My 5 year old grandson doesn’t like me

Children are quick to pick up on disapproval and it’s all too easy for this to turn into a rift. As one respondent said, they grow up very quickly, so it’s important to address this, which you clearly are. Why not seek advice from your daughter about your gs’s likes/dislikes, sensitivities etc. and together work on the best way forward. For instance, you might try fun outings where you set off from her house, so the issue of how he behaves in your home doesn’t come up. This could build trust between you and your gs, and set you on a path to a much better relationship.

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Ruthospouskins my 4 year old grandson was just the same for a few months and then it all changed and he asks to come here and I am picking him up from school today. We made no fuss when he didn't want to come here , I went to his home and for the most part he ignored me so we let him get on with it and now he is a joy to be with .

Eloethan

My grandson doesn't like us much either. That is because when he comes here, I will not allow him to stay on screens the whole day. His parents don't mind so he would rather be with them.

When he has to come here because his parents are going out, I do try and play other games with him and my granddaughter or go out with them to the park or into Central London. He is sulky and miserable at first but usually ends up enjoying it.

But now he stays with his mum and dad at the weekend whereas my granddaughter comes to us because she enjoys going out with me or doing art projects, etc, etc.

I really don't know what the answer is. In my opinion, technology has had a very detrimental effect on some children.

My youngest grandsons will tell you, ‘ Granny lets us have ‘electronicals’ for a whole hour whenever we want’, and they don’t seem all that bothered, though I’m sure they would use them all day long if I let them! They get their one hour during the day, then a ‘sneaky’ time just before the bedtime story, which at 7 and 8 they still look forward to.

'Consequently when he comes to my house I teach him good manners, politeness and of course show him lots of love' I don't think this is trying to discipline him at all! I'm with you Ruth. It seems like he needs to be taught good manners and politeness. Maybe his Mum and Dad both work and haven't got a lot of time which is where Grandparents come in. Children need boundaries and he will become a better child for it.

I don’t think the OP appreciated some of the replies 😂

I think his manners are your daughter and her husband's responsibility - maybe you could suggest the odd thing to her instead of directly to your Grandson. I think grandchildren just like love, treats and presents! I just remember my Grandmother making a fuss of us which made me happy, being free to enjoy her home and feeling at home there. My Mother used to tell her off for giving us sugar sandwiches ha ha.

Doing “as he pleases” can’t be too terrible at age five, can it? Plenty of time yet to learn to conform to adult expectations, surely?

Our GC cover the age spectrum, some in twenties then an 11 and 6 yr old. Never felt in our job to teach them rules that is their parents job, and to be honest I think my children are stricter than we were as parents. Eldest GC were always taught not to start their meal before everyone was served and ready to eat and always polite with pleases and thankyous, younger ones I do sometimes ask then the ‘magic’ word when giving them something, I have mentioned to son they are a bit lite on the pleases and thankyous sometimes and he agreed. At there home they are only allowed limited screen time but they do have lots of clubs outside of home at weekend which keeps them very busy. Have to say they only live 30/40 mins away but we do not see them often, once or twice about every three months, they see maternal GP more

My big gs i

I have grandchildren living five minutes away who gave up coming to my house during Covid and haven’t come back as they’ve grown into teenagers.
I take cakes round and see them going to school but there’s no closeness despite my having given them ten years of childcare so their parents never had to pay for it.
I am very hurt, I miss them and still love them and just hope that one day they will remember me.

How very sad watermeadow. I hope your relationship with your grandchildren returns to the close one it used to be. I have known a teenage boy who developed an irrational dislike of his grandmother, but when he got older he reverted to his former affectionate self, and they became, and still are, very close. So don’t give up.

I well remember our own children and other parents children.
We had 3 girls all well behaved, my brother had 4 boys totally out of control they were only invited to one birthday party, never again.

40+ years later, the girls are still polite, the boys are still a nightmare as adults