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Were the Victorians on to something?

(43 Posts)
Applegran Tue 15-Jul-25 17:56:55

It is easy to think of the Victorians in terms of things we no longer believe - for instance 'Children should be seen and not heard'. I do not recommend saying this to your grandchildren - or their parents!
But the Victorians also said 'Count your blessings' and that strikes me as a good idea. It is so easy to focus on whats wrong in our lives. I know some people are in real pain of different kinds and I wish them relief and healing. But some people who suffer also inspire us by still remembering the good things they have - and the rest of us can forget if we are not careful. It is easy to hold on to things which go wrong ('Isn't that just typical!' ) and take for granted the good things we may have- simple ones like being lucky enough to having a bed to sleep in, clean water to drink, being able to see trees (if there are some in your area) or seeing a beautiful sky. What are others grateful for and does it help you be happier if you count your blessings?

Ashcombe Tue 15-Jul-25 18:16:12

I am. thankful to be enjoying a period of more settled health following months of various problems, including two stays in hospital. From being told last year I should give up driving due to a concerning field of vision test which later proved to be inaccurate, I'm now able to drive long distances including to France where DH lives and to travel by train or car to see offspring who live over 200 miles from me.

I'm blessed to live in a beautiful part of the country (Torbay) with good neighbours and enough money to afford a cruise each year. Volunteering at my local amdram theatre and church involvement gives me regular social contact.

Yes, at 75 I do indeed have reason to count my blessings.

Applegran Tue 15-Jul-25 19:03:51

Ashcombe I am so glad to read about those things you are grateful for and it leads me to add that I had a hip replacement about 7 weeks ago and am so grateful for the speed with which I have done a lot of recovering. I am walking without a stick and feel very lucky.

Ilovedogs22 Tue 15-Jul-25 19:30:28

I count my blessings everyday.
My DH might be a monosyllabic, two-faced, sly, underhand toad of a man sometimes. Yet I'm grateful for so many things; such as my lovely sons, my smashing dog & a nice roof above my head. Also a fat, healthy baby grandson. Oh & not forgetting beer & cake & books & a garden, as well as reasonable good health. 😉

Ashcombe Tue 15-Jul-25 21:04:07

Applegran: you are doing well with your recovery from hip surgery! Well done!

Iam64 Tue 15-Jul-25 21:12:12

Those Victorians left such a legacy for us, if only we had the good sense to use it.
I was brought up in a family where blessings counting was integral. It’s served me well

keepingquiet Tue 15-Jul-25 21:53:54

Let gratitude be your attitude- very much a 21st century saying and nothing to do with the Victorians.

Being grateful for the good things you have is great aim to live by, regardless of what generation you are, or where or when you live.

Milsa Tue 15-Jul-25 22:05:44

No, definitely I work a lot on my blessings counting and keeping under control the pest of negative thinking. I have a home, a small family, tons of greenery here, it is a nature reserve

a job which allows me to use my hands and do not have to lift, drag, move or push heavy stuff or sweat over number of things done in an hour.

Decent man for a husband who grew so much in his faith and genuine manliness since we met. Not perfect but fine

A small car to drive us to a nice beach,
so far the small and useful things in life I do appreciate. Nor a grand life, not super rich though this county is expensive!!!

Lovetotravel Tue 15-Jul-25 22:13:39

Totally agree with you. I always say that there’s someone with more than you but plenty with less and we should be thankful for what we have. As for the Victorians saying that children should be seen and not heard, after me telling our 7 year old granddaughter that when my father was a boy children were seen and not heard my husband told her that the government were bringing in that rule. She looked worried then said ‘grandad, you talk a load of nonsense’.

ginny Tue 15-Jul-25 22:27:31

I have a small notebook and each evening I write down at least one thing that I have done or has happened that I am grateful for.
It is amazing how a small thing can make you feel so good.

Scribbles Tue 15-Jul-25 23:52:40

So many blessings ... a loving partner; good friends for mutual help and support; a comfortable home; sufficient income to pay the bills with a bit left over for some fun; reasonably good health; the peace of my tiny garden and the company of my cat.

