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Driving dilemma

(112 Posts)
Aveline Sat 01-Feb-25 12:33:18

My neighbour is very dear to me. She is 90+ and we were all very glad to hear that she planned to give up her car after Christmas. She's collapsed in the street before and her parking is very haphazard. However, last night she announced that she's renewed her licence for another 3 years and is keeping the car. We were all pretty horrified. Unfortunately she became very angry and defiant at us and said we were just like her son's who want her to give up her license. Her 'friends' allegedly say she's a good driver and should keep going. I'd thought we were her friends too.
We couldn't get her to understand that anything could happen. A year ago a 90+ year old lady went up on the pavement and killed a toddler in his pushchair. Too dreadful to contemplate.
I know there's nothing you can suggest that we haven't already but I just needed to let off steam.

cornergran Sun 02-Feb-25 00:51:15

Fainting isn't necessarily a trigger for a driving ban. A friend has fainted at home for years. Initially her GP and consultant were happy for her to continue to drive. A different GP sought advice from the DVLA, after their investigation which included medical reports our friend was told she can continue, there are no restrictions on her licence, she’s very happy to be able to continue to drive locally while using public transport for distances.

Grantanow Sun 02-Feb-25 10:34:43

Susie42

I think a lot of elderly drivers carry on because their local public transport is poor or even non-existent.

I agree. The Tories slashed bus services.

MissAdventure Sun 02-Feb-25 10:51:24

That doesn't give people who are unsafe carte blanche to put others at risk, though.

crazyH Sun 02-Feb-25 10:59:36

Btw my parking abilities are second to none -just saying 😂 -ask my friends

Baggs Sun 02-Feb-25 11:08:13

Eloethan

I can see both sides of this but my feeling is that if this lady has not shown that she is unsafe on the road, eg by having several minor accidents, then I don't think it is anybody's business to tell her not to drive.

There are some horrific accidents where several people have been killed, often involving younger people who have taken silly risks to show off to their friends. I think it would unreasonable to say young people shouldn't drive, but perhaps certain safeguards should be brought in, eg not carrying passengers until a certain period has elapsed, or having a monitoring device fitted to the car. In fact, perhaps this would be a good thing for all drivers.

In the same way, perhaps certain safeguards could be introduced for older drivers, eg not driving at night (it is a fact that night vision declines in old age).

There are good drivers - who try to remember to drive in accordance with the legal requirements - and there are some bad drivers, who throw the rule book out of the window once they have passed the test. Perhaps it would be wise for people to be tested, say, every 10 years to ensure that they are safe to continue. No doubt many drivers - good and bad - would think that outrageous but I think anything else would smack of ageism.

Good post. The problem of ageism is the first thing that crossed my mind when I read the OP. Young drivers are involved in far more accidents than old ones because they take more risks.

And then there is medical privacy. Perhaps DVLA needs to check its parameters are actually good and then keep applying them.

Baggs Sun 02-Feb-25 11:12:45

Add the term "percentage-wise" between accidents and than

Allira Sun 02-Feb-25 11:23:33

A year ago a 90+ year old lady went up on the pavement and killed a toddler in his pushchair. Too dreadful to contemplate.

On the news here the other day: an 18 year old was sent to a Young Offenders Institute after losing control of his car and hitting a young boy at a bus stop, leaving him with severe life-changing injuries. The 18 year old, of no fixed address, had just bought a BMW, had no driving licence and he and his pregnant wife fled the scene leaving passersby to lift the car.

This criminal got just over 2 years in a YOI and is banned from driving for 4 years.
A travesty of justice.

MissAdventure Sun 02-Feb-25 11:31:17

I know someone who was driving a new works vehicle; maybe a six seater?
The company got new people carriers, and it was expected that the drivers would and should be able to get in them and drive, immediately.

This person mounted the pavement at a supermarket, hit and dragged someone along under the vehicle, and killed them.

It was terrible for the driver, the persons family and local press were baying for blood...

HelterSkelter1 Sun 02-Feb-25 12:09:34

If you ban older drivers from night driving, that means after 4.00 pm in the winter. And how old is an "older driver".
It is a problem that needs careful thought and discussion. There's no easy answer to suit everyone.
I suppose moving in from very rural areas with no regular public transport is one aspect of "future proofing".
But I do feel for the OPs position.

MissAdventure Sun 02-Feb-25 13:05:41

I don't think that being "old" is necessarily a reason to stop driving.
Each case is invidual, but I suppose it relies on the person to report any issues, themself.

winterwhite Sun 02-Feb-25 16:33:41

I agree with Baggs and Eloethan. To suggest that the woman has dementia because she got angry when confronted by a group of neighbours disagreeing with her is very ageist! And there is something vigilantist about people reporting their neighbours to the dvla.
I think the concerned neighbours should make every effort to waylay the woman’s sons and put the matter in their hands asap.

Astitchintime Sun 02-Feb-25 16:44:01

ITV News recently featured an article where Leicestershire police conducted spot checks on drivers in respect of being able to read a number plate at the designated required distance........their finding were alarming ! One driver admitted to not having her specs with her when she failed the sight test, a voice officer drove her home to collect them.......and she STILL failed!

