out of the mouth of babes

My oldest granddaughter, when she was four was telling my DH about the amount of money she had in her purse.My DH said to her that having all that money she must be a rich girl.DGD replied, ''I not a rich girl, I am (Christian name).''
My great grandson when at nursery , was playing at being hippos with the other children.They had to crawl around on all fours.DGGS accidentally trod on another child's hand ad was told to say sorry.His reply was hippos do not say sorry.

When he was about 7 my nephew proudly announced he’d had sex at school today!

After a lot of gentle questioning we found out he meant secs (seconds) of pudding!

One of my GSs was going to be in the reception Nativity play. He wanted to be a dinosaur, as he had the costume, but they insisted that he be a sheep.

His sheep costume was hanging up ready to be taken in for the play. He had packed his dinosaur costume in his backpack and when DD said he had to take the sheep costume he looked up at her and said "I am definitely not wearing that sheep."

Aged barely 2, my younger daughter flung her arms almost painfully tight around my neck, and explained, “This is called Loving. It’s a bit like Strangling”

And oh, ‘tis true, ‘‘tis true!

When my husband was giving the best man speech at his brother's wedding, he said how glad we were that he'd found his wife. Our younger child, aged about 2, said in a piercing voice 'NO YOU'RE NOT!!!!! YOU SAID .... ' I'd have loved to hear what he was basing his statement on - we'd never said a word against her, and we were really happy they were getting married!!!!!!!

Anyway, I don't think this was either forgiven OR forgotten, and it's affected our relationship with them drastically!

Years ago I was in a long queue in a local shop (Boots) waiting for the till roll to be changed, which was taking rather a long time.
All was quiet until my daughter, who was then about 3, said in a very loud voice, "Mummy, you've got a bogey up your nose."

Oh, the humiliation. After I eventually paid, I rushed off to find a mirror to check.
There was no bogey !!!!!

My daughter was staying overnight with my parents and she was in the bathroom when my Mum was getting dressed. When it came time for Mum to put her panty girdle on Lizzie said Grandma you will not get all that in there!

When my eldest son was in primary school, he come home one afternoon telling everyone that our priest had taken mass as it was a holiday of obliteration as Jesus had absconded into heaven. We had to correct him and tell him it was a holiday of obligation and that Jesus had ascended into heaven. We still tease him about this and he’s 37😂

My close friends family were on holiday with us. Their 3 yr old was running around a bit in the shop. Mum told her off. Hands on hips and " J* C* mummy, do I HAVE to do everything you tell me straight away!"

For some unfathomable reason my son and his little friend when they were about 7 or 8 used to call bosoms "hopes". You can imagine the what the parents made of that! High Hope's, no hope at all, hopeless. I could go on!! Also my late husband when he went to church as a child used to say " In the name of the Father and of the Son and in the hole he goes"

This was actually me. I was about 7, in the theatre ladies’ room in a ballet interval, and there was a notice saying “Sanitary towels available”. In a loud voice I begged my mother for a sanitary towel. I thought it was some sort of special medicated towel for drying hands. I think my mother was pretty embarrassed!

I should have pointed out that the incident in the Ladies’ room at the theatre was in the 1940s, when such things were not mentioned in public.

Rather more recently, when my son was just four, we were at my brother’s wedding. He (my son) had never been in a church before, and he was fed up with all the waiting about and being quiet. He said very audibly “Well, I think it’s yucky being in church”.

Pushing small DD across cathedral close in pushchair - a VERY fat lady was walking towards us. DD at top of voice: "Mummy, why has that lady got no knees!?" Gulp........

My friend's daughter came in from meeting the new family next door and proudly announced that the lady was a prostitute. It later transpired that she meant Protestant. My friend was mortified, but luckily the new neighbour thought it was hysterical!

I went for dinner with a family who had a friend of mine lodging with them. At the meal table their child, probably 4 or 5 years old, was going round everyone asking how old we were. She came to a fairly elderly lady and instead of asking how old she was she, said "When are you going to die?"! She obviously knew you died when you got old, and thought it was at some fixed point known in advance! Fortunately said old lady was a bit deaf, and didn't hear the question so the child could be silenced before she could ask again. The rest of us were desperately trying to supress our giggles.

Lizzies

My daughter was staying overnight with my parents and she was in the bathroom when my Mum was getting dressed. When it came time for Mum to put her panty girdle on Lizzie said Grandma you will not get all that in there!

My four year old grandson picked up my bra and asked if ‘this thing is to keep those things (pointing at my breasts) tidy?’ Uh, yes!

My husband was telling me that he had found a good way to smooth out the wrinkles when the duvet was on the bed was to drag a coat hanger over it. My eldest granddaughter, who was about 7 at the time, said to him why don’t you try it on your face and amid lots of laughing my husband said what about Nanny? Her reply was “Nanny doesn’t need it!” . She is now my favourite granddaughter

At just under 3, Gdd1 was enjoying the nursery’s play kitchen when one of the staff asked what she was doing in her kitchen.
‘I’m having a glass of wine.’ 😂

Talking of bosoms, Gogo84, at 13 or 14 I was babysitting our neighbour’s children, one of whom was a boy of 10, who was a bit of a handful.
I was trying to get him to calm down and start getting ready for bed, when he suddenly went wide-eyed and said, ‘Hey! You’ve got bosoms!!’

TBH I was secretly so chuffed that anyone had noticed my weeny little 32As!

One of my granddaughters was sat beside my aquarium watching an angel fish. It stopped right in front of her as though watching her too. She looked at us and said "why is he looking at me?" to which my OH replied "he's wondering what it is!". She immediately answered "no he's not, it's because I am beautiful".

Witzend

At just under 3, Gdd1 was enjoying the nursery’s play kitchen when one of the staff asked what she was doing in her kitchen.
‘I’m having a glass of wine.’ 😂

Be sure your sins will find you out 😂

Children in primary school assembly heard chanting the Lord's Prayer:

Our father, in charge in heaven,
Harold be thy name...

If they were identified they got a stern telling off!