Bully from school

M0nica

Einna

Bearing a grudge over a long time is like taking poison and expecting the other person to die.

Absolutely brilliant and absolutely true.

I totally agree, it can turn into a form of self-harming.

Astitchintime

Then confront her……perfect opportunity approaching.

Word it something like this…….
You………good morning/afternoon, how are you?
Bully…….good morning/afternoon, I’m fine thanks, how are you?
You………I’m doing fine……..now! But would like to point out that you bullied me relentlessly for X years way back in ***. Your behaviour was vile, destructive and completely unwarranted! So, jog on, get out of my sight you nasty pathetic excuse for a human being, Alternative, cut it short and tell her to “Foxtrot Oscar”!

Absolutely love this !

Maybe a better approach would be to pretend you don’t even remember her!

Having read your further comments in this thread Thistle2016 I would strong advise you not to go and also to seek some professional help, counselling or therapy. I really feel saddened by the damage this pupil has clearly caused to you and feel that you will never get acknowledgement or closure in the way in which you seek, so please please seek it through other avenues.

I wish you luck

Wondering if this thread is for real. Perhaps I just have a suspicious mind ( quite likely given some of my experiences in my working life ) .

Magenta8

Thistle2016

Hello everyone I do not have any consideration how they feel only how I feel
F them so why is there is this issue and please no issue required

If they are for real, the above post says everything we need to know about the OP.

I had the same thought nanna8.

I think it's real. The text suggests English is not the first language. I also think the OP has gone.

Maybe there will be a thread next week about someone confronting their school bully and got publicly abused by her and her life is now in ruins.

If you do confront her don't expect to come out of it with any sort of satisfaction or closure. It will stir the whole thing up for you. It might be better if you don't go.
I know how you feel. I was bullied when I came to NZ from the UK when I was 11. Its affected my self esteem. I don't allow myself to dwell on it and would run a mile from any of those people.

No point in giving it the big one now, you should have done that at school, then maybe you wouldn't have been bullied, I always taught my kids to stand up for them selves, even if they came off the worst, bullies do tend to leave you alone, if they know your not going to be an easy touch

Enjoy the occasion, and just ignore the bully like she's just not there

MickyT

No point in giving it the big one now, you should have done that at school, then maybe you wouldn't have been bullied, I always taught my kids to stand up for them selves, even if they came off the worst, bullies do tend to leave you alone, if they know your not going to be an easy touch

Victim blaming at its finest...

I'm just making a point ViceVersa,
I never got bullied at school or anywhere else for that matter, neither did my brother, my sons, or my daughter......... So!!

MickyT

I'm just making a point ViceVersa,
I never got bullied at school or anywhere else for that matter, neither did my brother, my sons, or my daughter......... So!!

My point is that it's not the victim who is at fault but the bully. Yes, I told my children the same thing, and they did stand up for themselves, but not everyone is able to do that - and sometimes when they do, they're the ones who get into trouble. Bullying leaves lifelong scars on the victims - sometimes both mental and physical - and it's the bullies who need dealt with.

The poster posted AFTER she had already decided how to handle things she just wanted confirmation but she has got different answers to those she expected she knows exactly what she is going to do at the party/ occasion whatever it is very few here agree with her perceived actions but she’s going to have her moment whatever, so I hope it goes well for her perhaps she will come back and tell us …..or perhaps she won’t

I was in your situation about 10+ years ago when I agreed to go to a school reunion. There would probably have been there twins (girls) who "ran" rival gangs at my primary school where I and perhaps two other girls were the only ones in our class who did not live on a nearby council housing estate.
They made my life a misery , I came to dread playtime and end of school and would make excuses to stay behind to help our teacher, or wait for mum to walk over with the dog. (In those days even primary children were expected to make their own way to and from school.)
Anyway, yes they were both there and greeted me so warmly that all my resentment of 60 years melted away.
I realise that what had felt like bullying was little more than tomboy rough and tumble- they had brothers, while I only one sister, and they "played rough" while I was only allowed to "play nice".
I'm glad I said nothing, and I'm glad I felt 100% able to forgive them.

The OP's initial statement read more like "This is what I am going to do" rather than "Should I do this? What do GNs think?"

The whole tone of her replies was dismissive at best.

From the OP's point of view it was all a bit pointless, apart from point scoring but it has stimulated a lot of replies and discussion.

Allira

^So yes, I can wreck your life too.^
!!!

*So yes, it can wreck your life too*

but only if you choose to let it do so.

We cannot control what happens to us in life, but what is entirely in our control is how we respond to it.

This all sounds a bit strange if it is real. But, if it is, the best thing would be to go, enjoy yourself, ignore the bully and if she approaches you say something like I’d never have recognised you, have you had plastic surgery, and walk away.

RosieandherMaw

I was in your situation about 10+ years ago when I agreed to go to a school reunion. There would probably have been there twins (girls) who "ran" rival gangs at my primary school where I and perhaps two other girls were the only ones in our class who did not live on a nearby council housing estate.
They made my life a misery , I came to dread playtime and end of school and would make excuses to stay behind to help our teacher, or wait for mum to walk over with the dog. (In those days even primary children were expected to make their own way to and from school.)
Anyway, yes they were both there and greeted me so warmly that all my resentment of 60 years melted away.
I realise that what had felt like bullying was little more than tomboy rough and tumble- they had brothers, while I only one sister, and they "played rough" while I was only allowed to "play nice".
I'm glad I said nothing, and I'm glad I felt 100% able to forgive them.

I suspect the OP has gone, but she would have done well to read this pertinent post by Rosieandhermaw. I suspect this would be the situation years later with many bullies / perceived bullies. They thought of it as a bit of fun (not that that excuses the effects), and many would be astonished to be told their actions had had such consequences as the OP describes.

I sometimes think the word ‘bullying’ is banded about too much these days.

I agreeJenniferEccles

So what would you class as bullying then?

I would say in a very loud voice
"Bullied anyone lately"

When they look, I would then continue with
"Only you were SO good at it when you picked on me years ago. Do you remember ?
( I'd then describe in detail what they did)

Oh I'd certainly voice my opinion
You'll never forgive yourself if you don't.

Good Luck

She is beneath contempt. I wouldn't bother to speak to her, don't stoop to her standards.

JdotJ

I would say in a very loud voice
"Bullied anyone lately"

When they look, I would then continue with
"Only you were SO good at it when you picked on me years ago. Do you remember ?
( I'd then describe in detail what they did)

Oh I'd certainly voice my opinion
You'll never forgive yourself if you don't.

Good Luck

Wow!