Lovemylife Sun 02-Feb-25 18:07:44

Could your neighbour book herself in for a driving assessment? Some impartial advice might do the trick in persuading her to give up. Or she may do well and thus reassure you that she is still safe?

M0nica Sun 02-Feb-25 19:01:21

DH, aged 81, had an older drivers assessment day, run by the Institute of Advanced Motorists, they found little to comment on in his driving and said he was fine to continue driving. I am the same age.

We both regularly drive distances of 100 miles or more on all kinds of roads, dual carriageways, and motorways and travel to France four or five times a year. We can keep up with traffic, park with precision and neither of our children has said anything about aour driving and DS is happy for his children to travel with us when we are the drivers.

This weekend a driver in his 20s drove into 2 children, killing both and drove on. 4 university students, all in their early 20s were killed when their car was driven into a building. Almost every week, groups of teenagers drive their cars off the road into trees, buildings and ditches and kill everyone.

Yes, the driving of some older drivers deteriorates very quickly. Some 60 year olds are already unsafe on the road, but other drivers can drive safely into their 90s.

In his late 80s my father drove from the south coast to York for his grandson's wedding, refusing offers of transport, he spread the journey over 2 days and on the way back took 4 days as he fitted in a touring holiday around the journey. He drove to our holiday home in Normandy when over 90, again refusing offers of lifts.

In a previous thread on a subject like this, I suggested that from 76 all older drivers renewing their licence should also be expected to provide evidence of a recent eye test and should undergo a basic cognitive test, arranged by the DVLA and probably adminsitered at driving test locations. This would remove from the road those who cannot see properly and whose cognitive skills are fading.

MissAdventure Sun 02-Feb-25 20:16:15

That sounds a sensible move, but would "some people" be prepared to take the tests?

Particularly if afraid they may fail.

Aveline Sun 02-Feb-25 21:28:07

The very people who most need such a test are unlikely to agree to it. My neighbour is defiantly sure that she's absolutely fine despite evidence to the contrary.

M0nica Sun 02-Feb-25 21:40:33

MissAdventure

That sounds a sensible move, but would "some people" be prepared to take the tests?

Particularly if afraid they may fail.

They wouldn't have the choice, anymore than you do if you fail a cognitive test at a Memory Clinic or have your licence withdrawn because you have had a stroke or heart attack. You can get it back if you are later found to have recovered sufficiently.

If you didn't do the test you would lose your licence anyway.

We were in London, travelling in a black cab this week and talking to the driver. he was describing how his BiL, also a cab driver had developed early onset dementia in his mid 50s and had been driving his taxi into London, then parking up in a quiet road because he could not remember where customers had asked to be taken or where their destination was.

MissAdventure Sun 02-Feb-25 22:30:20

I've worked in places where the person I'm looking after has a relative of the same cognitive impairments and has driven their car to visit.

4allweknow Mon 03-Feb-25 12:01:46

Aveline. My late DH was deaf. Had earing aids with little effect. Never had an accident of any sort. Eventually had a cochlear impact 3 years before he died, and the implant did help.

4allweknow Mon 03-Feb-25 12:11:08

The incident about the 3 year old being killed was horrendous prompting a ban on over 70 years old driving. There are though almost on a daiky basis reports of those a lot younger killing people on the roads. There are also loads of incidents involving younger people that are never reported by the media or to driver's insurance company. If tgey sustain a bump or bash they just sort it out themselves. Are they to be banned too? Many young people do not, like the older generation, view a car like an lethal weapon treating it like something off a scalextric set.

4allweknow Mon 03-Feb-25 12:37:01

You can report to DVLA but a long process for medical assessment. Then, if found to be incapable, the car has to be got rid off. The Edinburgh incident was really down to the banned driver still having the car. Perhaps if anyone has welfare POA they would be able to dispose of the car once banned.

MissAdventure Mon 03-Feb-25 12:38:27

I suppose anything that,can be construed as,dangerous driving.
It is shutting the stable door after the horse has bolted, though, to wait until an,accident has happened.

4allweknow Mon 03-Feb-25 12:42:27

Astitchintime. I saw that and the person who failed was young! A lot do not want to wear glasses even though advised to for driving by optician.

SueDoku Mon 03-Feb-25 12:49:34

Susie42

I think a lot of elderly drivers carry on because their local public transport is poor or even non-existent.

I agree with this. Where I live, buses are both erratic and sparse - to get to the nearest station is either two buses and a walk up a steep hill, or a £10 taxi (each way..!) If I want to go to any groups, social events or friends houses, there are no buses after 6pm - and none at all on a Sunday ...🙄
I like my house - but I don't want to sit in it all day, every day - and arthritis means that I cannot walk several miles to meet up. I'm keeping my car for as long as I can...!!

knspol Mon 03-Feb-25 13:05:39

I passed out once while sitting reading. Went to the GP and was told to notify DVLA and was stopped from driving for an initial 6 months. Once all medical tests etc were done and proved negative I had to reapply for licence with covering letter from consultant. Do you think your neighbour has notified the authorities of her fainting?