Driving dilemma

Some people have lived in rural areas most or all of their lives SusieB.
I moved to a rural area in my 30s and certainly wasn't thinking about my driving abilities at 80+

I can see both sides of this but my feeling is that if this lady has not shown that she is unsafe on the road, eg by having several minor accidents, then I don't think it is anybody's business to tell her not to drive.

There are some horrific accidents where several people have been killed, often involving younger people who have taken silly risks to show off to their friends. I think it would unreasonable to say young people shouldn't drive, but perhaps certain safeguards should be brought in, eg not carrying passengers until a certain period has elapsed, or having a monitoring device fitted to the car. In fact, perhaps this would be a good thing for all drivers.

In the same way, perhaps certain safeguards could be introduced for older drivers, eg not driving at night (it is a fact that night vision declines in old age).

There are good drivers - who try to remember to drive in accordance with the legal requirements - and there are some bad drivers, who throw the rule book out of the window once they have passed the test. Perhaps it would be wise for people to be tested, say, every 10 years to ensure that they are safe to continue. No doubt many drivers - good and bad - would think that outrageous but I think anything else would smack of ageism.

If she is not herself it is time to take Action! Not recognizing her own shortcomings
may well be a sign of dementia. She is over 90 - time to stop driving !!
I have decided to stop when I am 80.

I believe you can contact the DVLA anonymously to raise your safety concerns about an elderly driver. In your situation, I'd be doing that without any delay.

Well ' said' Philomena .

My son's partner would admit herself that her parking is "very haphazard". Should that preclude her from driving?

This lady's parking is extremely haphazard. It sometimes looks like the car has been dumped after a high speed chase! ie at very odd angles slewed across two spaces.

I'm going to remember this when my time comes to surrender the car keys. I only drive locally these days but if any family members raised the suggestion, I'll give up. My late mother's GP confiscated her car keys. She gracefully acquiesced.
Other neighbours have given up their car and the wife actually said that it was a relief.

@Eloethan no one is saying that there are not bad drivers of any age. This is not a thread saying that all elderly ŕrŕdrivers are a liability - indeed, my mother, who is in her eighties is still a very good driver, although these days restricts herself to local journeys and does not drive at night. However, it has to be faced that we are an aging population and the number of older drivers has increased exponentially in the last thirty years or so. As we get older, a large number of ailments creep in and generally worsen over time. As well as the deterioration of hearing and eyesight (cataracts is a common problem), there may be a decline in cognitive abilities and, very importantly, a decline in physical strength to the point where a person may no longer be strong enough to handle a car safely. It is in these cases that, very sadly, important decisions have to be made about the safety of the driver and, crucially, everyone else who might come into contact with them. This thread is for advice about one very elderly lady who, for a number of reasons, should no longer be driving.

I'm 77 and I gave up my car last year and didn't renew my licence. I've moved to a more urban area with a decent bus service and hispeed trains. It's been hard giving up my 'freedom ' to travel on a whim, but I knew my reactions were slower and there was no way I could drive at night. I didn't wait for others to tell me not to drive or worse cause an accident. The money saved by not running a car more than covers the cost of taxis when needed (although I still think of them as an extravagance!)

Susie42

I think a lot of elderly drivers carry on because their local public transport is poor or even non-existent.

Maybe so but that’s what taxis are for. Probably works out cheaper than the cost of running a car too and selling the car would also pay for an awful lot of taxi rides!

My father wouldn’t listen to family, but as his GP was ‘God’ when the GP suggested he needed a driving assessment he obeyed instantly. He was convinced he would pass with flying colours and was flabbergasted when the assessor told him to stop and refused to let him drive any further. He took his licence away there and then. We all knew he was a danger to himself and others but he just wouldn’t believe us.

I will be 80 in a couple of weeks, I gave up driving over a year ago, because I just didn't want to drive anymore, I felt that I was slowing down .I do miss my car because my knees are bad, and I find walking painful, I'm not sorry that I stopped driving, I get my shopping delivered and the bus stop is not too far if I do need to travel,,,,and I saved some money on car tax,petrol etc,,

keepingquiet

I wonder if all the posters on here would like to suggest the age at which they plan to give up driving?

I am coming up for 80. I passed my test in 1962 at the age of 17 and 3 months (my first driving lesson was on my 17th birthday!)
So far, touch wood, I have had no accidents, even though. Until recently I was driving regularly to work in a town 15 miles away, and also to visit a friend 130 miles away. I drive at the speed limit, or as dictated by the conditions. I do not potter along at 30 on the motorway! I love driving, always have. I asked my adult grandson to come out wit( me and give me an honest opinion on whether or not I should be driving and he said I am still a good driver. I am pretty sure I will know when I should give up, but I have plenty of family to tell me if I get it wrong.

