Calling women by a Mrs title ... & commenting on what they wear.

JudyBloom

I like the handle 'Mrs' to my name. If a couple are married then they share the same name, it means 'you are one' I don't consider it old fashioned at all, it is respectful.

That’s not how it works though, couples who are married only share the same name if the woman adopts the man’s name, or vice versa. You don’t automatically become a Mrs when you marry.
All of us are free to choose and use whatever name we wish, and in an ideal world people would always use the name and title we have chosen. It’s fine if you want to be called Mrs, it’s also fine if Akshata Murty wants to be known as that rather than Mrs Sunak.

I have never used my academic achievements in my title, (and there are a few), other than in a job application. I find it unnecessary and slightly boastful.

How very old fashioned.

Its something I earned by my own efforts rather than a label which society has stuck on to me, like Mrs. Mrs would imply I am some man's property. No man has ever owned me or ever will.

MOnica you have brought to mind Michael Foot and the 'Donkey' jacket at the Remembrance Day wreath laying. What a hoo ha that caused.

I occasionally go to a golf club for lunch (don't play golf, it's just a handy location). On the wall is a list of past presidents and "Lady Captains". Up to 2020, the women were all Mrs.... or Miss.... but the recent ones were just Mary Smith or Joan Bloggs - I assume by their own request. I think many women now prefer it.

I never use a prefix unless specifically required in forms.

I’m very happy to be called Mrs in formal situations. I was called Mrs M for years as a teacher. No problem with it.

First name of given name is more appropriate than Christian name not everyone is Christian. I am happy to be called Mrs I don’t have a problem with it and I don’t think it’s old fashioned.

Ms is my choice on forms. I’m widowed, but my late DH never had to go from being a Mr. to anything else, so I don’t see why I should.
I think Ms. is rather useful as it covers both possibilities, unless you are titled or whatever.

Mrs or Mr or is normal if you’re a teacher and I don’t mind. Much better IMO than being addressed by my Christian name by someone I’ve never met.
That had one strange effect though. I spoke to someone on the phone and gave my title and surname.
The follow up was sent to someone called Missy Go.

If my name is Sarah Smith and my hubby is John Smith ... which we're not .... as I'm married and happily took his surname by choice, I have no objection to being called Mrs Smith but what I absolutely HATE and find it extremely sexist and chauvinistic is me being called Mrs John Smith!

No, I'm NOT Mrs John Smith, I'm Mrs Sarah Smith!

I am too Spuddy Mrs. my first name and Mr. S.'s surname.

I’m married but don’t used my OHs surname so I’m not Mrs. Interesting that female judges are always Mrs Justice whatever because it sounded wrong to be called Miss Justice !

Spuddy

If my name is Sarah Smith and my hubby is John Smith ... which we're not .... as I'm married and happily took his surname by choice, I have no objection to being called Mrs Smith but what I absolutely HATE and find it extremely sexist and chauvinistic is me being called Mrs John Smith!

No, I'm NOT Mrs John Smith, I'm Mrs Sarah Smith!

This has probably long since gone out of fashion, but I was taught that it would be correct to address a married lady as "Mrs John Smith" and address a widow as "Mrs Sarah Smith"

I am and always be a Mrs even though my husband died 20 years ago . But always been Mrs them my Christian name followed by my husband's surname.

It's not compulsory to take on Mrs followed by you husbands name when you get married. My daughter is Ms x x the name she was born with.

I prefer my full name. I've never changed it: happy enough to use Ms on the drop down menus.

Dates from the 70's when it was invented to give an equivalent of "Mr" and thought it was a good idea, but if someone calls me Mrs as in (age?) assumptions I just go with it, doesn't bother me.

