Gransnet forums

Chat

Do you sometimes feel you are doing too much?

(28 Posts)
nanna8 Sat 30-Nov-24 05:57:17

This last week we have been more or less isolating ready to go on holiday overseas. We didn’t want to get sick before we go and there are a lot of various nasty bugs around just now. I have actually felt really relaxed and happy, no time pressures to meet anyone or attend social functions. Usually I have some sort of social event or meeting nearly every day which I always enjoy when I get there but I’m now thinking of seriously cutting back. I love meeting people but sometimes I just feel like my own company with no social pressure. I run a group regularly which is fine because at least I have to tidy the house! I am also President of a fairly large organisation but they will cope just fine without me , I am sure. Anyway, those are my thoughts for today !

argymargy Sat 30-Nov-24 07:23:41

Yes! I have belatedly learned that if I put too much in my diary I get very stressed and don’t enjoy anything. I’m a social introvert - I love being with family and friends but need time to myself to recharge. Fortunately I live on my own!

Gingster Sat 30-Nov-24 07:30:24

I felt like that during Lockdown nanna8.
I’m usually very busy one way or another, enjoying my various clubs and meeting friends , but the rest and relaxation during lockdown was wonderful. The weather helped of course and we were at our holiday home by the sea. No pressure, no rushing around and enjoying each others company.

Whiff Sat 30-Nov-24 07:46:47

I know I over do things as my body lets me know . But I live my life to the full the last 5 years before my move here I didn't have a life . I existed . My husband died in 2004 and my home in a breath became a house . While grieving I had children at home plus looking after both parents and mother in law. Children left like I wanted them to do . But I couldn't abandon those who depended on me. And I paid a heavy price for that healthwise but I would do it all again as I am the same person.

Moving here 5 years ago I have a life back and found me again . And doing all the things I had wanted to for years. Yes I overdo it but I am doing things I love . My life has changed so much . Better healthcare has meant I finally know 2 things I was born with plus just had another diagnosis of something else wrong . But I can life with it . Being disabled doesn't mean incapable or not doing things I want to do.

There will come a time when I can't do what I want . But until then I keep pushing myself . And loving my life now and living it to the full. And not just existing as I did .

Marydoll Sat 30-Nov-24 08:28:44

I always do to much, against medical advice, like Whiff, I want to live life to the full and seize every opportunity, while I am able..
This week, I spent two days in bed, because I have over done things.I never learn, despite a lecture from DH on slowing down and pacing myself..

I have a younger friend, with few health issues, who goes nowhere, unless she gets a lift. ( She always does). With no hobbies, she sits watching TV all day. I couldn't bear that way of life.

Iam64 Sat 30-Nov-24 08:32:19

Good question nanna8 and yes, I do feel I’m regularly doing too much.

downtoearth Sat 30-Nov-24 09:01:26

I need to recharge my social battery every week and have the weekend to chill and enjoy my own company, I have just about got the balance right after a long relationship broke down, and on my own after many years ran around to as many social gatherings as I could, then came lockdown, I learnt my own company was nothing to be afraid of, and after began to pace myself.

BevSec Sat 30-Nov-24 09:15:00

Its easy to overfill the week, especially when first retired, but rushing from one thing to another and stressing about being on time eventually became too stressful. I want to get a puppy and have time to enjoy that.

merlotgran Sat 30-Nov-24 09:22:26

Adjusting from rural living to an urban environment after moving three years ago meant joining ‘things’ or I would never have made friends. I soon realised just how much hard work it is. Some of my new friends are hardly ever at home!!

I think I’ve achieved a correct balance now. I like my own company and my home and garden are my sanctuary so I make sure my social life is enjoyed at my own pace.

Jeanathome Sat 30-Nov-24 09:23:43

Yes, but my mental health takes a tumble with nothing to do.

nanna8 Sat 30-Nov-24 10:40:41

It’s a fine line, isn’t it ? A friend of my husband says you should never do anything you don’t really want to do once you turn 65. Probably he has a point !

