Old Age is a Country

My late mum loved the poem “When I am Old I shall Wear Purple”.
She has a great interest in people and a curiosity about new stuff. It kept her young at heart. She was witty and spoke her mind. Feisty really. She died peacefully at the age of 86y.

I would like to go to Paradise by way of Tangasseri….

So my slide into older age has been gradual, just one little step at a time

I think you may be onto something here, Tachinan. Perhaps your profession helps with this.

What is a very true statement is ‘it’s better than the alternative.’

As my friend used to say when she was struggling to work and care for her mother "Old age doesn't come on its own".
Sadly, she died suddenly and never found out what her old age might bring, (and before her mother).

I focus on the advantages of old age. I enjoy being retired. No more daily commuting. I still do all the things I enjoyed when I was younger but my walks are shorter due to arthritic hips.
I have been a widow for a long time and have learnt to enjoy my singleness. It took a while but I like my freedom to do what I want without having to consider someone else.
There are downsides of course but I try to deal with them as they arise and get on as well as I can.

I'm with you Scribbles and JenniferEccles .
Most of us here will have witnessed the demise of a friend or family member betimes. I suspect that each of them would have given all they had for the chance to grow old.
It's a privilege which I don't take for granted, tough though the journey be sometimes

I don’t expect to live to Old old age - my parents were both under 80 when they died . I’ve enjoyed the freedom retirement has brought - time to smell the roses.

Lathyrus I like your sentiment ‘all the big stuff is over’.

FGT I love the Purple poem too.

FGT my son gave me that poem in the form of a booklet for my 60th birthday almost 24 years ago! I still don't wear purple - that's an old person's colour 😉 - but I wear every other colour under the sun. My home is colourful too - some people might say they need sunglasses to enter 😂

PS - I shall return the compliment in a couple of years' time when he turns 60!!

I'm 87 now and apart from chronic back pain I'm in reasonable health.
I find that the stoicism I developed in a difficult childhood stands me in good stead now. I just keep plodding on, -until I can't any more.
One or two warning signs lately are a bit scary.

Be always sad that on my gravestone I’ll have

She kept going on

People say it’s appropriate 😬

I struggle with an older body - health-wise and looks-wise. Even though anyone who guesses my age seems to normally put it at 10 years younger than I am.

But I still won't look in mirrors if I can possibly help it - as I was used to seeing an attractive woman looking back at me. She seems to have vanished and I'm seeing someone very different to that now and I don't like the look of her.

It's giving one's body a mental kick up the backside from pulling health problems on you that you wonder if you're going to be able to get rid of - as other people seem to think you arent and you must resign yourself to that thing called "chronic illness" - err...nope.

It's thinking "I'm not going to that class/event/whatever - as it's specifically there for older people. I self-identify as either middle-aged or hundreds of thousands of years old (ie taking into account all the lives I've had - aka reincarnation). I certainly don't identify as the age my body is currently.

Old age is better than the alternative.

Old age to me is a pretty familiar territory, after watching, caring for and listening to my mother who died at 101.

I learned a lot from that, and whilst time is whizzing far too quickly, I actually don’t mind getting older.

It is part of living.

That's exactly it Whitewave! Old age is part of living - and aren't we lucky to get this far.

Yep- life is a series of ups and downs isn't it? I remember when my DD was born and I went to buy myself a new outfit and thought, 'I'm old now so I better change my style!'

When I reached 60 I thought, 'I'm old now so I'll change my hairstyle.'

When I finished work and claimed my pension I thought, 'I'm not working anymore so I'd better live on a budget.'

The thing is- I don't feel old at all. I am manging fine thankyou jjust being myself- wearing what I like, doing what I want with my hair and spending too much!

Just living my life until it's over- isn't that what we all do?

Recently my DD said I was getting old- I just turned round and said, 'So are you.'

We're all going the same way...

So many wise words here… all very comforting. I feel getting old is like learning a new skill…

Taichinan - that’s a lovely room !

Some lovely poignant posts here.💕

Your room looks very welcoming Taichinan

I am grateful for the words on here. I wish DH had been spared so we could have aged together but it wasn't meant to be.

My own DM was widowed at 39, had a very full and active life and died at 93.

She occasionally felt self pity and loneliness but she often said she didn't feel any different inside her head from when she was 18.

lafergar

Sadly, somebody tore up my map.

I hope and trust you can find a fellow traveller near you who is able and willing to share their map with you.

I fell into conversation the other day with another widow who, like me, was bringing flowers to her husband's grave - it really helped us both.

I do so hope you somewhere can find someone like the lady I met.

RosieandherMaw

And widowhood is a foreign country in which we find ourselves unwilling immigrants.

Got to live with them both though

Very true!!!

I am now 79 and a widow living alone. Whilst intellectually accepting that I am older (not old!) I still find that in some circumstances my body or my mind tends to forget. Allowing enough time to walk somewhere as I am now, is both frustrating and irritating, as have always been a fast walker up previously . . I plan some journey and of course in the car that still matches but I know how long it used to take me to visit somewhere , or walk along a promenade or whatever, and have to remind myself to add on a fair bit longer these days. On bad days I know however much better that cafe upstairs is, I would struggle to get up the stairs, so it has to wait for a better day.

I think the hardest thing is to now have to be vague or put a sort of condition on arrangements. So I would suggest a visit to the coast or up the dales to a friend and we would make a picnic and off we would go. These days I always have to put in the proviso that my back will allow me to do whatever it is, so have to be able to ring up and have a rain check on the date if I am having a tough day, but I hate having to admit defeat, and would rather go equipped with my binoculars, so that whilst I cant walk with the others I can look at birds, shipping or get a closer view of blossom up the dale.
Still as the saying goes better than the alternative!

I have found 2 books by Dr. Lucy Pollock helpful in navigating this’new country’. ‘ The Book about Getting Older ‘- for people who don’t want to talk about it , and ‘ The Golden Rule’ -Lessons in living from a doctor of ageing’.