Care home thoughts

My aunt is just about to be discharged from hospital. She lives alone and is a worrier. I think a care home would be perfect for her, but it is her choice to make

It is wonderful that this 92 year old Lady has settled in well and is enjoying life in what sounds like a lovely care home. Sadly they are not all as good as this so it is definitely worth looking around before making a decision.

My friend has recently moved into a care home and I find the whole setup diabolical. Mind you, she's not at all well and I feel she would be better served in a nursing home. However, I'm only a friend and it is a family matter so I'm making the best I can of the situation.

Care homes are really not all terrible places.

Communal living isn't going to suit everyone, but they can be exactly what's needed for some people.

It’s fitting the right person into the right care home.People vary just as much as care homes do.
You need to view the care home and watch the residents before giving up the family home.
Some elderly people settle quickly and some never do.

It's also about treating each person as an individual, within the home, which is harder than it sounds.

Good posts Oreo and MissAdventure

My own dear aunt was so set against a care home until she has no choice while rehabbing from
A hip injury. She too just thrived. She had been so lonely for so long, even with regular pop ins and family visits and she hadn’t even realized how stressful keeping up the home and meals had become. She made good friends with some of the other residents and was able to worry less and as a result I think lived longer

We are in the process of viewing and deciding on a care home for my 92 year old mum.

Thank you for the posts about relatives/friends who have thrived on moving into care.I so hope that will be the case for my mum.

I hope you can find a good one. I always look beyond the fabric ie the furnishings etc. What matters to me is a feeling of homeliness, good food, company and kind carers.

One of my neighbours used to run a well-regarded care home.
She said that most old people are very reluctant to leave their homes, but once settled into the care home, they are nearly always glad to be there. And with good food, their health improves too.

My mum who is a lot younger went into a care home earlier this year. She loves it. Nice staff, lots of people to chat to, activities and help whenever she needs it.

She went into this for respite care and got lucky with the one she went to. She has looked at others since to be nearer my sister but they weren't the right choice.

My late MIL was initially unhappy in her care home. Her daughter asked for a meeting with the manager and told her what was important to her mum. For example she liked strong tea with only a little milk. Also she was very particular about what she wore. The cardigan had to match the blouse etc. She liked to wear make up and have her hair done regularly. The staff tried so hard to help and within days she had happily settled in. She remained there contentedly until she died. For some people it’s so important to be treated as an individual.

Thank you Aveline.

My experience of visiting cares home isn’t too great. Most are smelly and terrible it’s best to visit one before committing to going into any care home to feel the ambience first and to decide if it’s for you or your family member. Good luck in choosing one and don’t always rely on any inspection report

I think if you’re posting on gransnet then you’re probably not ready for a care home.

Would you consider a retirement village?

I am looking for a care home for my 92 year old mum not for myself!

One of my mother's neighbours told me that, if my mother ever needed to go into a home, to go and see her. It turned out that she is a hairdresser who goes to care homes. She recommended one and it turned out to be very good.
I had to sell Mum's house to fund it and found it disgraceful that we paid more than the council (taxpayer) did for people who did not have funds.

Yes, always a good idea to ask people who go into care homes as part of their job. When my mum had to go in, the shop that had provided her with mobility aids gave good advice.

The simple fact is that homes vary enormously. Part of my social work job involved finding places for elderly people leaving hospital. And more recently I was involved in finding somewhere suitable for my late OH.
Some are excellent, some not. One left me weeping in the car park after looking at it for OH.
Just as homes are different, so individuals have different needs and preferences and it is good to list these.
For example my priorities would be lots of light, a view, a garden, no musak, privacy, wi-fi etc... even before mentioning the basics of respect, dignity etc.
I have seen many people thrive after entering a care home ... shed all their worries, make new friends (sadly briefly as they have a tendency to die off!), become healthier. It is all about shopping around and finding the right one. The seemingly small things really do matter, e.g. the way you like your tea, as mentioned above.

The one near us is great. The gardens are fabulous and every window has a lovely view. The food is very good and residents can request anything they fancy if it's not on the menu. Very comfortable and absolutely no question of a bad smell.
I want to put my name down for it!

My mum spent the last year of her life in a very nice care home.
Everyday I visited and every day she asked me to take her ‘home’. ‘You’ve got a little corner for me , haven’t you?’
It broke my heart!
The carehome was nice with everything she needed but she just wanted to be at ‘home’.

As with most things, it seems you get what you pay for. A relative of mine has recently moved into a wonderful care home - cost is over £2k per WEEK.

My Mum was in a lovely home, she had dementia and thought it was an hotel. It was recommended by the then mental health nurse who was assigned to Mum’s case, she was very helpful and we were lucky they had a room.