When is a budget wedding not a budget wedding?

😂😂😂😂 My daughter and her lovely partner will be getting married on Sept 1st this year. My daughter is wearing a very modest pale pink suit and the other bride a dress which was under £400.

They are having 40 guests to both the registry office and the buffet do afterwards. Their budget has been set at £5,000 and they’ve stuck to it, with us paying around half of this. The hotel where they are having their reception is very nice and it’ll be a lovely day. We have splashed out on two lovely wedding cars but other than that it really is very modest.

It sounds as though your daughter and her partner are all set for a very nice day and nobody is being exploited.

I wish them both all the best for Sept 1st. I hope you and all the guests have an enjoyable day too.

I think the bride is treating the bridesmaids shockingly and if I was one of them I would refuse to go. I have never heard of this before.
By budget she means getting unpaid help!

I was wondering if the bridesmaids are all family members and so can't refuse. I can't imagine any friends would do quite so much.

Maybe your daughter should not be involved in the wedding if she can be so negative about her friend behind her back, nobody has to do the brides bidding.

Budget is relative, £10,000 is a lot to some nothing to others.

Sounds like the bridesmaids are being taken for one big ride...

My sons' weddings were very different. One cost £2000 and the other umpteen times more. Both were wonderful in their different ways. I just wish the budgetters had splashed out on a professional photographer rather than depend on a mate!

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Bumface

It sounds as though your daughter and her partner are all set for a very nice day and nobody is being exploited.

I wish them both all the best for Sept 1st. I hope you and all the guests have an enjoyable day too.

Thank you so much

Why has this been reported?

Theexwife

Maybe your daughter should not be involved in the wedding if she can be so negative about her friend behind her back, nobody has to do the brides bidding.

Budget is relative, £10,000 is a lot to some nothing to others.

Do I detect the fluttering of a Harpy's wings, again.

I think you are missing the point. My daughter is not snarking behind the bride's back. She has not mentioned this to anyone apart from me and I think she is entitled to vent to her mother as the bride's behaviour is upsetting her.
The point, that I obviously failed to make, was that large amounts of money are being spent in some areas of the wedding but the bridesmaids are are expected not only provide their own dresses etc. but also stand in as unpaid staff. If this really were a budget wedding the bride would not be splashing so much cash on various other things.

One thing I have noticed as I have gone through life is that, with a few exceptions, there is an inverse relationship between the cost of the wedding and the durability of the ensuing marriage.

Theexwife

Why has this been reported?

Sorry. I've posted this on the wrong thread!

I reported something else.
Had 2 windows open!
Apologies all!

M0nica - I do hope my son and his bride are the exception that proves the rule!
They spent a lot on their wedding.
😱

It is an industry that employs a great many people. We have fed the beast I'm afraid.
Gone are the days when we married in our local church, had the reception in the local hall or club, hired the dresses and suits, and had the local caterers provide the food.
I don't know what people expected when the flood gates were opened that enabled the licensing of marriages in public places.
People do have choices, maybe this young woman is just exercising her right to make her own decisions about what people are telling her is 'her' day.

I'm not sure the cost of this wedding and whether it's considered budget or not is the crux of this....it's more about a bride thinking that her wedding day entitles her to feel more important than all those 'friends' and to use others without thinking about them at all! Sorry if I'm speaking out of turn, but it doesn't sound like a very kind person....

Thinking of that keepingquiet I did go to a community hall wedding some years ago.
Everyone in the family and close friends brought the food, a friend made the cake, many of us stayed behind to tidy up and a few went back the next morning to do a "clean" in the daylight.

It was a really joyful event and it was a privilege to share that day with them.

M0nica

One thing I have noticed as I have gone through life is that, with a few exceptions, there is an inverse relationship between the cost of the wedding and the durability of the ensuing marriage.

That's so true M0nica! One wedding I went to was videoed and the video passed round the family. By the time it got to me the couple were separating!!

May daughter had a fantastic wedding. Registry office with just close family, pub laid on a lovely lunch afterwards- weather good enough to be outdoors.
The following weekend they had a party for friends and family in the meadow at the back of their house. They hired a marquee and portaloos, friends did decorations, DJ and entertainment, a pizza van came in the evening. It was all low budget but could not have been nicer. Some people camped overnight.
My daughter did go to the “ extravagance” of a different dress for each occasion.
I cannot see the point of excessively expensive weddings - more than the deposit on a house, but taking advantage of the bridesmaids is just not on, unless they knew what was expected and agreed beforehand.

It sounds all rather involved and complicated, I do hope all goes well.

NotSphaghetti - mine too - my d.I.l.’s parents spent about £25000 on her wedding. Only child, so understable. My contribution was £1500 towards the evening buffet. My ex-husband contributed (not a lot, as I remember).
Anyway, they are still together after 10 years, and hopefully , for a very very long time.

But these are the very tasks that bridesmaids have been expected t o do for centuries all over the world!

I admit, it is a departure from British or American tradition to expect the bridesmaids to pay for their own dresses, shoes and hair-dos, but this is common in other countries.

If the bridesmaids don't want to do all this, then it is up to them to say so.

I cannot work out whether the OP is complaining on her own or her daughter's behalf, but sour grapes spring to mind!

I am watching a bit of American television and it seems that it’s normal there for the bride to select what she wants the bridesmaids to wear, but for them to pick up the cost of their own outfits.
In this instance, it’s not the cost of the wedding. The point is the attitude of the bride, which quite frankly is unacceptable.

hamster58

I'm not sure the cost of this wedding and whether it's considered budget or not is the crux of this....it's more about a bride thinking that her wedding day entitles her to feel more important than all those 'friends' and to use others without thinking about them at all! Sorry if I'm speaking out of turn, but it doesn't sound like a very kind person....

Thank you hamster58 I think you have hit the nail on the head for me. I understand that it should be the bride's day and as enjoyable as possible but not at the expense, not just financially, of the bridesmaids. The bride is not a close friend but she and my daughter go back a long way so my daughter feels obliged to go through with it. I gather they no longer have much in common. Judging from this and previous behaviour, I don't think the bride is a very kind person either.