Driving dilemma

When I started to learn to drive in the late 1950s, the first thing my instructor said to me "don't ever forget that you have a lethal weapon in your hand at the wheel" I have never forgotten.

How utterly selfish and irresponsible your neighbour is Personally I would raise my concerns with DVLA

I don't think age is the issue as I read a report that 40% of drivers would fail an eye sight test. I think an eyesight test certificate every 5 years at a minimum should be sent to DVLA

Aveline

My neighbour is very dear to me. She is 90+ and we were all very glad to hear that she planned to give up her car after Christmas. She's collapsed in the street before and her parking is very haphazard. However, last night she announced that she's renewed her licence for another 3 years and is keeping the car. We were all pretty horrified. Unfortunately she became very angry and defiant at us and said we were just like her son's who want her to give up her license. Her 'friends' allegedly say she's a good driver and should keep going. I'd thought we were her friends too.
We couldn't get her to understand that anything could happen. A year ago a 90+ year old lady went up on the pavement and killed a toddler in his pushchair. Too dreadful to contemplate.
I know there's nothing you can suggest that we haven't already but I just needed to let off steam.

And this is exactly why I believe EVERYONE should have to stop driving at age eighty. No ifs, no buts. And yes, I know it's impossible to live outside urban areas without a car, but if you knew you'd have to stop driving then you'd plan your later years better and move somewhere with public transport - or indeed get together with your similarly disadvantaged neighbours and arrange a pooled taxi service or similar.

The DVLA should not trust the tick box questions as proof of a driver's ability to drive safely before renewing a licence.
At 70 we should have to undergo a medical and driving test at our expense. Reflexes are slower as we age and hearing and eyesight are often deteriorating too. We must be honest with ourselves and listen to others if they raise concerns.
Nobody enjoys relinquishing their car keys and seeing that independence go but it is the safest thing for all concerned.
I would be mentioning her to either her GP or the Police before something awful happens.

This lady may have fainted in the street due to some illness or something that has since been cured.
I know at several ladies who in their 80's and 90's are perfectly healthy - may need hearing aids and glasses - but nothing wrong with their reactions etc (one still plays golf!)
it would be interesting to have a study done comparing accidents involving young and old drivers before depriving people who may be perfectly ok to drive in their 80's or even 90's of their licence.
There is a very good statistically proven reason why insurers load the premiums of young male drivers
I think older people often recognise their diminished health issues and therefore self limit their driving to local necessary journeys just to go shopping, visit friends etc.
Of course, public transport for seniors is the answer, but when people are living on pensions, it has to be cost effective and convenient for them.
How about subsidised taxis? (particularly for people on pension credits maybe?) It is important for older people to be independent and taking away their transport could have terrible mental heath issues for them.

And this is exactly why I believe EVERYONE should have to stop driving at age eighty. No ifs, no buts.

I disagree.

There are people who should not be driving at 18; there are people who should not be driving at 40 or at 80.

I am nearly 80. I was driving at the speed limit yesterday through a village at 20 mph (the speed limit) and a young idiot screamed past me at, I would say, about 60 mph, careering on to the wrong side of the road on the other side of the bollards. He could easily have lost control.

So you're telling me I should not be driving soon? And he is fine to continue?

I think that, if a GP is worried about a patient's ability to continue to drive, they can contact the DVLA.

Do you think the reason friends who say she should 'keep going', do so because they rely on her for lifts?

I think I would be rather cross if someone suggested that because of my age, I should give up driving. A degree of aggression is not only a sign of dementia- it can also be indignation - at someone making a diagnosis.

ordinarygirl

I don't think age is the issue as I read a report that 40% of drivers would fail an eye sight test. I think an eyesight test certificate every 5 years at a minimum should be sent to DVLA

You are right, ordinarygirl

Age is not the issue. Signs of cognitive impairment, eyesight problems etc can happen at any age or not at all.

Illegal drug-taking is more of an issue with many younger drivers and that would be a very unusual factor in those of 80+.

montymops

I think I would be rather cross if someone suggested that because of my age, I should give up driving. A degree of aggression is not only a sign of dementia- it can also be indignation - at someone making a diagnosis.

I felt a degree of indignation towards the poster who suggested everyone should give up driving at 80 regardless of the fact that they may be fit, and good, experienced drivers.

Hard or hearing is not a disability that excludes you from driving. Those people that are profoundly deafare allowed to drive.

Given the number of medical appointment, picking up prescriptions that increase in old age it gets more and more important that one can drive.

The limit should be competence not age.

Aveline

My neighbour is well off and can easily afford taxis as required. Actually I was quite taken back at her aggressive response. It was quite out of character. Maybe she was already fed up at her sons' going on at her? I don't know. I suspect it's a matter of pride for her.
Can only hope all goes well or she decides to give up driving very soon.

Have you got any idea how inconvenient and life changing it is not to drive when you have driven all you adult life?. Relying on public transport or taxis not being able to be impulsive and go out when you wish to. I am not saying this lady should be driving but I doubt not wanting to give up her licence has anything to do with pride. More fear of becoming isolated, lonely and stuck in a rut. Relying on other people is the pits too.

