Dreading the school holidays with neighbours screaming children

I also have some very loud neighbours :
one is elderly and has fits of screaming hysterics at her husband over every activity in the garden .The first time it happened I thought that he was murdering her and nearly called the Police .
My father said it was normal for her .
Normal for her to scream and also to trespass in my father's garden .
I've asked her not to but she has done it since .
Her immediate neighbours have their grandchildren there for some weekends, some bank holidays and right through every school holiday .
They have a pool and a trampoline and it is deafening all day and into the night .
Another has a dog which gets extremely stressed as he or she is left alone when the owner goes to work .
And he or she barks non stop .
Another has BBQ parties and deafening music .

It's a sleepy suburb and it used to be blissfully peaceful , now it certainly isn't .

I can do a painting in the garden , but have long since given up reading .

I'm thinking of playing my music- classical , jazz and opera loudly !

I used to make,my daughter go in if she was too noisy.

Totally agree with you. We had neighbours who had 3 children who were out morning, noon and night.
Often people will say how lovely it is to hear children playing. Not to me it isn't!

That sounds so wearing Kiri. Screaming is very disturbing!
We used to play out when I was a child and occasionally needed telling to be quieter! Back then any adult could tell us off and we would listen.
I hope the screamers grow up fast or move away soon. In the mean time could secondary glazing (to deaden the sound but not stop the light)in one room help?

If you need to stay in the same town have you looked to see if you could move nearby to a quieter street, or one with traffic.. it sounds like a your street is more suited to families. You would obviously have the cost of moving but it might be worth it.. Another option might be to out rent your house and to find a flat you can rent to explore other areas..

I really feel for you having lived next door to children who kicked balls against the side of my house...

I think a lot of older people especially if you suffer from nerves or mental health issues should consider living in older peoples complexes/ areas because if you live in mixed aged areas you are going to encounter babies / kids/ teens and there is going to be lots of noise, laughter and squabbling in the evenings weekends and school holidays this doesn’t mean I don’t feel for you Kiri it’s a mix that isn’t working for you because of your condition

I used to have a number of kids live either side of me (8
kids one side and 5 the other and a few more down the street) and on the whole I liked hearing them out playing but then I don’t suffer any anxieties The football used to come over numerous times but I told them never to knock after 7 and they didn’t
I also remember when I was a kid about 8/9 we used to play out and do handstands up against the end house wall until they came out and told us off we d wait a bit or till the next day and do it again it must have been so irritating for them hearing these feet bump bump on their wall but we were just kids and meant no harm
If the kids play out at the back spend more time in the front or vice versa and put your own music or TV on so it shuts the kids noise out, because it’s irritating you it is sounding louder and worse than maybe it is, because you are so focused on it
Can you find some relaxation methods including headphones playing your own music, go out and about when the weathers nice. Try to stop thinking about it . The more you dread it the worse it will be
When my Dad was quite old the people next door got a dog and left it alone, it barked all day long nearly sent my poor Dad round the bend

Could you move house Kiri?
If you don’t own the house and not privately rented ask the Council to house you in a quieter location?

Kids do scream these days, particularly girls instead of merely shouting.

I think I would rather hear kids than barking dogs. We have lived down here for 30 years and love the peace and quiet.

About a month ago a neighbour acquired a German Shepherd X and they go out in the evenings and leave it barking for hours in the garden.

That is awful Promrose53. Noisy children playing is ‘normal’. Is the dog a pup or adult? It’s only been with them a short time and will be unsettled being abandoned outside. Have you told them it’s barking -I’m trying to avoid being over critical, maybe if they knew they’d leave the dog indoors.
But -it’s not a good start. Shepherds are very loyal to their people and an intelligent sensitive breed.
Can you go and see them? If it continues RSPCA - dog warden?

At my previous address the elderly lady next door had her grandson bringing all his noisy mates round every day in the school hols. One day she'd had enough and I heard her quizzing "the tribe" as to why they ALWAYS came round to our cul-de-sac and unbelievably she was told "mum said to come round here because she can't hear the telly......"
Priceless!

I do sympathise, I live in a cul-de-sac and experience similar noise in the daytime. I personally can cope with that, it’s when they are still out at 11.30 in the evening shouting and screaming that I really struggle. I can’t understand why their parents would let them be out at that time of night.

Kiri, I don't see how anywhere can actually be "classed" as a quiet area. Not unless you've perhaps bought a retirement home in an age restricted community. Maybe you might consider that if at all practical?

What an horrendous situation.
I know you said you need to stay in the area for various reasons, but there must be neighbourhoods not far away which aren’t blighted with awful feral children, which is what those most certainly are.

You sound desperate. I do hope you manage to get away from these awful families.

But if you move, who knows what other horrors might materialise?