I lived abroad, travelled quite widely and was a professional singer in the Gulbenkian Foundation in Portugal of which I am proud. you only got into that choir by your voice. It did not matter one jot what your name, title, or where you lived. It was you and your voice and the work you put in. But I got sick and tired of endless british people , when I was back in england at some function, who would say "Oh what did your husband do in Portugal" or words to that effect. If i was feeling ratty I would just reply "I have no idea!!" or "what has that got to do with anything?" you never heard them say to my husband oh what did your wife do etc.
It can still be similar. Years later my husband had retired and drove just locally after have done a lot of driving during his working life. I then drove far more miles than he did as I was a volunteer for the ambulance car scheme in rural yorkshire and so did thousands of miles travelling about. We went to look at a possible new car, and having looked round one car I asked the sales man what the mileage was etc and he looked straight at my husband and replied. I asked another question about the engine and the same thing happened. So I said to my husband come on lets go. The salesman looked quite shocked and said is there something else you would like to lookat - still looking at my husband. I said as I am the main driver and you have not had the courtesy to address me or even look at me I would expect the service I would get would match and so will go elsewhere , which we did.. Whatever you like to be called it should be your choice and should be accepted. If i married an out of work office worker, or the managing director of a large company or the king, I am still myself and should not be judged by what or how my family members behaves . I am entitled to be blamed for my mistakes and praised for my good work. I accept that responsibilty and do my best to respect everyone else and treat them in the same way,

Well done re car salesman!

Idea of keeping my own name probably started with my mum who took my dads surname 1948 but always her own first name.
She didnt see why she should lose her identity by becoming Mrs John smith instead of becoming Mrs Ellen Smith.

I have never had a problem with being called Mrs.

I had a similar situation when I had my car serviced madeleine. The receptionist who telephoned to say it was ready a collect payment always asked for my husband. Every single time. I think she just didn’t like to acknowledge that a woman might own a nice car and be able to pay for it to be serviced. Very petty.

I remember getting a letter years ago addressed to Mrs David Aga. I was annoyed as I felt I had become a part of his property and not a person in my own right.

That’s how I understood it Varian.

I kept my family name when I married Mr I in 1983. We discussed it and he was clear he wanted to keep his last name and didn’t expect me to change mine. I was already Ms so marriage changed nothing.
When we did our first wills, our solicitor wanted to have me listed as Mrs Husbands last name, known professionally as Ms My last name. I declined, said that’s nonsense and makes me sound like a sex worker.

It’s good to have women like Akshata Murty and Victoria Starmer (nee Alexander) ie women with their own careers, married to PM’s

Our family surnames were presumably our father's surnames.

Unless we had very progressive, forward-thinking mothers.

AGAA4

I remember getting a letter years ago addressed to Mrs David Aga. I was annoyed as I felt I had become a part of his property and not a person in my own right.

Oh yes, that is apparently the correct form of address unless a woman is widowed, then she should use her own forename and husband's surname.

Germanshepherdsmum

I have never had a problem with being called Mrs.

I had a similar situation when I had my car serviced madeleine. The receptionist who telephoned to say it was ready a collect payment always asked for my husband. Every single time. I think she just didn’t like to acknowledge that a woman might own a nice car and be able to pay for it to be serviced. Very petty.

I remember when we went to buy a car for me. The salesman at the showroom knew us, DH had bought a couple of cars from there previously.

The salesman looked at DH and said "And how will you be paying, Sir?"
DH looked at me and said "How are you paying, dear?"
😃

varian

Spuddy

If my name is Sarah Smith and my hubby is John Smith ... which we're not .... as I'm married and happily took his surname by choice, I have no objection to being called Mrs Smith but what I absolutely HATE and find it extremely sexist and chauvinistic is me being called Mrs John Smith!

No, I'm NOT Mrs John Smith, I'm Mrs Sarah Smith!

This has probably long since gone out of fashion, but I was taught that it would be correct to address a married lady as "Mrs John Smith" and address a widow as "Mrs Sarah Smith"

But, actually, you are Mrs John Smith – the Mistress (in its old, respectable sense) of John Smith. That's what it means. Nowadays old-fashioned but its meaning was always harmless.

When I first lived in Scotland as a teenager the full title of Mistress was used of all older women whether they were married or not.

Callistemon213

Our family surnames were presumably our father's surnames.

Unless we had very progressive, forward-thinking mothers.

My DS has my surname, and his Dad's surname as middle name. We always told him he could change it if he wanted.