Sago Sat 30-Nov-24 11:35:54

I am busy most days, I find it hard to sit until around 8.00pm.
We still run a business although it’s part time, we have a holiday let so that’s takes up admin time, we go on Monday to do a pre Christmas deep clean.
I make all my own bread, soups etc.

We have just accepted an offer on the sale of our home so if that goes through🤞we will be incredibly busy.
15 years of clutter to sort😱.

Fleurpepper Sat 30-Nov-24 12:00:14

Yes, sometimes. It is also very motivating, varied and interesting. I am glad I have the opportunity to learn new things every day.

As Trustee of 2 Museums, I find that young people just do not have the time, understandably, and the older ones just no longer have the energy. So when things need doing, and all the others fall into the two above categories, I often end up doing whatever needs doing, quite voluntarily. Very satisfying, but sometimes a bit tiring. Learning Italian, U3A and Friends of the Museum Conferences, 2 Cine-Clubs, large house, large garden, lots of visitors, lots of travelling.

I love it- but yes, sometimes think, perhaps a tad too much. Soon to be 74, and a day will come when nature will slow me down.

Cabbie21 Sat 30-Nov-24 13:07:24

It is hard to get the balance right. I have just had a run of days with nothing on, and though I have plenty to do at home, I haven’t done much at all. It seems I need to be busier in order to use my time better, yet if my diary is too full, I feel I definitely need a break to recharge my batteries at home.

FriedGreenTomatoes2 Sat 30-Nov-24 13:15:52

Never. I’m lazy by nature. 😁

FriedGreenTomatoes2 Sat 30-Nov-24 13:19:58

Cabbie21 what’s that saying - “if you want a job doing give it to a busy woman””

AGAA4 Sat 30-Nov-24 16:05:44

Not now. I worked till I was sixty six and did a three hour round trip to look after my GCs till I was seventy three. I don't want commitments now. I like to just breeze along doing this and that and not having to do anything.

AreWeThereYet Sat 30-Nov-24 16:42:40

Sometimes. Especially at this time of year. I know when it's time to ease of because I find I lose interest in things I usually enjoy, which usually means I'm a bit tired.

RosesandLilac Sat 30-Nov-24 16:47:43

Since lockdown I no longer feel I have to do things and I am content to spend most of my time at home or in the garden. I no longer rush around socialising or window shopping or filling my days with activities.
No, I’m not depressed, I’m enjoying my new way f life!

V3ra Sat 30-Nov-24 17:02:24

Some of my new friends are hardly ever at home!!

We've just joined our local U3A and listening to some of the other members, this could describe them.
More worrying is that they are twenty years older than we are! 🤣

Washerwoman Sat 30-Nov-24 17:25:32

I remember the lovely Bob Mortimer on Desert Island Discs saying since his heart op he loves a day full of purposelessness !I can so identify and now hate an overcrowded diary.I'm retired but am still busy helping with various GC,large garden,volunteering and walking dogs etc but absolutely need the odd day or two with absolutely nothing booked in to feel rebalanced.Indeed this Xmas coming DH and I have reduced our social meals out etc.Partly due to the expense but also sometimes less is more.We've several special treats to look forward to but enough time to relax at home.

Jeanathome Sat 30-Nov-24 17:32:17

nanna8

It’s a fine line, isn’t it ? A friend of my husband says you should never do anything you don’t really want to do once you turn 65. Probably he has a point !

I don't want to do some volunteering I've been involved with for years. The other people have " stopped speaking" to me.

Beechnut Sat 30-Nov-24 17:48:23

Never. Apart from appointments I do what I want when I want. I stayed in bed this morning browsing on my iPad.

Jaxjacky Sat 30-Nov-24 18:46:44

I’m being trained by FGT #lazygran

mabon1 Sat 30-Nov-24 18:53:21

I do just what I want to do. I used to be here there and everywhere volunteering but when I reached 70 I decided , no more being secretary or chair anywhere and have kept to it. Now I enjoy my "clubs". It is very difficult to say "no" at first but after once or twice it's easy and you never have to give a reason why either. I learned that many years ago when attending assertiveness course whist I was working, broken record it's called.