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Were the Victorians on to something?

(44 Posts)
Applegran Tue 15-Jul-25 17:56:55

It is easy to think of the Victorians in terms of things we no longer believe - for instance 'Children should be seen and not heard'. I do not recommend saying this to your grandchildren - or their parents!
But the Victorians also said 'Count your blessings' and that strikes me as a good idea. It is so easy to focus on whats wrong in our lives. I know some people are in real pain of different kinds and I wish them relief and healing. But some people who suffer also inspire us by still remembering the good things they have - and the rest of us can forget if we are not careful. It is easy to hold on to things which go wrong ('Isn't that just typical!' ) and take for granted the good things we may have- simple ones like being lucky enough to having a bed to sleep in, clean water to drink, being able to see trees (if there are some in your area) or seeing a beautiful sky. What are others grateful for and does it help you be happier if you count your blessings?

Schnackie2 Wed 16-Jul-25 14:10:31

Thanks for this excellent post! Since becoming an "old woman" (72) and being in a calm place after ten years of retirement, I count my blessings every single day. Having been a paediatric nurse for so many years, my daily morning and evening prayer is "Thank you that my children and grandchildren are HEALTHY and happy". Nothing else is really important.

Nellbell Wed 16-Jul-25 15:29:47

Just had a very small but welcome blessing. Having a blackbird follow me around the garden while I was doing some gardening. He had a mouthful of worms but still had a reccy where I'd been digging.

StoneofDestiny Wed 16-Jul-25 15:32:48

We can always and should count our blessings in the developed world - I'd not liked to have lived in Victorian Times where the poor were denied most of the things freely available to us today.
The next step is sharing our good fortune with those with few blessings available to them.

sazz1 Wed 16-Jul-25 15:48:49

Its been medically proven that wrapping up warm, especially around nose and mouth helps prevent colds, flu etc. The nose when cold is more receptable to cold germs. Hence the old saying wrap up warm or you will catch cold

Bazza Wed 16-Jul-25 15:54:04

I’m also very grateful for my life, family and friends and do count my blessings often. Especially if I watch the news!

Allsaints55 Wed 16-Jul-25 16:13:06

A quote I love from Brendan Kennelly “ Once you wake up in the morning & stick your old leg out, you should be grateful x

cc Wed 16-Jul-25 16:17:33

I always think it is so sad when people are disappointed with their lives, there is always something to be happy about if you make the effort.

AuntieE Wed 16-Jul-25 16:44:56

All my life it has been fashionable to denigrate tje Victorians and the Edwardians, but in my opinion both were on to some things that we have chosen to forget.

They did what they perceived to be their duty and did not complain about it. They believed in the value of good manners and showing consideration for others. They also believed that sex belonged in the privacy of their bedrooms and was not the end-all of adult life.

All highly unpopular notions today, but some of them must have made life pleasanter than today's manners do.

hollysteers Wed 16-Jul-25 17:10:55

I certainly count my blessings but won’t list them as I don’t want to tempt fate or the gods.
As I age, the small things in life bring me great joy, the thought of a tasty evening meal, another book by a favoured author or another episode of a period drama. The details of life are more cherished now, rather than the broad brush of previous years.

We all know a few miserable “being so cheerful keeps me going” types. These I can’t understand, particularly when socialising. They should stay home and mutter to their tellies.
It somehow feels a duty to be cheerful when out and about, unless overwhelmed with something.

I certainly don’t want to return to Victorian times for obvious reasons, but they certainly got their architecture right. My heart bleeds for the loss of so many fine buildings (thank heavens St.Pancras survived!)

Applegran Wed 16-Jul-25 17:11:12

I like this quotation from long ago, reminding us to be grateful for what we have:
Do not spoil what you have by desiring what you have not; remember that what you now have was once among the things you only hoped for.”
― Epicurus

Whingey Wed 16-Jul-25 19:24:34

Talking about worms 🔔. Man was asleep in a park snoring with his mouth open and a bird flew over and dropped a worm in his mouth 😨

Whingey Wed 16-Jul-25 19:26:25

Also a boy in my school said his sister tied worms in a knot

knspol Wed 16-Jul-25 21:20:36

ginny

I have a small notebook and each evening I write down at least one thing that I have done or has happened that I am grateful for.
It is amazing how a small thing can make you feel so good.

What a good idea! I do try to count my blessings, a lovely home, enough money coming in not to have to worry all thanks to my late husband's hard work and thoughtfulness. Reasonable health and above all close family living nearby, I still find it difficult to do this some days.

Sallywally1 Wed 16-Jul-25 22:05:46

I am so very grateful that I am finally, god willing having my shoulder replacement tomorrow morning after months of pain and disability. Thank goodness for our NHS which is free at the point of service. I feel for our ancestors for whom such marvels of surgery anaesthetics and antibiotics were just a dream. We are so lucky. The NHS with all its problems with under funding is always there for us.

Nellbell Wed 16-Jul-25 22:21:19

All the best for tomorrow and wishing you a speedy recovery

Applegran Wed 16-Jul-25 22:27:02

Goodluck Sallywally with your shoulder op.

FranP Wed 16-Jul-25 23:53:22

My blessing is that I am still here! Perhaps not a blessing for others

I do think we have become a nation of moaners and down talking.

My gran lived through 2 world wars, a major influenza epidemic and the great depression, widowed twice with 5 children to feed, had a stroke at 79 and went blind,

She never felt entitled or sat around waiting for someone else to solve her problems, and could still be cheerful and life and soul of the party, getting married to her 3rd husband at 75.

I consider myself blessed

jocork Thu 17-Jul-25 09:18:45

One of the things I learnt during the pandemic was that every cloud had a silver lining. When I couldn't visit my DD for Christmas as it was too far to go for 1 day, the upside was that I didn't have to get my car serviced until the MOT was due in February or drive 400 miles without an overnight break. Spending Christmas alone for the first time ever was sad, but I was grateful for being able to have a zoom call with DD and DS and DiL who were living in different countries.
When our winter fuel allowance was taken away I tried to be grateful that I wasn't quite poor enough to claim pension credit and therefore still get it. It can be hard sometimes, but there is usually a positive in most things - we just have to look harder. Counting one's blessings has to be learnt but it certainly brings contentment.