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Driving dilemma

(112 Posts)
Aveline Sat 01-Feb-25 12:33:18

My neighbour is very dear to me. She is 90+ and we were all very glad to hear that she planned to give up her car after Christmas. She's collapsed in the street before and her parking is very haphazard. However, last night she announced that she's renewed her licence for another 3 years and is keeping the car. We were all pretty horrified. Unfortunately she became very angry and defiant at us and said we were just like her son's who want her to give up her license. Her 'friends' allegedly say she's a good driver and should keep going. I'd thought we were her friends too.
We couldn't get her to understand that anything could happen. A year ago a 90+ year old lady went up on the pavement and killed a toddler in his pushchair. Too dreadful to contemplate.
I know there's nothing you can suggest that we haven't already but I just needed to let off steam.

MissAdventure Tue 04-Feb-25 10:31:17

I can't envisage living somewhere with no taxis at all, no online deliveries, no buses at all, I'm afraid.

Allira Tue 04-Feb-25 10:38:15

Well, it's not that we, or I imagine Dizzyribs, moved to somewhere where there were few taxis or buses.

There were bus services on Sundays and in the evenings here; plenty of taxi firms if you needed a taxi. There was a hospital with Minor Injuries, a huge weekly market as well as plentiful shops selling everything from fruit and veg to shoes and clothing.
All more or less gone now.

I do not want to live in a city.

Witzend Tue 04-Feb-25 10:42:18

It’s very difficult, OP. You just have to hope that a very minor prang will make her think again.

My mother gave up her car voluntarily at about 80 - she’d become increasingly nervous in heavy traffic.

We were quick to tell her that with what she’d be saving on petrol/insurance/MOTs/servicing, never mind the sold price of a still good car, she’d be able to take any number of taxis.

Alas she never did - in her eyes taxis were still a great extravagance, and she became increasingly housebound. 🙁

MissAdventure Tue 04-Feb-25 10:43:00

That's the trade off, isn't it?
Saying that, my ex lived in Glencoe, and got online deliveries, a reliable, but sparse bus service, and taxis, if booked well in advance.

Allira Tue 04-Feb-25 10:46:40

Obviously for the sake of safety, common sense has to prevail and if someone shows any indication that they are no longer fit to drive, they should not be driving.

However, this is a very ageist thread.

MissAdventure Tue 04-Feb-25 10:50:43

I've not seen anything ageist, that I can remember.
Surely the general thoughts are that each driver should be treated as an individual?

Young, old, and otherwise.

Allira Tue 04-Feb-25 11:07:13

This, MissAdventure

I believe there should be a cut off age just like there’s a starting age and 80 would be my cut off age.
and
And this is exactly why I believe EVERYONE should have to stop driving at age eighty. No ifs, no buts.

The general tone of the thread is ageist.

Yet it is the younger drivers who are most at risk of causing accidents.
What age group is most likely to be involved in a crash in the UK? Young male drivers under 25 are four times more likely to be involved in a car accident than drivers aged 25 or over.

Aveline Tue 04-Feb-25 11:09:21

I should reiterate that neighbour is not 80 she's 91!

MissAdventure Tue 04-Feb-25 11:09:45

Ah, thank you.
Yes, I see what you mean, now.

Allira Tue 04-Feb-25 11:14:53

Aveline

I should reiterate that neighbour is not 80 she's 91!

It wasn't you who mentioned 80 but other posters whom I quoted.

I agree that, if someone is showing signs that they have cognitive impairment or a physical disability that means they are not fit to drive, they should be be behind the wheel.

But I'm sure we all know people who were not fit to drive when they were younger as well as older people who should recognise when it's time to give up their licence.

RillaofIngleside Wed 05-Feb-25 16:11:58

If someone is reported to the DVLA they send them a detailed form to complete. This happened to my parent. They were unable to complete it themselves adequately and after a few weeks we're told to stop driving.
Reporting concerns is the responsible thing to do. It is anonymous.