When did 'Passing' become the new word for died????

The use of ‘passed’ at a time when belief in an afterlife is increasingly decried seems strange

Yes, it does. Where do all these non believers think they ‘pass to’ exactly?

I attended a humanist funeral where it was very obvious religion didn’t come into it. Fair enough, but the coffin had yellow ribbons tied onto it. The celebrant informed us this was because when the couple went on holiday, they tied these ribbons onto the case to make them stand out on the carousel. Therefore, when ‘Fred’, in due course, went on his way to meet ‘’Mary’, they would be able to spot each other.

But seeing as neither of them believed there was any sort of afterlife, how would that happen?

Perhaps we all hope that somehow, there is something else awaiting us eventually.

I’ve seen a different term used in America - ‘Joe Bloggs peacefully transitioned on x/x/x.’ That seems very odd.

You can pass from a state of being, to a state of not being.

eazybee

I believe families of murder victims do not like the term 'he lost his life'; one mother said 'he did not lose his life, it was taken away from him,' Dreadfully true.
'Passed' to me indicates the deceased has gone from one sphere to another; the awful fact about death is that it is final. The use of 'passed' at a time when belief in an afterlife is increasingly decried seems strange.

If we had a murder in our family. I would describe the person as having been 'murdered', killed or being 'dead'. I would never describe them as having 'lost their life.

In fact when I speak o fthe war dead in my family I describe them as dying or being killed, I do not talk about loss of life even then.

'Loss of life' to me means an accident, though even then I think I would still say died/dead. I aways say that my sister died in a road accident.

henetha

Perhaps some people just find it easier, on themselves or others, to avoid the word died. I think whatever people can cope with is fine, especially if it somehow makes them feel better.

Yes.

I do rather like some of the very old expressions - e.g. so and so was ‘gathered to his fathers’ - or ‘departed this life’ - not that I’d ever dream of using them, it goes without saying.

I dislike most euphemisms. People die, they don’t pass away or pass. I particularly dislike the ubiquitous bathroom or toilet for lavatory - though actually lavatory is also a euphemism, meaning washroom.

People are going for a pee, though, not to have a wash.

Why does it matter to anyone else other person. If that person chooses to use what word they like why should others dictate what should be said. Do we have to reform to what others feel is right (or wrong)

I do say my dh died, but if someone said there person had passed I would know what they meant. I would not be thinking ohh they have just passed by the house, or they have passed a parcel to me , common sense would make me realise they had died.

Let people choose what word "they want" at the worse time in their life. They may not even be able to use the word "died".

A friend's son committed suicide, and she wrote in his obituary notice that he had "freed himself in his own way". I thought that was a very moving phrase.

Lost sounds really careless .......

Clawdy, as that phrase was used in an obituary notice, there was no ambiguity, and added an explanation in a moving way, I agree.
It is when the words ‘gone’ or ‘passed’ or ‘lost’ are used without a clear context that embarrassing conversations can happen.

My husband died last year, and I would not use any other word.

Lost down the back of the sofa, passed wind - all common mistakes to make, I suppose, apparently.

I'm pretty sure people who watched my daughters ten year battle, think I'm going to inform them she farted when they ask after her.

I get cross when someone says so sorry you have lost your husband. No! I’ve not mislaid him somewhere. He’s not gone missing in M and S. He’s dead. That’s just a fact. I know they mean well but I do find it upsetting. I don’t like the term passed either.

I’m pretty sure this is a really old phrase “passing over into the next life”

Some people use “passed away” out of respect, for some the term “died” is a bit blunt and final.

I just think whatever floats your boat is ok with me.

It's a pretty blunt word to use whe someone is kindly enquiring, too.

If someone really has no idea, it feels a bit like hitting them with a club to say "dead" sometimes.

wendyann23

I get cross when someone says so sorry you have lost your husband. No! I’ve not mislaid him somewhere. He’s not gone missing in M and S. He’s dead. That’s just a fact. I know they mean well but I do find it upsetting. I don’t like the term passed either.

I wouldn’t say I got cross, but I’m tempted to say that I didn’t lose him, I know exactly where I put him, but that would be a bit insensitive.
When I worked in a hospice, one of the doctors always said someone was ‘away up’, and we tend to use that in our family.

Anniebach, I laughed at that.

I'm afraid I got the 'giggles' when someone at a meeting said they had lost their mother.
Still feel guilty years later.

Sorry for your loss is the accepted condolence. We also say eg She lost her husband last year. So losing is a thing. I don't mind passed away, as someone said a peaceful end. Passed on its own not so.much.

Worlds first problems eh?
Does it really matter what term people use - surely its what they are comfortable saying.
My wife died in July and my daughter died in August so it is all very raw for me but I have had every term thrown at me in the last few months. I dont get bent out of shape over it. I may use whatever terminolgy depending on the audience.

Surely it’s up to each person as to what they feel comfortable with saying! Personally I say died but I’m not bothered by the terms that others use.

So sorry for your losses LisaP

Many years ago my 13 year old son sadly died of cancer. In those days we had a child allowance book so I had to take it to the benefits office to inform them of his death and to hand it in. The woman I spoke to there, took the book from me put two large lines across the front of the book and then wrote ‘dead’ in large letters on it whilst I was standing there in front of her. It completely traumatised me and I still, 30+ years later prefer to say he has passed away. Definitely not lost though! I don’t like that as I know what has happened to him!

Passed is on the same level as The big C to me. People die and get cancer, and please don't say your pet has gone over the rainbow bridge..