To be sad about close family members not checking in

Nowt so queer as folk,as my Dad would say. Very hurtful for you, but you are more considerate than they are, so just put it down to their loss.

Boing

I think you have to consider what your relationship is like generally with them - do you keep in touch with each other anyway or only now and then, or if something has happened or is planned eg. operations etc. You can be the kindest, most considerate person who checks in with others but that doesn't mean they will mirror that kindness and consideration back. Our expectations of others is what causes the bitterness and upset when they don't reciprocate. I have come across this so many times and other people have said the same thing to me, so you're not alone.

The world has changed sadly. People tend to be caught up with their own lives and although keeping in touch is easier now, more often than not it's only when someone wants something from you that they make the effort. It's taken me a long time to realise this but once I became aware of it I noticed it was always me that made the effort - I don't do it anymore x

Boing I completely agree and was going to write something similar especially your last paragraph. I heard again on the radio yesterday, someone talking about how the UK, possibly the world, has changed since the pandemic. People seem to have retreated into their families, become somewhat selfish and unhelpful/supportive to others.
I have spent the last year supporting a friend and a close family member and her family through unpleasant breast cancer treatment.
My own troubles have been ignored when they have arisen, silence, and the fact that I messaged on the day of a breast removal without realising it was actually hostily rejected. This has become the last straw for me.
Along with the disappearance of common civility in the streets and shops, careless driving, no one seems to bother signalling or waiting at roundabouts any longer, I'm sick of it, I've gone into selfish mode myself. It is sad, as others have said, make the best of your own life.

During the worst of Covid I really thought that when normal life was resumed we would become a more tolerant, kinder and caring society. Sadly the opposite has happened.
Surely we need each other. Humans, in the main, are gregarious and I find it very sad that we hear more and more about an increasing number who are not prepared to reach out, even to family and close friends, unless there is something in it for them.

I do not hear from close family or friends-- unless they want something. I have to do all the phone calls or emails Only a GD in Oz texts me and occasionally a message from GS's wife.
A friend has a son who texts her every night
I always say that we could be dead a week before anyone knew. We have no neighbours. post only once a week if we are lucky. Sometimes I long for the sound of a human voice. (not even scammers ring us up). I can't get OH to move or even wake up and switch off the TV. Even after 62 years I am seriously thinking of moving on my own , just to be nearer to some human beings. I seem to have lost the ability to chat with other people. I am off to my exercise class where we just say Hello and Goodbye and no chatting.

Milest0ne

I do not hear from close family or friends-- unless they want something. I have to do all the phone calls or emails Only a GD in Oz texts me and occasionally a message from GS's wife.
A friend has a son who texts her every night
I always say that we could be dead a week before anyone knew. We have no neighbours. post only once a week if we are lucky. Sometimes I long for the sound of a human voice. (not even scammers ring us up). I can't get OH to move or even wake up and switch off the TV. Even after 62 years I am seriously thinking of moving on my own , just to be nearer to some human beings. I seem to have lost the ability to chat with other people. I am off to my exercise class where we just say Hello and Goodbye and no chatting.

Could you mention having a coffee to your exercise people? We British are not always very good at making the first move but we must miss a lot as a result.
Take a chance, who knows there may be others in your class who are just waiting to be asked.

I do hope that you are OK Bea65 as I can’t see that you have returned to your thread.

you are not unreasonable at all, when you think that we put so much into our family and friends, and in my own experience, I only get calls when THEY want something. My DH had a nasty operation last week, I had a text 'how's dad' the day he came home and nothing since. When I had my cataracts done, I heard nothing from DD because 'I don't do eyes'. So you are not unreasonable , it seems to me that some of us have self entitled selfish thoughtless families.

Illness really does sort the wheat from the chaff! I was quite poorly three years ago and was very close to a complete breakdown........didn't see my 'good friend' for weeks. Hurts doesn't it??

Yes GNs it does hurt my heart/soul… im always the one that did the most caring for our mother despite working 30+hrs a week and raising DD on my own …
I just can’t bring myself to either
Msg or phone just to say Hi im still breathing ..what’s happening with you?
We lost the youngest sibling some 18yrs ago very suddenly and we all said we must keep in touch more after the shock but realise it’s all very 1 sided thought I had a better understanding of this niece who underwent similar surgery last Nov & checked in with her regularly for couple of weeks- I thought we were close .. they all know am living alone - am not expecting visits we live in opposite ends of the Uk but they both do social media … oh well never mind - hope u all on here have a sunnier day 🤞