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Bully from school

(112 Posts)
Thistle2016 Thu 03-Jul-25 17:09:59

I am about to meet on a social occasion my bully from 45 years ago. I do not wish to disregard the impact that she had on me, it was absolutely terrible and if you have not gone through systematic bullying you have no idea, but I want her acknowledge her appalling behaviour.

62Granny Fri 04-Jul-25 17:17:20

I would say you don't remember her, " Sorry what is your name? " if she persist, I would say , "Oh yeh I think I remember you, you were a bully if I remember rightly" then turn your back on her and walk away.

Milsa Fri 04-Jul-25 17:18:19

Do you really need going to people's places who invite bullies ???? Can't you just shrug it off, cancel the invitation and mind your own life and business so many decades on

Mollygo Fri 04-Jul-25 17:53:26

JenniferEccles

I sometimes think the word ‘bullying’ is banded about too much these days.

To a certain extent I agree.
However, I think the bullying that goes on now can be more pernicious, because of the means available.
I recall jeers about my name, behaviour in the showers, fear of the journey to and from school or waiting till the bullies had gone down before attempting the multiple flights of stairs between classes among other things.
Nowadays the internet plays an increasing part. The jeers, the threats, the use of photos, can all be delivered online. The digs and hints about what’s on there and the threats of what else can be done are hard to ignore.
And other more recent ways of bullying which I’ve mentioned before, didn’t exist when I was at school.

We take the view that any mentions of bullying need to be investigated and dealt with.
But dealing with a parent whose child A feels bullied by being excluded from games and a parent whose child B is upset because child A keeps bullying her son by harassing him, and both parents feels the other child should be excluded is an example of the day to day bullying accusations that start at primary school.

ftm420 Fri 04-Jul-25 19:13:01

I was badly bullied at school. I'm now a member of the FB group set up for my year, but I don't engage. There was a reunion recently and I couldn't being myself to go.

A few years ago one of the girls who beat me up contacted me for a meet up as she had moved to my area and turns out she was in an abusive relationship. I didn't contact her. Karma may have had a hand in why I didn't get in touch with her.

Snowbelle Fri 04-Jul-25 19:30:18

Ignore her she won’t acknowledge any hurt because she doesn’t care about you. It will however hurt her if you ignore her so she sees she is not important to you anymore. Best of luck and so sorry you experienced this.

kittylester Fri 04-Jul-25 19:40:33

I have had contact with one of the bullies gang. I suspect she took the line of least resistance. But, also, she was very nice about the leader of the gang.

Magenta8 Fri 04-Jul-25 21:03:44

I was talking about bullying to one of my GCs this evening and they reminded me that, a few years ago, a girl at their school had committed suicide as a result of prolonged and intense bullying by a group of girls. Tragic. I wonder how the bullies felt.

Magenta8 Fri 04-Jul-25 21:04:37

This was mainly online bullying apparently.

Skye17 Fri 04-Jul-25 21:34:11

OP (if you're still reading), that should never have happened to you and I'm really sorry it did. Honestly, I'm not sure it would help you to confront that bully. She may well not care, and you could end up even more hurt.

If the Bible is true, there will be complete justice in the end: no-one will get away with anything. And if you believe what the Bible says and come into a trusting relationship with God, he will forgive you for everything you have done wrong (for no one completely keeps God's laws), and will gradually bring you emotional healing. Try the online 321 course.
321.speaklife.org.uk/

GrannyGravy13 Fri 04-Jul-25 21:48:02

kittylester

I have had contact with one of the bullies gang. I suspect she took the line of least resistance. But, also, she was very nice about the leader of the gang.

I met one of my bullies when working in the City, she told a colleague how good I was at languages and how jealous she was of me.

End of, as far as I was concerned.

Norah Fri 04-Jul-25 22:59:57

I'd think it best to ignore her.