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Are you a private person?

(58 Posts)
kircubbin2000 Tue 16-Jul-24 11:25:40

I'm usually quite open about family and life in general. I was surprised recently to hear that a friend from one of my classes has a sister who lives near me. She has never mentioned this and usually only talks about the tennis or football.
If that were me I would have named my sister and asked have you met her?
I suppose we are all different.

HeavenLeigh Wed 17-Jul-24 12:28:17

While I’m friendly and outgoing. There are loads of things that I keep to myself. I’m not an open book and I’ve got nothing to hide at all lol. I live in an area where people love to gossip about others and some in quite a mean way. Which I find hard to get my head round. I like to be kind to all guess we are all different.

Iam64 Tue 16-Jul-24 18:57:55

An interesting question on a forum where personal opinions, even brief personal information is shared
I like people, get along with most people but I’m cautious till i know people well about sharing personal info n

dogsmother Tue 16-Jul-24 18:55:30

Kircubbin, I’d be disappointed. But I too am very open and because I share I always expect it to be reciprocated. We are in my opinion just much more open and friendly. She may have things lurking 8n her family that she’d rather others didn’t know about.

JaneJudge Tue 16-Jul-24 18:06:15

maybe you are friends with my Mother

Charleygirl5 Tue 16-Jul-24 18:03:37

A friend I have known for many years lives many miles away but each time we communicate by phone all I hear are her aches and pains and it is not only once, it is week after week. I find it wearing.

JaneJudge Tue 16-Jul-24 17:15:49

I'd have thought it was strange too

kircubbin2000 Tue 16-Jul-24 15:11:17

The point is that she never brought it up. I have known her over 30 years and someone else told me about her sister. I never mentioned her or asked her name just thought it strange.

MatildaMay Tue 16-Jul-24 15:00:12

Doodledog

I dislike being cross questioned, but will tell most people most things in relaxed conversation - I have nothing to hide, but feel uncomfortable when talking to gossips or nosy parkers.

I'm not sure I understand why you would wait to be asked to go to coffee, kircubbin. Is there someone 'in charge', whose role it is to invite people? That's unusual in a class situation - it's probably more likely that people have just got together and decided to go. If you don't include yourself, people will often assume it's because you don't want to be part of it.

If the lady did not want to be asked her sister's name then why would she bring it up in the first place especially when her sister lives near the person she was speaking to.

HowVeryDareYou2 Tue 16-Jul-24 14:51:29

I'm very much an open book.

JaneJudge Tue 16-Jul-24 14:25:08

Oh Esmay thanks please look after yourself x

JaneJudge Tue 16-Jul-24 14:24:12

I think I tell people too much and leave myself too open

BlueBelle Tue 16-Jul-24 14:23:36

I m an open book wear my heart on my sleeve and all the rest of that stuff I have no secrets normally What you see is what you get

kircubbin2000 Tue 16-Jul-24 14:21:08

Nasty if it's done on purpose. I have a new friend and I have accidently mentioned things eg the plot of a novel which I immediately realised were triggering.Also I recommended a TV documentary not realising it might upset her.

Esmay Tue 16-Jul-24 14:15:33

I'm very open , chatty and friendly , but there are some aspects of my life which are too painful to talk about .
Recently , one of my friends has begun to ask me about it even though she can see that her questions are causing me distress .
My closest friends are aware of some things , but never ask me about it .
I'm tired of hearing about her illnesses , allergies and phobias and , having realised that she tells me many lies -I don't want to be friends with her anymore .

Joseann Tue 16-Jul-24 14:13:39

In real life, I think I am quite reserved. People often say, "I never you were/did ......"

Norah Tue 16-Jul-24 14:11:35

I'm very private.

I've no need to give my opinions (other than to my husband).

kircubbin2000 Tue 16-Jul-24 14:09:35

Talking about probing one acquaintance is unbelievably nosey. She interrupted a conversation I was having at my daughters wedding to ask how my mother was related to another guest and what was the history of his family!

kircubbin2000 Tue 16-Jul-24 14:05:49

Doodledog. It's 30 people at a keep fit class. They looked like a small set of friends so I will wait another week to see what's going on. The other class I go to 5 of us are friends and I think a stranger joining us would seem odd.

TerriBull Tue 16-Jul-24 13:16:37

I think we have to allow people to be themselves as to how much personal information they would want to share, some family dynamics are difficult and that woman may not, for whatever reason wish to discuss a family member. My feelings are, never probe, you never know what can of worms could be opened. Take the cue from her, people talk if they want to share a problem, not everyone does though.

Doodledog Tue 16-Jul-24 13:12:39

I dislike being cross questioned, but will tell most people most things in relaxed conversation - I have nothing to hide, but feel uncomfortable when talking to gossips or nosy parkers.

I'm not sure I understand why you would wait to be asked to go to coffee, kircubbin. Is there someone 'in charge', whose role it is to invite people? That's unusual in a class situation - it's probably more likely that people have just got together and decided to go. If you don't include yourself, people will often assume it's because you don't want to be part of it.

MatildaMay Tue 16-Jul-24 12:30:00

I would have asked her the name of her sister and where she lived.

I don't call it being nosey I call it being interested.

Tuaim Tue 16-Jul-24 12:24:45

I tend to be a listener. Most of my friends are octogenarians and they all have a lot to tell about their lives and time past. Many of them have led some very interesting lives or have a very sanguine approach to each day.

Whiff Tue 16-Jul-24 12:02:58

I am open about my life experiences as I know me being a chatterbox has helped others and they have helped me. But the only person who knew the real me and me him was husband but since he died 20 years no ones knows the real me . We where eachothers other halves and together we made a whole. I became half a person the moment he took his last breath. And still only half but learn to cope with that . But at times even now grief overwhelms me. Like yesterday it came out of the blue. So had a cry and got on with things.

We all keep part of ourselves private and only share that with that one special person who completes us. But that's the way it should be but that's just how I feel others may disagree. But we are all different and that's what makes so interesting and challenging. And we are never to old to learn new things and meet new people.

LauraNorderr Tue 16-Jul-24 11:59:24

I would say that I’m quite open if I’m asked about myself. I find that I know an awful lot about others but they know very little about me because most are so busy talking about themselves and rarely show an interest in others.
The exception to the rule are the people I’ve befriended on gransnet. The nature of social media is that you are able to read about others and then tell something about yourself without interruption.
So people I have never met know more about me than people I’ve known for years.

kircubbin2000 Tue 16-Jul-24 11:48:11

Big louis I think a lot of us are like that. Even when family come to stay I'm relieved when they leave. I have some friends whose narrow views mean I keep quiet as I don't like arguments.My best friend has completely different political views.