Applegran Wed 16-Jul-25 08:55:47

I am loving reading what people are saying they are grateful for - thank you. It is making so clear the things that matter in life. This helps when there are really painful things, and also helps everyday to let go the small blips we do not like - helps keep things in perspective. At this moment I can look out of the window at a tree and green leaves shifting sunshine and shadow in a breeze - and I'm grateful.

argymargy Wed 16-Jul-25 09:13:53

The Victorians certainly didn't invent being grateful (just look at Thanksgiving in the US, for example) and no, I don't think they were "onto" anything much.

Cossy Wed 16-Jul-25 09:15:10

I try hard to count my blessings, as does my DH.

It’s easy to see those who have more, do more, are healthier/richer/slimmer etc but we both believe true happiness comes from family and friends and a feeling of contentment.

Magenta8 Wed 16-Jul-25 10:04:02

argymargy

The Victorians certainly didn't invent being grateful (just look at Thanksgiving in the US, for example) and no, I don't think they were "onto" anything much.

The Victorians introduced many welfare reforms that were far reaching and improved the lives of many people.

I think it fair to say that generally the Victorians exhibited more social conscience than than the few governments have shown.

Magenta8 Wed 16-Jul-25 10:12:15

the last few governments etc.

Applegran Wed 16-Jul-25 10:18:41

I am interested in what people are adding about the Victorians - and of course I agree that the did not invent the idea of being grateful - but they did apparently encourage it. And they did some social reforms too. Something also to be grateful for.

henetha Wed 16-Jul-25 10:29:27

What a lovely thread. It's so easy to get bogged down in moaning about what we lack, perhaps we should count our blessings instead. I am truly grateful to be alive on this amazing planet, and in this country, and particularly in Devon,
such a beautiful county. I look out onto fields and trees and birds and give thanks.

nanna8 Wed 16-Jul-25 10:37:11

I’ve had a lovely life and I have a really good family and friends. The Victorians valued family and kinship perhaps more than many do these days, going on my grandparents and their families. Their entertainment was better in some ways, too. No tvs, gathering round the piano for a singalong. Worse if you were poor perhaps and worse for medical care if you got sick.I can’t say there was less pollution, though, because of the Industrial Revolution and smoke belching out fumes.

AGAA4 Wed 16-Jul-25 10:40:11

I do count my blessings. Four children and six grandchildren are probably enough blessings but I have so much more. I'm looking out onto one of the hills of North Wales and surrounded by lovely countryside. I have good neighbours and absorbing hobbies. Lots to be grateful for.

Magenta8 Wed 16-Jul-25 11:19:54

This is my favourite hymn, it was written by Lizette Woodworth Rees and published in 1909 (slightly too late to be Victorian)

1 Glad that I live am I
That the sky is blue
Glad for the country lanes
And the fall of dew

2 After the sun the rain
After the rain the sun
This is the way of life
Since it all begun (or Til the work be done)
All that we need to do
Be we low or high
Is to see that we grow
Nearer the sky

Crossstitchfan Wed 16-Jul-25 11:34:54

I count my blessings every day. Loving adult children, lovely grandchildren who contact and/or visit regularly, and recently, my first great-grandchild. I have a lovely flat overlooking an interesting and busy view. I don’t need to worry about money.
I have cancer, but apparently it is slow growing and I could go on for years (I am almost 80) and I get very few symptoms.
I have hobbies that I love and the days go too fast.
All good then, but I would give it all up in a heartbeat if I could just have my wonderful husband back.

Scribbles Wed 16-Jul-25 13:16:38

Thank you, Magenta8.. I learned to sing that in my first year at school, a tiny one-classroom village school in Leicestershire. I hadn't thought about it for years and years but now I'm smiling because I can hear the tune in my head and a couple of dozen squeaky voices singing off key. 🤗

Judy54 Wed 16-Jul-25 13:59:10

Yes I do count my blessings and that includes not wanting to have lived in Victorian times unless I was in a well to do family. There was widespread disease, poor living conditions and lack of sanitation. No NHS and no welfare system but then there was always the workhouse!

nanna8 Wed 16-Jul-25 14:05:56

I remember that hymn,too. We sang it at the old Methodist church in London when I was young. Thanks for the memory
Magenta8