulty we have is that at times people do post threads usually asking AIBU? and the answer is in fact 'yes'. Usually a grandmother estranging her son and DiL because they did not allow her to be present at the birth of a brandchild, or something similar.

People like this will follow with a post saying how nasty and rude and horrible we all are, simply because we answered the question she asked and it wasn't the answer she wanted.