GN makes me lonelier

So.etimes J think there was something to be said for convents.
Where women could live in a community and work at different things have a routine and regular meditation.

* allira* No. I have never owned a kitten. I have taken home cats that had awful lives, and although I could care for them now, I am about to give up my car, so I would not be able to get the cat to the vet, either at night or during the day.

It would be an immense worry if I could not care for it properly.

It's OK to feel whatever you feel. Loneliness, regret, disappointment whatever it is.

I'm not sure a big gap between what's going on inside and the outside show is always a good thing. If one can muster the courage to say " I'm struggling" it can help ease the trapped in the head feeling. Could you open up a little to trusted friends OP?

I have a partner, a quiet self sufficient type of person. Brings it's own challenges.

Also, it’s easy to think that everyone else is having a busy, fruitful, fulfilling existence.

Perhaps behind the scenes life is not always as marvellous as is written about, on the GM thread or on others.

Bit like Christmas, birthdays, holidays…

We all tend to say how great things were, but sometimes, no, not really.

I do hope the day has improved for you. I have no wise words, other than to be kind to yourself.
As others have said not all the posts on GN are what they seem.
I don’t bother with writing about my daily doings, I tend to think why would anyone be interested. If I’ve done something special and I’ve enjoyed it, that’s all that matters.

Thank you for all the kind comments- sorry to be a Moaning Myrtle !

I wonder if I started the day feeling low? Sometimes a dream can have a lasting effect which lingers long after we he are awake.
I had been dreaming that DH and I were cruising past the most beautiful scenery (OK in my dream it somehow morphed into a train, but I knew we had set off on a cruise) and I remember thinking these are truly golden moments, life is good and sighing with contentment as things couldn’t get much better.
Who knows.

I’ve just been out with Rosie and spotted that a friend I used to see regularly but I thought must be away as we haven’t spoken since last weekend, is actually at home (both cars outside and in a village you can’t get anywhere any other way)
Shall I message her? Or see if I hear first Not holding my breath.

Lots of love Maw x

I understand that sinking feeling when a day seems devoid of activity, Maw. My circumstances are not the same as yours but if I don't watch out too many quiet days came be unsettling. I hope that you feel better soon.

RosieandherMaw

I wonder if I started the day feeling low? Sometimes a dream can have a lasting effect which lingers long after we he are awake.
I had been dreaming that DH and I were cruising past the most beautiful scenery (OK in my dream it somehow morphed into a train, but I knew we had set off on a cruise) and I remember thinking these are truly golden moments, life is good and sighing with contentment as things couldn’t get much better.
Who knows.

I’ve just been out with Rosie and spotted that a friend I used to see regularly but I thought must be away as we haven’t spoken since last weekend, is actually at home (both cars outside and in a village you can’t get anywhere any other way)
Shall I message her? Or see if I hear first Not holding my breath.

Its hurtful to be ignored. I have spent years wondering why people don't want to be friends anymore. Think it's cruel really.

Thick skin and resilience are needed!

I have not posted for years but know you from another time, another name and could not pass by without sending hugs.
We have much in common but I am lucky to still have my husband.
None of our children live near us and a visit to two of them requires long flights in different directions.
It is hard to be the one who always initiates invitations but that is who we are and please continue to do this. Hopefully, someone will notice your generous spirit and be inspired. But even if not, you need to continue in this vein for to do otherwise would go against your nature.

I know you are very active in so many ways from your posts.. This sadness will pass and you will carry on and find joy in what you do and those you love. If threads get you down, ignore them, or read them as you would any possible work of fiction(!) perhaps.

Bon courage .

The way many of you are writing you would think that GN was all about family and pets.

There are currently nearly 40 threads on GN that are not about families and you can always start more of your own.

I have never had family living close to me DS and the DGC live 200 miles away. I have never played a day to day part in their lives.

I think women get far too dependent on their families. I have always had a life of my own. My DH's work involved frequent foreign travel to remote parts of the world for unknown periods of time. I had my own career and I have my own interests, own friends and own pursuits.

I also have a wonderful loving family. We go on holiday together and DS and DGS will be with us next week. We are moving to live quite close to our DD.

I do understand having down days when everything closes in on us, and I hope this is all RosieandherMaw is having but we are all responsible for our own lives and should not be dependent on our children, or any other one thing for our happiness and content.

