Meeting new people who only talk about themselves

Can you perhaps initiate conversation one to one with one of the quieter people? Others are probably becoming irritated by the dominant ones too. I hope things improve and you are able to enjoy your holiday.

The best solo holidays I ever went on were with alone. Then I had only myself to bore.

I once made the mistake of going solo on a NIle cruise with a bunch of Brits. The cruise was from Luxor to Aswan and back. I joined at Aswan and they had all got into their little cliques. At dinner not one of the couples had the basic good manners to ask if Id like to share a bottle of wine. So I ordered my own and got the crew to keep half til the following night as I cant drink a bottle on my own. Had my table mates been American they would have automatically included me. Americans can be a bit loud when they travel but they are much more hospitable to solo fellow travellers.

That’s such a shame Optimistic1. I’m sorry it’s spoiling your holiday. As Elre1 has suggested, are there any others who are quiet like you? Start a conversation with them. That would be the best plan.
I suppose some people on solo holidays are often lonely, and don’t get the chance to talk much. No consolation for you, but I would try to look at it from that perspective. Some people sadly just don’t think. 💐

Reminds me of a time I was at a table with a load of strangers. One woman said she could tell which women made their gravy from scratch and which made it from granules... I had nothing to contribute to that conversation.

Sadly I think that so many people find themselves interesting, they assume others will as well. Isn’t it the most boring situation to be in, when one person doesn’t know when to shut up! I tend to excuse myself, life’s too short.

Optomistic1 - no you’re not boring, sadly are surrounded by a rather rude self-centred lot. I hope you find someone with things in common to chat with. Ignore the others, don’t let them spoil your holiday. I hope things pick up and you enjoy yourself.

keepingquiet

Reminds me of a time I was at a table with a load of strangers. One woman said she could tell which women made their gravy from scratch and which made it from granules... I had nothing to contribute to that conversation.

🤣

Met one last week and was unfortunate enough to sit next to her at a function. Now I know I won’t sit near her again ! She was a shocker, all about me me me.

nanna8

Met one last week and was unfortunate enough to sit next to her at a function. Now I know I won’t sit near her again ! She was a shocker, all about me me me.

Hi and they don’t appear/seem to notice do they, astounding really. They simply rabbit on!

If people go on a solo holiday it's usually because they are single.
Therefore they only have themself to talk about and there opinions to express. What else are they going to talk about?? They could also be anxious and feel like they have to keep the conversation going or as someone else said perhaps they are lonely and don't get out much so go into overdrive trying to appear interesting to others. They could of course just be selfish rude people. 🤔🤔

Know what you mean, probably better holidaying alone as on a Solo you're stuck for the duration, long lost friend/aquaintance when I speak to her on the phone is all about her latest ailment, 59 minutes Friday.

Thanks everyone for your kind words and advice and for making me smile. Glad it's not just me! I will take on board the trying to speak to a few of the other people and see how that goes. I was just cross with myself last night for letting it get to me but you have all reminded me that most people do like to talk about themselves given half the chance!

Could you pal up with the travel company rep or whoever is in charge of your group? You could ask them about the interesting places in the vicinity and get inside information about the local specialities or sights.

We had a woman at an event recently. We are going to call her Mrs. Kipling from now on. I believe she makes exceedingly good cakes and can spot one with cornflour and baking powder from a mile away!
Anyway we were treated to a masterclass in cake making and my colleague (whose business is making cakes) managed to smile and nod in all the right places.

It's definitely not you Optimistic it seems to be very common now as we seem to have lost the art of conversation which should be like a tennis match I was told. What do would also say is don't stay in a golf related hotel as we just did in Portugal. When they aren't playing large groups of me were drinking heavily, swearing profusely and playing loud water polo when everyone wanted a snooze in the afternoons. The swearing was monumental. I was ashamed to call myself a golfer.

I went for a weekend on my own to Donegal. When people at the next table about 8 of them, saw I was on my own they insisted I join them.
When I went to pay the bill they had paid it. They invited me back to their house but I didn't go.

I've been to a master class on this. What I do now is have a little book at home and every time I meet someone who talks only about themselves I write a little note in the book and give the person a code. i.e. if it is at the yacht club, I'll call them Mr or Mrs Sailor or if at botany group Mr or Mrs Ragwort and then jot down they spoke all about themselves or their marvellous people, or wealth etc. etc. It does not identify them but it certainly makes me feel better and makes me laugh when I look at the notes months later. It is not you, it is their complete lack of conversational/social skills. But then again, you sometimes meet someone who is socially aware, has great conversational skills and you jot that down in your book as a joyous interlude.

Sadly some lonely people lose the ability to converse and just talk at others. I phone my sister on a monthly basis just to check she's ok but always have a magazine to hand. She can talk non stop about cooking and cleaning whilst I read my mag. Occasionally she'll stop just to check I'm still there. Difficult to do at a dinner table though!

Well done for finding that courage. Its hard to push ourselves outwards. It takes persisitence and resilience. Sometimes the "talkers" are feeling insecure and feel they need to fill the space.
Or maybe they are just thick skinned!

I certainly recognise that feeling about wanting to retreat. I have been on a few meals out and so on with strangers. One person suggested we went round the table and introduced ourselves. Turns out they were all running successful businesses, winning the Nobel prize or reading 10 books simultaneously ( not!) I mumbled something and couldn't wait to get home.

Maybe try to tag aong with the nice people on the trip.
Best of luck.

I think I’m on the other side here. I don’t mind people going on about themselves or their life. I don’t find it boring and I enjoy hearing about what they get up to. I’m more of a listener though and very rarely talk about myself.

I remember a previous thread on this. I think I started it! I'd been at a coffee meet up with about five others and one of them literally did all the talking. I was interested in her total lack of awareness at others sitting politely and offering no encouragement (not that she needed it) . She was blithely completely unaware that she was dominating the whole conversation. I subsequently had coffee with her on her own and she complained that everyone was so unfriendly round here and nobody asked her to anything. Needless to say there were no more coffee group meetings and I have many other more interesting things to do that sit listening to her drone on nonstop. She's left blaming others for their lack of interest in her!
Good luck OP. It's great that you took the plunge and went on this holiday. Look for the other quiet ones and enjoy their company. Let us know how you get on.

Vintagewhine

Sadly some lonely people lose the ability to converse and just talk at others. I phone my sister on a monthly basis just to check she's ok but always have a magazine to hand. She can talk non stop about cooking and cleaning whilst I read my mag. Occasionally she'll stop just to check I'm still there. Difficult to do at a dinner table though!

😂

I think I’m with Rocky I go into Miss Marple mode and it is amazing what people will tell you if you just let them talk, I think I have one of those faces!!
I can also hold a really good conversation about the weather.
I would look for another person in the room on their own or looking how you feel and chat to them.

I dread getting into what I call "Non-stick pan" conversations.
I remember being stuck with a group of, non-working out side the home and proud of it, wives and vainly trying to remember what make my fridge, washing machine and cooker were in order to keep the conversation going. I am sure they had me down as a complete dunce.

Another time, I had always wanted to go to Blackpool but DH didn't want to go, so I went on a coach alone. I was sat next to a man who was over twenty years older than me and having stupidly, told him I was a retired nurse, he followed me around for the rest of the holiday so that he could tell me about all the various illnesses he and his family had ever suffered. As well as having had measles three times in childhood, he had various sordid problems with his dangly bits and liked to discuss them over meals as we were sat at the same table. The final straw was when the waitress asked us how long we had been married. (my DH is younger than I am)

You've described why I've stopped joining groups and social activities- life's too short to be stuck with the wrong people!