Visitors popping in on off chance.

If close family pop in without notice I don't mind, because there's an understanding that they take us as they find us.

With anyone else, I really don't like it. I find it an invasion of my privacy. If they're in the area or just want to call in, it's fine, but I'd rather they let me know beforehand. Even a few minutes' notice is fine.

In the past, I've asked one or two people to give me a bit of notice before coming round and they've ignored that and kept turning up at inconvenient times. They've even criticised me to other people for asking them to give me a bit of notice they're coming!

When I was young, my parents didn't seem to mind when people turned up at the house without notice, but I remember some awkward moments, with their friends not even ringing the doorball and walking right into the middle of a major family disagreement.

In theory I dislike people just popping in but in reality I don’t mind at all! I’m reasonably tidy and always dressed before I come downstairs so that’s not an issue. If the house is dusty or I’m in the middle of preparing/eating a meal then it is what it is. I’d only worry if I didn’t have a biscuit to offer them!

I loathe it and most people I know wouldn’t do it. Years ago when the children were small quite a few people used to call round first thing in the morning and especially on Sunday morning with their kids. I would smile and put up with it. (Usually in my dressing gown). Now I realise it was to get out of the way of whoever was cooking the dinner etc. 😡😡

I now tell my friends I am available anytime after 1pm. 🤣

I am sorry to read how many of you dislike uninvited guests.
It's made me feel that I shouldn't knock on someone's door if I'm passing.
There was once I used to be annoyed when I was working from home on a Wednesday and a woman I knew made a point of calling that day because she knew I'd be home.
She didn't appreciate that my work was important. That wouldn't happen now that we all know about working from home.

Gummie

I love it when people pop by unannounced but it rarely happens these day. When I was younger it was normal. Most of us didn't have phones.

Friends don't expect to be entertained and my home isn't a palace so happy to have a friend to chat to or join me in whatever I'm doing.

👏👏👏👏👏👏

I lived alone although not lonely for twenty years of my life( demanding job, good social life) but if my friends and relatives had not "popped in " , physically, or telephoned (on landline) , sometimes at inconvenient times , then I wouldn't have had much of a life at all. We made arrangements in advance to meet as well of course but the tapestry was varied.
I was always glad to see my friends.
Everyone seems more demanding these days. It must be a text not a phone call/ you may_ never_ phone on the offchance ........
I think people are a bit spoilt these days. I suppose many people have never lived alone and so may take company for granted.

I don't think anyone should feel like they can't see friends... But a quick text would be great "I'm passing, are you free?"

For me that would give me time to locate that one comfortable bra I own and do this morning's washing up lol

No I hate it it’s one of the reasons we left our home town. Parents, siblings, friends and neighbours calling in all hours.
We moved five mile away, now we get a text first. Much better.

Apart from Adult children and their families of course, their welcome anytime day or night.

My MiL used to love dropping in on people and dragging us with her. We once dropped in on a teacher who had taught my DH. He wasn’t in but when his wife went off to make us tea my MiL realised she had got the wrong house!

My kids can pop in. Everyone else needs to make arrangements.

One of my mother's old friends used to visit my father on the same day every week just as we'd sat down to lunch .
I'd offer her some .
She'd refuse and drink tea .
She used to try to cause disagreements between us .
She also would gossip and disapprove of her other friends .
I discovered that she had a visit planned for every day of the week with a rigid inflexible timetable.
One day , she complained that so and so was moving so that's my Wednesday slot gone so it means that the heating has to go on .
Her husband was very rude and unpleasant .
On one occasion he ruined our evening out .
Finally when she made my father cry I decided that enough was enough .
And no more visits .

We didn't miss her .
I'm friends with one of old friends and she also had the same experience.

When our two eldest children were little, we often would drive to see my mum's sister and her husband. They had no children of their own, and I did so love my aunt Win. She was such a gentle soul, but it would upset her that she hadn't had time to 'tidy up'. There was nothing to tidy, and I always used to say, we came to see you, not the house.
But now, after all these years, I am feeling guilty that perhaps she didn't want unexpected visitors at all. Knowing her though, she would never have put off a visitor.

I don’t mind at all, but I quite often get phone messages after somebody has tried, as because I’m in the garden I don’t hear them - and they don’t think to come to the back gate to see if I’m there.

I'm somewhat shocked/saddened by those of you who require notice of a friend
/family visit. Whatever happened to good old hospitality? Obviously if one has a previous engagement arranged then that cannot be broken but otherwise I can 't see a single reason for not downing 'tools' and being sociable and a kind hostess for a short spell. Sure, it's sometimes 'inconvenient' but what's a little inconvenience in the grand scheme of things? Sad really........

dragonfly46

My MiL used to love dropping in on people and dragging us with her. We once dropped in on a teacher who had taught my DH. He wasn’t in but when his wife went off to make us tea my MiL realised she had got the wrong house!

Very funny !!

Prefer a text or a call but main family can come anytime.

mrsba

I'm an untidy madame! so prefer notice of visits so I can tidy up, I feel more relaxed to enjoy the company, rather than worrying about the dust/doghairs and books and magazines all over the place!

Me too!

Kim19

I'm somewhat shocked/saddened by those of you who require notice of a friend
/family visit. Whatever happened to good old hospitality? Obviously if one has a previous engagement arranged then that cannot be broken but otherwise I can 't see a single reason for not downing 'tools' and being sociable and a kind hostess for a short spell. Sure, it's sometimes 'inconvenient' but what's a little inconvenience in the grand scheme of things? Sad really........

Good point Kim - and some people complain of loneliness.

Can’t have it both ways

There’s hospitality and there are unreasonable expectations… maybe I have known too many ‘bad go-ers’?!?

I have memories from my childhood of the doorbell ringing unexpectedly, and one of us going to answer it while the rest frantically tidied up the sitting room.

I would not dream of calling on someone without making an up front arrangement. With todays technology there is no excuse.

Unexpected callers get to stand outside my house and ring the bell. Its motion activated and will alert me even if they dont press the buzzer. The only time it gets answered is the postie/courier and the guy who delivers my medication. Everyone else, including the king, can bugger off if they come without an appointment. Mostly I can tell when packages are coming and Im out to meet them before they get out of their van.

I have a very stern notice on my door to this effect so no cold callers/religious/sales/ political etc. They occasionally still try and get ignored. If I do answer I tell them I am on the phone and away in Liverpool visiting family. Thats the great thing about these little mobile devices.

"Your breaking up. I cant hear you!"

A couple of times in the past some bl***y neighbour has ambushed me in the garden when I only went out to put something in the bin. Now I wait til after dark to do it, They probably think Im a vampire. Hahaha

Yes I am very anti social but I run a business not a lonely hearts bureau.

I love people dropping in , I never have minded , but the kids remember me hiding the papers and other rubbish under the sofa !

I'm not keen on ad hoc visits. To be honest, I haven't been keen on them since I was much younger. I still work full time so that perhaps has a bearing on it but only to a degree.

By contrast when I was younger I often used to gatecrash social occasions and turn up in places where I was not specifically invited. Even as a mature student at uni I did it - pushed myself into all the occasions where it was postgrads and lecturers. When you are in your 40s you dont want to go to undergraduate parties. Nowadays Im not interested in social events,

I'm not at all keen on people dropping in. It's thoughtless. I don't do it to others and don't like it done to me.
(This does not apply to children and grandchildren of course).