The lady who mounted the pavement and killed the wee boy in Edinburgh died before the case went to trial. But it was suggested she was suffering from dementia. I’m sure If your neighbour is showing signs of dementia you can report this to the dvla as she’s not likely to do this and if she’s made a false declaration she could be prosecuted

It depends so much on the person. My dad drive until his eyesight started to deteriorate at 92. He only drive locally, anything further he got a lift, a taxi or public transport. I did feel safe with him up to the end, he could reverse into a parking space still much better than I've ever been able to do. It was his decision and am glad he recognized that it was time
A friend of his is still driving at 96, again I ly locally, he drive as part of his job.

Laythrus3
I think you are being flippant about the elderly people and their driving in your neighbourhood.
However slowly they drive someone could easily be killed if the didn’t see a pedestrian and hit them.
You can anonymously report someone to DVLA and they write a letter to the driver. I know this as it has recently happened to a friend of mine. I didn’t report them .

Pippa22

Laythrus3
I think you are being flippant about the elderly people and their driving in your neighbourhood.
However slowly they drive someone could easily be killed if the didn’t see a pedestrian and hit them.
You can anonymously report someone to DVLA and they write a letter to the driver. I know this as it has recently happened to a friend of mine. I didn’t report them .

It was rather an ageist post especially on a site primarily (but not exclusively) aimed at older people.

Lathyrus I do have an "elderly friend", at least I suppose she's elderly as she's over 81. She is sometimes slightly hesitant when driving, probably more at a junction rather than taking chances like some drivers, but she was the same when she was 45.
In all the years I've known her she's never had an accident.

How many of these hesitant older drivers were always hesitant nervous drivers.

Out driving I notice time and again nervous drivers of all ages, taking ages to turn out at junctions, positioning themselves badly, parking badly and generally unable to judge a situation.

I almost got stuck in a car park last week with a driver, wanting my place, who stopped in the area I needed to back on to, then backed right off and placed themselves, in the area where I would need to turn into once I had backed out. They clearly were unable to read the situation.

I think nervous hesitant old drivers are just nervous hesitant young drivers grown old.

I think nervous hesitant old drivers are just nervous hesitant young drivers grown old.

I agree.

I'm planning to downsize and one of the requirements of wherever I move to includes all the essentials in easy walking distance, as I know there could come a time when I have to give up driving. Having said that I know lots of people much older than me who still drive. I'm only just 70 so recently had to sign up for my next 3 year licence. I took it seriously, going for an eye test before applying even though I wasn't aware of any issues. I still drive from just outside London to visit my family in Yorkshire a few times every year. Many of my friends express surprise at me still doing the long journey as many only drive locally and not after dark! I don't enjoy long distances any more and need a few breaks, but if I was only driving locally I'd question if I should be driving at all. One friend gave me a lift somewhere and folded her wing mirrors in when on a narrow country lane as she was worried about them hitting something! That made me seriously nervous so I probably won't accept a lift from her in future - she is one of the 'only locally' people!
I agree with others that there probably should be some sort of test to renew a licence - if not at 70 definitely at 80 - even if it is just the sight test. I never had to deal with the issue with an elderly parent as my dad died very young and my mum never drove as she suffered from epilepsy. I hope if my kids ever suggest I give up that I'll listen to them.

I'm also going to be 80 this summer. I'm going to have a session with a driving instructor to check whether I'm still safe on the road.
However, DS must think I am. I'm going for a week to Spain with him, his non-driver wife and his Australian in-laws,
who wouldn't drive on the right or in a car with manual gears.
He's put my name down as the other driver for this trip.

I haven’t moved to the country to retire, I live in the same market town that I moved to when I married many years ago.
If I stopped driving I would be able to sit at home and watch tv every night (if the signal is good enough) or read after about 7.00pm, there’s nothing else to do locally. I’d need to take a full day to collect my newspaper (no delivery service and poor internet) my standard shopping would have to take place over several days because I can’t carry it all to and from the bus stop in one go and there’s only a couple of buses a day, which run for commuters. They turn around straight away so you have to go in at 7.30am and return at 6.00pm. Taxis are like hens teeth and cost around £30 one way. For some reason I can’t get online delivery here (websites say they will let me know when it’s available in my area.
Stopping driving is going to restrict my life completely. I’m late 60s so not there yet, but the thought is already filling me with fear. Moving is not an option financially.

Yes it’s a market town- so I would have the three or four market stalls every other week and a farmers market once a month which may be enough. It would just be very lonely in the evenings.

So what are you going to do Dizzyribs?

Anyone saying that people must give up driving at 80 and use buses or taxis is being dogmatic. Obviously, if someone is not fit to drive they should not be driving but that could happen at a younger age or they could be fit to continue for years.

They are also assuming that buses and taxis are readily available - it's similar here, Dizzyribs, so I can sympathise.
Taxis are not available, especially in the evenings and the buses stop in the early evening too. Online shopping is available, as is Amazon etc - but don't mention that on here as others may ask why on earth you don't go shopping in proper shops and that Amazon is the work of the devil. It may be, but it is also very useful if you can't travel far.
Likewise to get to hospital appointments - here we could be sent to any hospital, some of them 35 miles away. Buses? probably have to change two or three times, taking at hours each way.

So what should we do, Dizzyribs? Move to the city where we know no-one? I don't think so!

I hope you can find a supermarket that will do an online delivery. Have you asked your neighbours?