Two points from me.
One I actually believe this should be a primary reason for gn. apart from the obvious of sharing grandparents views. Sharing perspectives from an older generation and loneliness has got to be major.
The other is that if it weren’t for organisers like you who I thank personally and wholly admire then we would be in a mess. It’s not something I’m able to do easily if at all probably.

I'm sorry to read this, and that others have these lonely feelings when reading GN. Are there other forum sites specifically aimed for lonely people, or even widows? It would be kind of comforting to chat with other posters who understand.

I like it on GN when posters talk about their families, their travels, their activities. Anything goes really. I don't think anyone is trying to talk about how narvellous their life is, just chatting. In fact, I think posters keep their comments to a minimum. I've been doing alot of cultural stuff this week with the grandchildren - visiting DDay museums, landing beaches, Bayeux Tapestry - but I wouldn't write on GN about it because I doubt if anyone would be interested.

Hopefully it’s just one of those down in the dumps days RosieandherMaw. We all have them .

I’m always advocating the U3A. So much choice of classes, outings, meet-ups, you could be doing something all day and everyday. It was created for just the fact that older people need/want social activities. Ive met so many people who have become good friends.

I’m very mindful of others who are lonely , when I post my ‘doings’ and hopefully don’t make people feel sad.

Take care and chin up, tomorrow is another day and a new beginning. 🙏

M0nica your perspective is of a married person..and you always sound super confident..when you’re single/widowed or never had close family connections, it’s totally alienating at times to read about others much more fulfilled lives…

RosiendherMaw just read thru some of my posts and you will understand how I feel about life in general ATM ..
Wishing you brighter days and other GNs who feel out of sorts 💐

Sometimes there’s an element of competitiveness in who’s doing the most, having the best time ever, blah blah blah. But are they really? One of my adult children lives abroad and we have to make do with yearly visits if we are lucky. I’ve got friends who tend to drone on and on about their families, grandchildren etc but my solution is to limit my chats with them. I’ve others who are not so self absorbed which balances it out a bit. Maybe that’s the solution here too? Avoid those who make you feel less than and join in on others.
Hope tomorrow is a better day for you.

RosieandherMaw you're not alone feeling as you do. I live alone and have no siblings and my children live some way away. I've also given up on some threads as they make me feel even worse at times.

And can I just say - hesitantly, I'm really not meaning to offend - but when someone opens up about their loneliness and being totally ON THEIR OWN - others coming along and saying they know how the poster feels and then going on to say I only have my DH or I only have xx children at home- well in that case you're not totally alone so you don't know what it's like. It's kind of patronising in a way.

You can sympathise with the OP and try to cheer them a little, but if you're not totally alone, then you can't empathise.

Very well said ferry23.

Its hurtful to be ignored. I have spent years wondering why people don't want to be friends anymore. Think it's cruel really.

In the village I live nearest to, about half the houses at least, have happened to change hands in the last few years.
Just about none of the new people talk with each other.
Doesnt matter to me. Mainly I just drive through.
But the people who have lived there for decades, have noticed a big change.

Perhaps we need a light-hearted ‘boring morning’ thread to level things out a bit.
My contribution today would have been ‘Took a broken mop, an old picture frame and some worn out windscreen wiper blades to the tip. Considered clearing out the cupboard under the stairs. But didn’t.’

I would join!

I personally am a mixture of days.

I am sorry you are feeling low Maw. I think with Easter looming it makes family time seem more important.

My children live far away and I have no siblings. I don't post on the morning thread because I often have nothing to say and also I am quite a private person.
Those with family around them are lucky indeed but I know you usually make the most of what you have and I hope this feeling will soon pass.

Yes why not contact your neighbour? Nothing wrong with you being the instigator. People who know you will have come to expect it.

Sending you a hug.

Sorry to hear you're feeling low, RosieandherMaw. I hope it'll pass and you'll feel more cheerful soon. I always love your posts and I'm sure I'm not the only one on here!

RosieandherMaw

I think most would say their worst would be to lose a treasured wonderful supportive spouse - I'm truly sorry for widows. I'd be very lost and lonely without my darling husband listening.

I love to read your posts, please keep posting humourous and sad.