I remember when my children were babies and some older children were constantly screaming their heads off. I wanted to explain to them that if they were ever really in trouble and screamed, no-one would come to help because they would assume they were just “having fun”. I would never intervene now, as shrieking and screaming is just so normal. Of course we screamed as children, but in appropriate settings eg rollercoasters and horror films!!

I'm another who would look for a retirement community of some sort.
Thinking of you.

Also, I'd contact the local PCSO for "advice" and ask them what you/they can do to help.
They may have no ideas - but years ago, in my area an anti-social problem was alleviated by the PCSO who spent time on an issue and was surprisingly successful.
🤞

I think if you try you can block the noise out, BUT the problem is because you are so affected by it you are unknowingly concentrating on it and this is the whole essence of anxiety
What we are anxious about, we hone in on and it becomes all consuming, the more you dread it or are afraid of it, the worse it becomes. This happens with all anxieties think about a fear of spiders, you rev yourself up, then see a spider, then your panic increases, so the next time you see one your anxiety is already doubled then you start looking everywhere for them until even pictures of one, can affect you You are constantly, daily in your case reinforcing the fear until it becomes all consuming
But
You can work on this yourself or you can get outside help counselling or hypnotism but at the moment you are in your own ‘home made panic zone’ and it will only get worse if you don’t take some actions

You can’t stop all these children playing out You can move but you could move to another problem or you could stop, take a breathe, and get help or learn ways to help yourself.
Good luck panic is not easy to be rid of

What a nightmare
Thankfully most of the time the children near us are fairly well behaved and go indoors at a reasonable time.
As for our immediate neighbours (like us in their 60s), now that's quite unbelievable at times. Like last weekend, playing loud music in the garden till early hours, he was so drunk he was falling off garden chair and literally couldn't get up.
I just don't understand other people's total lack of consideration for their neighbours, you have my sympathy.
Maybe looking into retirement complex would be an idea
Thinking of you xx

I feel for you .

So true BlueBelle
Your brain is "seeking out" problems.

Kiri

There are 3 separate families in my neighbourhood and my neighbourhood is classed as a quiet road, but unfortunately there are 3 houses which have 3 to 4 children each and the parents do not care how they are raised. The parents obviously get bored of them or can't be bothered to look after them and they send them out in the road and it would be ok if they played nicely, but they do not and they scream and fight all day and I am not exaggerating. It will be from 8am to 9pm, the ages range from 5 to 13 with no supervision for the young ones. We live near many parks as this is a small suburban town in Hertfordshire and the parents cannot be bothered to take them to any of these places, even though they are free, so that they can play and have fun. They are also not the type of people you can speak to in a diplomatic way, you will just get sworn at or abused. What is also bad is that they do not play outside their own homes but outside our homes. I suffer from anxiety and depression and I dread next week. I could easily just end it as I cannot cope, even though I am taking medication. I know to some people who do not suffer from depression and anxiety would probably think just get on with it, but it is easily said than done.

We have many children in our street, pre-school and school age going from 5 to 14 years of age and even in the holidays, we never see them or hear them, sad really.

We used to love to hear the children playing, laughing and having fun (no football was allowed on the street though) when we were young parents in the 70's.

When I first moved to Manchester to go to uni I lived on one of the toughest estates in the city (now demolished). The problem was not children but people putting speakers out on the decks and broadcasting their so-called "music" to the world in general. Every weekend there would be shabeens (pay to enter parties) which sometimes went on for 24 hours.

So how did I manage to study?

I used wax ear plugs and music of my own that was loud enough to drown out what was happening outside. Once the racket outside was covered I could easily disattend my own music/noise because it was under my direct control.

When I work on the computer now I often stream music through headphones so that I remain entirely unaware of what may be happening outside. Such as my neighbours grandkids playing football in the garden. I often use Indian or mid eastern music because I dont have a clue what they are singing about. Its just noise.

So make some noise of your own to drown out the rest of the world. You will be surprised how quickly you get used to it.

Kiri

I feel so sorry for you. I have had similar in the past but it was mostly a football being kicked in the street, hitting my windows, car etc with the accompanying shouts and screams. I used to pray for rain and dread the light nights as it would continue until 10pm and beyond.

I remember my Dad opening the window and ordering me to stop squealing and shouting when I was playing with a friend in the garden. We were rolling down the front garden path on some contraption made with a roller skate. I can remember him saying “it’s Sunday afternoon, people are trying to relax”.

I’ll be honest, I have always been conscious of my children making too much noise when young. However, for most people these days consideration for others isn’t high on their list of priorities.

As advised upthread, some noise cancelling headphones are a good idea, enabling you to read a book or magazine and sit in your garden.

I wish you all the best as I know how such noise can have a debilitating effect on one’s health.