Regarding retirement flats per se, I do remember when my late mother became widowed, she very much wanted to sell the house and move to one and asked me to help her in that. We found a lovely block, literally opposite the sea. The maintenance charges were hefty. To an extent, I can see where the money was spent. A house manager who lived on the premises and available a lot of the time, the common parts were of a high standard, anything that wore out was replaced, a lift of course that had to be maintained, and was. Surely a new one would come out of maintenance charges Alanav, I seem to remember there was some sort of "sinking fund" in the accounts.. Having said that there were a lot of gripes about the actual management company. My mum warned me, as advised by her solicitor, when selling the property after she died , they charged £1,000, I can't remember for what exactly, I think it was to transfer over some documents that would relate to the sale, there was other stuff as well they charged way over the top for everything. I think it's become a growing trend for residents to cut out the middle man and organise their own management, good for them, but I imagine at times that could be time consuming. However, at the time of purchase, as far as I was concerned I wanted my mother to be happy, and it proved to be the right move for her, she felt secure, which she didn't in the house, I did tell her, "how you spend your money is your choice, don't worry about ramifications of a sale when you're are no longer here".
I sympathise with your OP, nevertheless I do think people who don't have enough funds to purchase their own property should be offered apartments in old age that are subsidised by the state and are as good a standard, although your friend's sounds quite superior in what it provides.