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Barbara Windsor why are some people up in arms?

(62 Posts)
infoman Mon 19-May-25 04:07:38

Her Husband has started "holding hands" with a new friend,
why do some people think its wrong?
Five years have gone by since Barbara Windsor left us,
is there a time limit when we are not allowed to find fresh love?

V3ra Mon 19-May-25 11:02:00

www.independent.co.uk/life-style/scott-mitchell-barbara-windsor-relationship-backlash-tanya-franks-b2753220.html#comments-area

As it’s Alzheimer’s and Dementia awareness week, how about focusing on all the good work he has done in highlighting these dreadful illnesses along with the thousands of pounds he has raised by running marathons etc.?

GrannyGravy13 Indeed!
And that's how Scott and Tanya met 🙂

Homestead62 Mon 19-May-25 11:46:00

I don't know much about Barbara's husband, but the little I do know he looked after her and seemed to love her very much. Five years is a lot more respectful than some I've known. I don't think Barbara would grudge him that wee piece of possible happiness, she didn't strike me like that. At least he's not like these men that are out looking for the newest model ( usually to housekeep and look after them) and the first wife/ partner has only recently died. As they say ' women mourn, men replace'. Sadly, I've seen more than a few men like that.

crazyH Mon 19-May-25 12:30:47

Homestead - some women also replace . My friend’s adoring husband (he would have walked on coals for her) passed away about 2 years ago. Hardly had he been laid to rest, she started ‘dating’ his friend. She is 85 years old. I’m not being ageist, but surely !!!
I have cooled off my friendship with her - there are only two things she talks about now, her money and her sex life….

Anniebach Mon 19-May-25 12:41:23

It has nothing to do with others, if people are free to marry
it’s their choice , their life.

I was widowed 49 years ago, didn’t marry again, my decision,

infoman Mon 19-May-25 13:11:17

Jaxjacky: a very cheap shot at a disease that effects so many of us in our age group?

emilie Mon 19-May-25 13:38:14

Never heard of Barbara Windsor.

Pinkrinse Mon 19-May-25 13:41:20

She had been ill for a long time, that’s hard on him, and when someone’s long term sick you do most of your grieving whilst their still here.

Galton Mon 19-May-25 13:48:25

crazyH

Homestead - some women also replace . My friend’s adoring husband (he would have walked on coals for her) passed away about 2 years ago. Hardly had he been laid to rest, she started ‘dating’ his friend. She is 85 years old. I’m not being ageist, but surely !!!
I have cooled off my friendship with her - there are only two things she talks about now, her money and her sex life….

Money may be but sex life at 85. Come on. Even if she can, can he. Some people like the people on TV seem to think it is one upmanship (sorry about the pun) to talk like this. Dont blame you for keeping your distance.

TheWeirdoAgain1 Mon 19-May-25 14:08:55

Good on them both is what I say!

Jaxjacky Mon 19-May-25 14:17:22

infoman

Jaxjacky: a very cheap shot at a disease that effects so many of us in our age group?

A disease?
I have never heard of a widower finding a new partner as that.
I agree with others, you have quoted an unnamed source ‘some people thing it’s wrong’, I’d say, from the random sample on here, the vast majority of other people think it’s fine.

AuntieE Mon 19-May-25 14:17:50

Honestly? Are you proposing seriously to discuss when a widow or widower is allowed to be happy again?

Let me be clear: I have no intention of looking for another husband. I love the one I had for too short a time, and at 73, I don't feel the need for a new man in my life. My husband told me when he knew he was dying to promise him I would enjoy the rest of my life and do whatever I wished, and that included a lover or new husband. I would have said the same to him, if I had been the one to go first,

But that's just me.

It is the business of the bereaved person and the person who comes into their life, or assumes a new importance if already known, if they want to live together, marry or just be good friends.

It does not, and cannot, concern anyone else.

Do you go telling those poor souls who have lost a baby, or an older child, when it would be "decent" to try and have another child?

If not, why are you bothering about what widows and widowers choose to do and when they choose to do it.

Be glad that the bereaved are still able to enjoy their lives!

Ilovedogs22 Mon 19-May-25 14:30:47

BlueBelle

Why are we even discussing this, it’s his business, and everyone’s is so different

Because its rather an interesting topic BlueBelle.😉

Labradora Mon 19-May-25 14:36:33

Dickens

^Barbara Windsor why are some people up in arms?^

Maybe because they are the "some people" who permanently need to be up in arms about anyone or anything that exists outside their own narrow world view?

Tough but True.
Good luck to him and to his new lady.
None of our business.

Allira Mon 19-May-25 14:49:21

Honestly? Are you proposing seriously to discuss when a widow or widower is allowed to be happy again?

Who are you addressing, AuntE.

I'm puzzled as most on this thread think it's fine as does infoman and I think all of us think it's none of our business.

Five years is a long time and Scott would probably have lost Barbara before that time anyway.

Mt61 Mon 19-May-25 15:30:13

He seems a lovely bloke, it’s been five since Babs died. Does he not deserve a bit of happiness, especially after all the Alzheimer’s awareness he raised.
Wishing him all the best😊

Lizzie44 Mon 19-May-25 15:30:50

Nobody's business except the couple themselves and their families.

RillaofIngleside Mon 19-May-25 15:35:58

I hope he finds happiness again, he seemed to care for her devotedly.
I think I read somewhere that widowed people from previously happy marriages are more likely to remarry quickly, because they value the companionship and know how happy marriages work.

Madmeg Mon 19-May-25 15:43:49

My DSiL's mum died when he was a teenager (now 46) and his dad, prob in his 40s) remarried an old flame (divorced for some years) 9 months later. Two of his children and several other close rellies have never spoken to either of them since.

I've met Barbara twice when I was abt 16, she was a lovely woman. She'd probably be glad for her DH.

Yorkshirebel Mon 19-May-25 15:48:02

Ten years after my husband died I married his best friend.Our local professional gossip told the village knit and natter group that we had definitely been having an affair before my first husband died.She was quite wrong but some of them still believed her

Cateq Mon 19-May-25 16:08:36

Cabbie21 there was a post on the daily mail in which people were commenting how it’s too soon for Scott to have found love again

Homestead62 Mon 19-May-25 16:41:06

CrazyH that sounds a nightmare. Fortunately the few friends I have never discuss sex or money, to be honest, like you, if they did I would be distancing myself. I've known really no women that did that, but fair enough that you know it happens. Sometimes I do wonder if some folks just cannot be alone. Sadly I think it's how so many people get caught up in romance scams. I mean no judgement of anyone, though I do find it unseemly how quickly some people move on.

kircubbin2000 Mon 19-May-25 20:48:17

I dated briefly 2 widowers. Both 6 weeks after the death.
The main worry was that they would never have sex again.
Another friend married the girl he met 6 weeks after wife's death.

Flutterby345 Mon 19-May-25 20:57:58

Loved the clip, Elegran. My grandmother used to sing this, she went to the music halls.

kircubbin2000 Mon 19-May-25 20:58:11

emilie

Never heard of Barbara Windsor.

Really?

Ladyleftfieldlover Mon 19-May-25 21:08:26

My father died suddenly in September 1978. Mum married again in December 1980. He was 12 years younger. I have to admit my brother, sister and I were shocked but accepted the situation. In fact he is godfather to my three children.