I used to be indecisive but now I’m not so sure

I’ve always been indecisive about what to wear and will usually go through several options before selecting the one I want.

Then MrOops will look at me and ask me ‘ is that what you are wearing?’ Obviously not. So back I go and change.

Usually I would have looked fine in my choice.

Do you really need a second opinion or are you just missing the human contact?

Maybe (in the outfits case) try your outfits on and talk to yourself about them... 'this one has a lovely neckline but I don't like the pattern much' ... ' I like the details on the belt with this one but is it too tight for a big meal?' Etc.

Perhaps speaking your thoughts aloud will help with choices.
I suspect you were on autopilot before.


You could try this with holidays, buying a kettle, whatever.
Keeping my fingers crossed for you.

I think finding wasy to move forward after the death of a husband is tough.
Hopefully someone else will come along with ideas soon..

I agree.
And since being scammed of my life savings since widowhood, living on my pension, I have lost all my assertiveness, my self-assurance and feel extremely vulnerable and stupid.

GM
That was unforgivable by the scammers, clearly the repercussions go way beyond the money loss although that is bad enough.

Itwas. But never having been especially self-assured, it is now nil. 🙁

GM those B scammers are so clever at what they do. Losing the money is bad enough but don’t go on beating yourself up about it. They were the ones to blame.

I’ve been a widow for many years and used to taking decisions but now I find myself dithering and having to consult my dd. I think having one health problem after another has contributed to this. I’m going to try NotSpaghetti’s suggestion.

I'm so sorry you were scammed grandMattie. That's terrible but please don't think you are stupid. I was scammed last year, although not for as big as an amount as you. It was still several hundred pounds though. I used to work in finance too but these scammers are clever. (Sorry to derail the thread)

My DD2 is so indecisive and is a single mum now. I’m always being messaged or phoned about what she should wear or do, she was in contact again this morning. I do hope she finds a new man one day who will be supportive and help her to make decisions. In the workplace she has no problems but just just personal things

I’m also sorry GM I do hope you get something back eventually and please don’t let them awful scammers take away your confidence 💐

I used to use gransnet as a sounding board, when I needed sensible opinions.
Not now, though.

Very sorry to hear that GM but please don't feel stupid it could happen to any of us, the number of times I've almost clicked on something or started to answer a phone call and only just stopped in time. If all of the scammers put their minds to something legal then the world would be in a better state.

I too miss having a person to discuss looming expenditure with and so on, but I find some things much easier as a widow.

Not many, and not the things I might have expected.

On Monday evening, due to a traffic diversion I missed the turning I needed in the dark and found myself forced to walk, pushing my bike, as the lane I was in was too dark, rough and unknown to me for me to risk cycling with only my bike head lamp to shed any light.

Finished up on the wrong side of the Danish-German border seem from the point of where I actually live, fortunately recognised the village I found myself in, and walked or rode 8 km home along unlighted roads, and in places, untarmaced ditto.

Got home nearly two hours later than I should have, and it was a relief that DH was not sitting worried out of his mind.

During the trip home, that thought had kept me going - not that I don¨t nmiss him, I do, but he would have been out of his mind worrying, if he had still been alive.

If my husband says "Is that what you are wearing?" Oops he is just joking. Or I hope he is!! Maybe MrOops is joking too?

Not so much indecisive as lacking in the will to initiate anything. Not at all the person I used to be.

Ditto GrannySomerset

My biggest indecisions are restaurants with huge menus, it always seems that I want too many things that are on the menu.

GrannySomerset

Not so much indecisive as lacking in the will to initiate anything. Not at all the person I used to be.

Yes, you and me both.

I'm happy with all my decsions since being widowed and before that too.

I've been dithering about what new car to get. What type? Manual or automatic? I used to be fairly decisive but DH was much more so. Now I find any decision difficult.
💐 for grandMattie. Such an awful thing to happen.

I have a DH who is a ditherer, always needing a third or fourth opinion, so I make the decisions then tell him what ‘we’ have decided. 😂

Was single until I married at 51 always been decisive and now I'm on my own again I still am

I always do a mannequin parade before ‘dressing up’, trying on various possibilities before deciding then change my mind at the 11th hour.
I dither about menu choices, but I always have. Whatever I choose is always less appetising than whatever my companions have chosen 🙄.
Since being widowed I have coped, admirably I think, with most things, but recently I had a huge carry-on with British Gas which went on for months coinciding with being very unwell followed by a big op, which reduced me to a quivering, angry wreck. DD3 took over. She found it unbelievably difficult to resolve the problem but managed eventually.
(I’ve now moved to Octopus and 2 fingers up to BG 🤣)

Deciding about clothes isn’t a problem, but deciding on things that need to be done in the house is difficult. The worse thing is deciding whether to go shopping (for anything) or just order online! Can I be bothered to drive to the shops? Or just go online? Takes me ages to decide!

grandMattie

I agree.
And since being scammed of my life savings since widowhood, living on my pension, I have lost all my assertiveness, my self-assurance and feel extremely vulnerable and stupid.

😮
I'm sorry to hear that GrandMattie.
You're not stupid, vulnerable perhaps but they are complete 🤬

Yes, I'm a bit of a ditherer, it's just that I want to get things right.