Gransnet forums

Chat

Why bother

(40 Posts)
Littleannie Mon 18-Aug-25 09:32:44

Why do some members ask for help or advice on something, and then don't bother saying thank you when others take the trouble and time to answer? It has happened to me 3 times recently. I have decided not to bother trying to help any more.
Gone to hide behind the sofa now.

Sago Mon 18-Aug-25 10:05:28

I know how you feel, I wonder if the posters are as rude in real life.

I have often sat and contemplated someone’s dilemma then tried to give a measured response and nothing in return.
It’s just rude.

Magenta8 Mon 18-Aug-25 10:28:14

TBH I neither notice nor care if my advice is acknowledged. Quite often people offer the same information or advice further down a thread so I don't think most GNs read or pay too much attention to anything I post.

I don't remember having asked for advice on GN but if I have, I may not have expressed my gratitude in the approved manner for which I apologise.

Magenta8 Thu 21-Aug-25 16:13:14

See what I mean? I have posted on several chat threads since Monday and it seems to me that I am to be ignored in the hope that I will go away.

BlueBelle Thu 21-Aug-25 16:58:49

You’re being a bit paranoid there Magenta
There are many occasions you don’t get an answer don’t let it bother you

Magenta8 Thu 21-Aug-25 17:11:14

I don't.

JamesandJon33 Thu 21-Aug-25 17:34:08

I very rarely get an answer or even an acknowledgment that I am there. Just accept it now, and am grateful for the few I do get.

BlueBelle Thu 21-Aug-25 17:43:44

But I think that’s the same for most of its isn’t it ?

petra Thu 21-Aug-25 17:44:44

Magenta8

See what I mean? I have posted on several chat threads since Monday and it seems to me that I am to be ignored in the hope that I will go away.

I’ve been on this site for 13 years, I’m ignored most of the time.
Does this face look bovered. No!
As to the op, I’ve given my opinion on this before and I did get replies to that post and they weren’t complementary 😂

petra Thu 21-Aug-25 17:46:48

This is to all those who feel like Billy no mates.
Post something controversial: you’ll get plenty of replies then. 😂

Babs03 Thu 21-Aug-25 18:06:09

I usually get ignored on most forums but have my say anyway, the one thing I’ve noticed is I am a ‘closer’ coming on at the end of a thread and making a comment that marks the end of that thread, so too late to the party. Probs just repeating what others have already said anyway.
But get more responses on news & politics, though not always the responses I want, have to have a thick skin and think on your feet on that forum.
Also have made friends on the support for those estranged forum, which has helped me so much.
Thing is we all get ignored on some threads, but we should keep bothering because we all have something to say whether anyone responds is beside the point, am sure plenty of us read the comments, which is the main thing.

OldFrill Thu 21-Aug-25 18:16:09

petra

This is to all those who feel like Billy no mates.
Post something controversial: you’ll get plenty of replies then. 😂

Spot on!

HelterSkelter1 Thu 21-Aug-25 18:19:01

I dont botber too much about being thanked.....but I so want the OP to come back and say what he/she did in the end. Please please an update.

escaped Thu 21-Aug-25 18:26:13

If I type the first couple of letters of a GN's name in on my phone, three of the names on this thread come up. And many more from the group. So somewhere along the line I have conversed with a lot of people and given them suggestions or advice, or a rollocking, not that that's my style!. 😆 Whether they have all acknowledged my posts I couldn't tell you.

Galaxy Thu 21-Aug-25 18:30:14

I am afraid that I also think a lot of the asking for advice threads are trolls, I don't mean someone asking where to source a particular item for example, those are genuine! But the long complicated family problems ones are mostly trolls in my view.

petra Thu 21-Aug-25 18:43:51

Galaxy

I am afraid that I also think a lot of the asking for advice threads are trolls, I don't mean someone asking where to source a particular item for example, those are genuine! But the long complicated family problems ones are mostly trolls in my view.

I replied to a troll once and gave them my honest opinion 😂
Someone reported me, I got suspended for a week.
The really funny part was: the powers that be deleted the trolls post.
Couldn’t make it up, could you 🤷‍♀️

fancythat Thu 21-Aug-25 18:47:27

I so agree Sago.
I was getting utterly fed up, and then this week someone started a thread and then said thank you about 5 times during the thread!

I am learning which regular posters to not give so many replies too.

If they dont have enough manners to thank people, well I am certainly not going to give advice.

fancythat Thu 21-Aug-25 18:49:11

Galaxy

I am afraid that I also think a lot of the asking for advice threads are trolls, I don't mean someone asking where to source a particular item for example, those are genuine! But the long complicated family problems ones are mostly trolls in my view.

I do wonder that too.

I normally give one answer and then wait.

If an op does not reply, I dont give any further replies or answers.

Galaxy Thu 21-Aug-25 18:50:58

I told a troll they were a troll the other day Petra. I wasn't very polite. The thread was deleted but I did think I would get a telling off!

fancythat Thu 21-Aug-25 18:51:44

Magenta8

See what I mean? I have posted on several chat threads since Monday and it seems to me that I am to be ignored in the hope that I will go away.

Good gosh no. I wouldnt have thought so.

Personally, hving gcs here like many other grannies atm, I am barely on here lately.

First time I have noticed this particular thread.

I suspect there have been about 50 threads this week that have all passed me by.

petra Thu 21-Aug-25 18:57:17

How about we have a day where we all reply to every post
Think about it.

valdavi Thu 21-Aug-25 19:08:23

I've asked for advice, I've read it & absorbed it & it's been useful. Have I said thanks? Not sure. If it's something practical, why would you? Don't people like sharing their knowledge?, & they don't have to reply. Gransnet wouldn't be much without any OPs.
IF its a really personal, emotional thing & someone absolutely gets that & comforts me, then I would definitely appreciate that & say thanks. Saying thanks just because you've posed a question & someone's answered feels like the dreaded thank-you letters we had to write on Boxing day when we would've liked to be playing / helping on the farm / chilling instead.

fancythat Thu 21-Aug-25 19:15:33

I've asked for advice, I've read it & absorbed it & it's been useful. Have I said thanks? Not sure

Like Sago said, manners.

Oh I am learning on here.

Rosie51 Thu 21-Aug-25 19:24:55

I don't think there's a need to always thank every individual poster that replies, I think a general "thanks all for your suggestions, plenty to consider" type of response is fine. I do agree it would be nice if posters gave an update, but some do the original post and then don't appear on the thread again.

fancythat Thu 21-Aug-25 19:28:32

Agree with all of that Rosie51.