Step son trashing me with family over babysitting

I've told' my husband to babysit, he's not that into that idea either!

We have both worked very hard in our lives. We want peace and quiet. We've done our time, it's time for the parents to stip up. They created the children without anyone's permission they need to take care of the choices they made.

I have no problem babysitting if there are emergencies or for a date night planned in advance. I look forward to my weekends after working all week.

He has the kids every other weekend, he has a job that only requires nights. and only on the weekends he does not have the kids. I'm not seeing why he needs a babysitter. He has plenty of time to himself.

Thank you all.

My husband had been divorced for years before I met him. I don't have a problem with the son other than he gossips about actually us because of the babysitting issue.

I am very good to him and his kids. We have a great time when we are together.

I did confront him, he knows clearly my stance. I am good to all of them a great wife and I do not deserve this behavior and I told him as much.

He does not treat me nasty at all when we see each other its very pleasant.

Its just the gossip that kills me.

Actually he was complaining that his wife is talking about him to her new boyfriend. I took that opportunity to let him know that I know he is talking about me to his family and friends. I knew at that moment he would understand how that feels.

I also told him I don't appreciate being compared to other people. I am who I am and just like I accept him as he is then he also needs to accept me. He is not perfect, believe me he falls short in many areas.

People need to take an inventory about themselves instead of passing judgement on others.

Why doesn't your husband babysit? especially as he doesn't work.. just ignore the gossip it's pathetic and unjustified

My Father remarried and it caused a lot of problems with my brother for no real reason. I did maintain contact and made the effort to be nice to dad’s new wife, brother was just no contact.
In the end the marriage didn’t last and normality returned.

My Father remarried and it caused a lot of problems with my brother for no real reason. I did maintain contact and made the effort to be nice to dad’s new wife, brother was just no contact.
In the end the marriage didn’t last and normality returned.

No, you are not to blame. You were straight and honest. Looking after kiddies can be exhausting however much we love them. I was in a similar position as you, when my youngest son had his first boy. I was already committed to my older daughter’s children , plus I was working part-time. So my offer was, baby-sitting if they wanted to have a night out, but no regular child-minder. They were not too happy but accepted it. I also must add that they were financially very well-off, and could afford to pay for a Nanny. D.I.l’s parents were also available. My daughter couldn’t.

Please don't excuse his behaviour and enable him

You deserve better

He is disappointed with his son's behavior.

"Husband wants no friction, and they just pretend."

Your husband is a coward, he doesn't even defend you from his son!

Drop the rope.

Stop hosting, stop socializing, initiating anything.

I would move back, and send coward husband to marital therapy

Husband does not like friction so he takes a back seat, when I talked to the son in front of him he added some things and did take my side, However he is not one to make an issue of things.

We have a 10 year anniversary tomorrow.

Thank you all for your comments, I appreciate you all. I have sat with all of them, to no avail. Husband wants no friction, and they just pretend.

I have thrown my hands up! I think what troubles me the most is the gossip with everyone about it. Makes we wonder if I made a mistake getting married. I am not throwing in the towel just highly disappointed.

What is your husband doing while you are the bad guy?

Thank you, but I don't feel anything should be assumed, it should be discussed,

The problem is you don’t know in advance how it’s going to work out, sorry it’s not great for you at present. My wife is not especially “child friendly” we don’t have GC overnight and only babysit infrequently. Second marriages are often quite tense with step children, don’t stress yourself, you just have make the best of it, even if it means little contact.

You’ve been honest and open with them. You’re not the bad guy. Sit down with them both, with your husband present and explain what you can and cannot do.

I wouldn’t have moved like the other grandparents…. by moving nearer you gave off the feeling of an intention to help