Bus embarrassment

I am always grateful if someone stands up for me. Also I don’t want to turn them down and perhaps put them off doing the same for someone else.

Well that’s kind of you and the world needs more of your sort.
It’s not just age but disability isn't it? Even older people should stand for those of any age that can’t stand for long.But never be embarrassed to accept a seat kindly offered.

Ah, I remember the first time I was offered a seat on the bus.

It was about 5 years ago. The bus was full of school / college youngsters so I was standing - no problem. A young lad stood up and offered me his seat. I simultaneously wanted to say ‘thank you’ and ‘no thank you’.

I accepted the seat with a smile as I didn’t want to appear to ‘snub’ the kind gesture of a young man … but it did make me think that, in his eyes, I must look old🙈

Isn't it common politeness to stand up for people who are older or who might be disabled?

I think it is polite to offer a seat to someone who is older, I dont understand the feeling of embarrassment. You referred to the person as a young lady, I am assuming therefor that she was younger than you.

I always accept even if I don't need it simply because I don't want the person to stop offering.

On the other hand I've given up my seat to people who didn't even bother to say thank you, just pushed past me.

I am in my 80s, have mobility problems and use a stick, but I would give up my seat if somebody came on the bus who really needed one.

It does irritate me seeing young folk taking up a disabled seat and looking down if I look in their direction! I would never ask for a seat, but I have made a sarcastic comment when leaving.

I’ve been visibly disabled for years and really need to sit down on buses. Most people are kind and I am grateful for that. The only exception has been a man who put his shopping bag on the empty disabled seat, then tutted and muttered rude words under his breath when I asked him, politely, to move it.

I was offered seats when pregnant so don't see what the problem is now!

I’m always grateful to be offered a seat. Standing simply hurts.

What embarrasses me is the rudeness of some folk when offered a seat. Not a thank you, not a smile just a scowl. We often need to use a bus which passes a senior school, pick the wrong time and the downstairs seats can be full. Always but always several of the young people move to let us and any other older person sit. There’s a thank you with a smile from us, sadly that’s not always the case with others.

I would not feel bad about it at all! I think it is common courtesy to offer a seat to anyone older than yourself, or perhaps more burdened (with children or shopping).

People who offer a seat are showing kindness and empathy. We should reward these traits with a smile and a thank you, if we want to encourage these in society.

I'm in my 70's and occasionally people will offer me their seat, I take it if my back is sore. They're more likely to offer my young grandchildren a seat to be honest, they're not always very steady on their feet and often get swamped by taller people standing around them so they can't hold on to anything.
I do get a bit irritated when there are older children occupying the priority seats, often there are people who need them. This is particularly common at the time of the afternoon school run when the whole bus is swamped by pushy shovey school children.

Blossoming

I’ve been visibly disabled for years and really need to sit down on buses. Most people are kind and I am grateful for that. The only exception has been a man who put his shopping bag on the empty disabled seat, then tutted and muttered rude words under his breath when I asked him, politely, to move it.

I'm not disabled but have absolutely no compunction about asking anybody who has a bag on any seat to move it so that I can sit down. They often scowl and don't usually want to move across to give me room, sometimes making a show of tutting and standing up to let me in. They're even more thrilled when they have to stand up again to let me out! It seems to be a speciality of adoloscent boys with school backpacks.

I'm 57 but need a seat. I use a crutch due to mobility problems. I rarely use public transport but seriously cannot imagine being embarrassed by being offered a seat. I'd be grateful. The same would apply even without my issues.

LizzieDrip

Ah, I remember the first time I was offered a seat on the bus.

It was about 5 years ago. The bus was full of school / college youngsters so I was standing - no problem. A young lad stood up and offered me his seat. I simultaneously wanted to say ‘thank you’ and ‘no thank you’.

I accepted the seat with a smile as I didn’t want to appear to ‘snub’ the kind gesture of a young man … but it did make me think that, in his eyes, I must look old🙈

I doubt you look old to him, just grown-up.

He has obviously been brought up as I was in the 1950s when children automatically rose to give an adult a set!

I took my grandson on a bus ride when he was under 4. When more people got on I tried to get him to sit on my lap so someone else could sit down but he was very reluctant. He hadn't been on a bus much as the family go out by car or on foot most of the time so didn't understand the etiquette. I didn't want him to kick off, and the person standing insisted he was ok, but I realise he needs it explaining next time. Fortunately the bus was pretty empty on the way home so no issues.
When I commuted into Loondon back in 1976 I was shocked that a young man remained seated while a pregnant woman was standing! I gave her my seat - very necessary in that hot Summer! He continued to look away! I was young then so not a problem for me but I did think he was very rude!

I'm always grateful to be offered a seat, I just think to myself how nice that there are still some polite/respectful people in the world contrary to what we so often read in the papers. Strangely I have found that on the tube in London the people who offer a seat are usually foreigners.

I don’t see why you should be embarrassed. I can’t say I exactly relish having bus seats offered to me - it’s happening rather more now at my great age - 76😱! - but thank goodness I’m very far from decrepit, so I usually just say - nicely! - ‘Thank you, but I’m fine,’ and hope they might offer it to someone who really needs it - I hope I don’t look as if I do (apart from obviously being no longer a spring chicken).

Should add that most bus journeys I take - a lot - will take less than about 15 minutes, so no big deal - for me - to stand.

I think you are being a bit touchy abd over sensitive. I think the young person is to be applauded.

Blossoming

I’ve been visibly disabled for years and really need to sit down on buses. Most people are kind and I am grateful for that. The only exception has been a man who put his shopping bag on the empty disabled seat, then tutted and muttered rude words under his breath when I asked him, politely, to move it.

Just commiserate with him being Dyslexic, in a very loud voice.

I have just come back from a train journey and at one point where we changed trains a smart woman aged about 40 offered to help me with my case. I declined politely but it did not embarrass me. I am glad to live in a society where help can still be offered freely.

Cabbie21

I have just come back from a train journey and at one point where we changed trains a smart woman aged about 40 offered to help me with my case. I declined politely but it did not embarrass me. I am glad to live in a society where help can still be offered freely.

It was a few years ago now, but I still think with gratitude of the lovely man who, without a word - carried my fairly heavy suitcase for me up a longish flight of steps at Vauxhall station. As I told him (with thanks!) I had come by train all the way from Dijon.

And I still had another train plus a bus journey to go.

LizzieDrip

Ah, I remember the first time I was offered a seat on the bus.

It was about 5 years ago. The bus was full of school / college youngsters so I was standing - no problem. A young lad stood up and offered me his seat. I simultaneously wanted to say ‘thank you’ and ‘no thank you’.

I accepted the seat with a smile as I didn’t want to appear to ‘snub’ the kind gesture of a young man … but it did make me think that, in his eyes, I must look old🙈

Age is relative, and if you are old enough to be his mum then you ARE old in his eyes, and his mum brought him up well:

1. One of my Rainbows suggested that my 16 year old young leader was older than my 54 years because she could not do the head over heels that I had just demo'd
2. Because my name is similar to head of infants at my local school (around 32), I (62) was asked if I was his wife .
3. Holding the door for the group of little ones going through, I was asked if I was having a baby (I guessed what perhaps her mum was, and I replied that I (70) was just fat)

So do not take it personally - it just proves that you look like a grown-up