When did 'Passing' become the new word for died????

LisaP

Worlds first problems eh?
Does it really matter what term people use - surely its what they are comfortable saying.
My wife died in July and my daughter died in August so it is all very raw for me but I have had every term thrown at me in the last few months. I dont get bent out of shape over it. I may use whatever terminolgy depending on the audience.

Who cares?
What skin is it off anyone else's nose?

I say died when speaking about someones death but when I am writing on forums I write passed away, I have no idea why, it is just something I do, but the comments have made me think twice about it.

I'm afraid passed makes me squirm too. My children and their partners all use it and I was accused by my daughter of being aggressive when I used the word died!
But die we do and that's what I will keep saying because the P word is so flipping twee!

This is such an interesting thread and I agree with most of it.
However, I can't agree with the problem some have with the term 'lost', it doesn't mean mislaid as some seem to think, it refers to the loss of someone or something important to you. The loss of love, companionship etc.

I can't say it bothers me. I feel in the early stages of grief it is easier for people to say 'passed away'. Eventually, as they come to terms with their loss and begin to accept it they often feel able to say someone died.

People must have a very poor grasp of things if their imagination can't stretch to more than misplacing someone.

It makes me squirm to see how crass some people are about someone else's bereavement.

I think many of these responses show a lack of empathy for the people using the term 'passed away'. My DH passed away just over 2 years ago and I still cannot bring myself to say anything else. The alternative sounds, to me, so brutal and harsh and I just cannot say the words.
I fail to see why anybody should be so incensed by the term that they choose to comment on it. What about a little more tolerance???

We met some friends the other day and they said ‘have you heard we’ve lost …..?”
Husband replied that we haven’t lost him, he died

It seems to have crossed the Atlantic a few years ago and is rapidly gathering pace here, unfortunately. I don't understand why euphemisms are necessary anyway. Death is as much a fact of life as birth. I am with Oscar Wilde on his ideas of losing a person. This expression, often by a plump, middle aged man with hushed tones saying "of course we lost Mother last year," always makes me think "how very careless of you." As a Christian, the one alternative to died that I rather like is the Salvationist Promoted to Glory.

I used to wear all black when staying in Cyprus snd was learning a bit of the language.
I’d just learnt how to say “I’ve lost my husband” and wondered why I was getting sympathetic looks from shop staff when I couldn’t find him, I thought they were overreacting then realised they thought I’d meant he’d died. 🙄

Yes, I hate it too and always say died. It's so twee.

knspol

I think many of these responses show a lack of empathy for the people using the term 'passed away'. My DH passed away just over 2 years ago and I still cannot bring myself to say anything else. The alternative sounds, to me, so brutal and harsh and I just cannot say the words.
I fail to see why anybody should be so incensed by the term that they choose to comment on it. What about a little more tolerance???

Until fairly recently, I thought it was 'past' rather than 'passed' and in some ways it was quite appropriate with that spelling.

Some years ago I went to A@E with severe asthma, at midnight. My husband took me, although I sent him home as I didn’t know how long I’d be lying there on oxygen. I was transferred to another hospital by ambulance about 3am as they had a bed. First thing in the morning DH rocks up to A@E where he left me.
“Sorry to bother you, but I’ve lost my wife?”
“Oh dear, I’m so sorry”.
“No, I don’t know where she is.”
He eventually tracked me down.

Why get so upset over a word? As someone who believes that we do not cease to exist when we die I prefer the term 'passed' because it implies a move towards a different way of being. Anyone who is so in thrall to the limitations of materialist 'science' can believe what they like, but I feel sorry for those who think death is the end, and I think that way of looking at things is responsible for a lot of the depression and hopelessness that is rife these days. What arrogance to think we know there is nothing after death! The electromagnetic spectrum is less than 1% of the energy in the Universe and we only see a fraction of that. In terms of existence as a whole we, in our 'physical' state are just little blind mice. So I'm going to 'pass on' eventually, to something else, thank you very much!

Fight it!
I’ll accept ‘passed away’ from those with religious beliefs but ‘passing’, ‘passed’, ‘restroom’ are US imports to be resisted.
Coming shortly to a sports ground near you: ‘bleachers’. No, I didn’t either but I looked it up.

I don't believe people are upset, at all.
It's a personal preference, and a sly way of mocking people, when they start with the "clever" comments.

I have never said 'passed' in my life..I have always said ......has died.

Why oh why mock and criticise anyone who chooses to speak of death as passing, grief is so personal

NotSpaghetti

Yes, maybe, Witzend - "passed away" is a gentle sort of death I suppose

Well, a gentler form of announcing a death anyway.
Saying
‘ passed away’ is quite old I think, the US form of it, saying ‘passed’ is also old but has now gravitated to the UK.

Anniebach

Why oh why mock and criticise anyone who chooses to speak of death as passing, grief is so personal

👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻

Yes, atoms remain after someone dies and are incorporated into the environment and other living beings:

Rearrangement
When someone dies, their atoms are rearranged into less ordered ways, which is called decay and entropy.

Incorporation
The atoms of a deceased person become part of the environment and are eventually incorporated into other living beings.

Diffusion
The atoms spread out and diffuse through the atmosphere, soil, and water.

Absorption
Light-utilizing organisms absorb the atoms and transform them into tissues, leaves, and tubules.

Incorporation into living beings
Oxygen creatures breathe in the atoms and incorporate them into their organs and bones. Pregnant women may also eat the atoms, and babies may contain them.

The law of conservation of matter states that matter cannot be created or destroyed, so all of a person's atoms must still be around after they die.

Proof enough of passing away for me.

knspol

I think many of these responses show a lack of empathy for the people using the term 'passed away'. My DH passed away just over 2 years ago and I still cannot bring myself to say anything else. The alternative sounds, to me, so brutal and harsh and I just cannot say the words.
I fail to see why anybody should be so incensed by the term that they choose to comment on it. What about a little more tolerance???

I'm sorry of your loss and understand.

Accepting others is Kindness -- sprinkle kindness everywhere.

Anniebach

Yes you will be dead so don’t try to control

I like that, Anniebach.