80 should be the cut off date whether you are fit or not then no one would need to argue with relatives or feel they weren’t adequate it would be a done deed just the same as the start you can’t drive at 16
Most of my driving friends have given up at 75 or around there but I have 4 or 5 still driving at 80 one has such a dodgy hip I wonder how she manages pedals

I think a good and experienced driver will know when it’s time. I would hate to be made to give up at 80 when I know (see my previous post) that I am still a good and safe driver.

I feel it is imperative for the OP
to act to prevent this lady from driving as the lady has at some time collapsed in the street.
A few years ago one of my friends, who was in her 80's, but apparently in good health, was driving locally. Unfortunately whilst driving my friend was taken ill and passed out.
The car mounted the pavement, hit a sixteen year old girl, inflicting injuries which resulted in the loss of one of her legs.
My friend made a good recovery from her cerebral event, but she will never recover from what her car did to that young girl.
The lady who is being discussed on the forum was lucky her collapse occurred when she was not driving.
What if it happens again, but this time when driving.

DH has always been an excellent driver and as one of Her Majesty’s Inspectors of schools drove many miles each year. As his Parkinson’s progressed his driving deteriorated but he wouldn’t listen to me or his children so I spoke to his consultant and at our next visit she gave his a couple of spatial awareness tests and told him he could drive home but that was it. He hated sending back his licence but we encouraged him to think that nearly sixty years of accident free driving was something to be proud of. I only drive locally and can foresee that even that may become more than I should do. I know my children will have no problem telling me.

Crossstitchfan

I think a good and experienced driver will know when it’s time. I would hate to be made to give up at 80 when I know (see my previous post) that I am still a good and safe driver.

This is just common sense- the ability to drive safely should not be dictated by age, which is an aribitary assessment.

All drivers are dangerous in the wrong conditions, regardless of age.

I think the OP's neighbour seems to lack common sense, but that is not dictated by age either.

I wouldn't report someone for being elderly, but I wouldn't hesitate to if they were a danger.
Even parking, if you can't do it properly with some semblance of awareness can be dangerous.

I have given up night driving. But I still drive during the day……

Any one can contact the DVLA about concerns they may have with someone ability , if you are really concerned for her and other people's safety it might be the way forward. Don't forget once someone is hurt or killed it is too late.

I am somewhat on the fence in this. As has been said, some drivers are "dangerous" at any age, others only when older. Lots of things go slower when we get older but it doesn't necessarily make us unsafe. My DH has never been a fast driver (never been fast at anything at all in our 53 years together), but also never had an accident of any kind. He has even always taken ages to cross the road at a pelican crossing. Yet two years ago we were driving along a dual carriageway at the permitted speed when a car zoomed suddenly from the opposite carriageway, straight across our path and DH's reaction was instantaneous. Had it not been, a major accident would have occurred.

I have always been a "faster" driver (once did a ton on the M1 - there was no other traffic - just to see what it felt like!) and regularly used to drive 90 miles a day to and from work on country roads, and being younger than DH I believe I am still a good driver. DH's capability to drive does not worry me at all, it just irritates me a little when he seems to take longer to pull out of junctions etc than I would.

Not really relevant to the safe-driving decision, but we live almost a mile up a steep hill to the nearest bus stop (one bus per hour if you are lucky) so we'd have to move or rely on taxis (none in our area unless booked ages in advance and we've never seen an Uber), so I'm hoping one or both of us can continue driving for a while longer.

BlueBelle

I believe there should be a cut off age just like there’s a starting age and 80 would be my cut off age.
No one wants to stop anything but we need to be realistic our reactions, our strength, our eyes, and ears are not so good as we get older and that needs to be acknowledged traffic gets heavier and more congested If there is a cut off date no one could cheat like the lady I know in her 70 s who didn’t declare the strokes she’d had or the weakness in one arm.
A lady I know is nearly 80 and still working as a driving instructor !!!
I gave up riding my cycle a year ago simply because with all the pot holes etc I knew if I fell it would probably be a broken hip at the age I am I didn’t want to …but it was the sensible thing to do for me

Well, I have to disagree.

I'd rather be in a car with DH driving than many younger drivers I know.

There do need to be more stringent regulations than just a form declaring you think you are fit to drive but age is not the prime factor.

AGAA4

Some people have lived in rural areas most or all of their lives SusieB.
I moved to a rural area in my 30s and certainly wasn't thinking about my driving abilities at 80+

That’s very true “AGAA4” apologies. It’s the lack of good public transport that makes it so difficult.