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How to feel an idiot…

(34 Posts)
Lemonred Mon 01-Sept-25 18:16:17

My youngest granddaughter is here for dinner. She asked if she could borrow a pad.
As she’s been playing Minecraft or something with her friends all day, I absentmindedly passed her my iPad, and went to find her a charging lead.
Looking at me a little nonplussed, she said “no nanny, I’ve just come on.” 🥴 She’s only 11, and I forgot how much she’s grown. As I’m in my 70’s a tenna lady will have to suffice! (Of course it was the word ‘borrow’ that tripped me up.) And a note to self keep some supplies. 😁

Oreo Mon 01-Sept-25 18:19:28

😂 you sure don’t want that borrowed item back.Girls start periods quite young now don’t they?
One good thing about being older is an end to all that.

agnurse Mon 01-Sept-25 21:50:49

While 11 is on the younger side, it's not super young. We have seen onset of menses in girls as young as 8, occasionally, but I think the standard definition of "normal" is 10-16.

One thing for her to be aware of: there is evidence to suggest that girls who start prior to age 12 may have a higher risk of breast cancer in the future. This is something she may want to discuss with her doctor when she gets older. (It seems to be the case that the longer your body is exposed to estrogen, the greater your risk of breast cancer. We know that early menarche (onset of menses), late menopause, having fewer pregnancies, and not breastfeeding can increase the risk of breast cancer.)

Allira Mon 01-Sept-25 21:55:45

One thing for her to be aware of: there is evidence to suggest that girls who start prior to age 12 may have a higher risk of breast cancer in the future

I think it would be just an added worry for an 11 year old; life seems difficult for many of them now and many are still adjusting after Covid.
Presumably she's starting at senior school as well this week, another hurdle.

Sue65 Tue 02-Sept-25 14:03:27

I started my periods age 14, had 4 children and breast fed them all
Still got breast cancer TWICE
Don’t worry the poor girl for goodness sake

Role Tue 02-Sept-25 14:22:10

God bless incontinence pads! I was in the next cubicle of a public toilet listening to a Mum trying to calm her young daughter, whom I gathered had just started her first period, and giving advice about wads of loo paper. I came out of my cubicle offering an (unused!) incontinence pad and I can’t think there is anything I’ve seen more gratefully received.

Spinnaker Tue 02-Sept-25 14:30:10

At the tender age of 11 and with all that's happening both hormonally and life changes (new school etc) why on earth would you add the worry of potential breast cancer issues to her shoulders. I'd be very surprised if a Dr would pursue anything until she had gone through puberty ?

Allira Tue 02-Sept-25 14:34:59

I think young women should be breast aware but worrying any young girl that they are more likely to develop breast cancer because they start their periods at the earlier end of the range is a worry too far.

crazyH Tue 02-Sept-25 14:36:56

There was no need to associate breast cancer with early menses. I know the poster is a nurse, but it will cause unnecessary worry to the OP.

Jacksgrandma123 Tue 02-Sept-25 14:39:41

I started my periods at age eleven and finished in my late fifties which allegedly puts one at higher risk : touchwood have not had any cancer . There must be so many variables and age at onset is only one which I would not worry her with

Fartooold Tue 02-Sept-25 14:40:14

My poor daughter (Downs) started her periods at 11 and was at Scout Camp luckily there were a couple of ladies present!

Grammaretto Tue 02-Sept-25 14:42:02

That's quite funny! I would have offered a paper pad and asked if she needed a pen!

I wouldn't have any other kind of pad.
Thank goodness periods don't last forever.

knspol Tue 02-Sept-25 14:43:59

agnurse

While 11 is on the younger side, it's not super young. We have seen onset of menses in girls as young as 8, occasionally, but I think the standard definition of "normal" is 10-16.

One thing for her to be aware of: there is evidence to suggest that girls who start prior to age 12 may have a higher risk of breast cancer in the future. This is something she may want to discuss with her doctor when she gets older. (It seems to be the case that the longer your body is exposed to estrogen, the greater your risk of breast cancer. We know that early menarche (onset of menses), late menopause, having fewer pregnancies, and not breastfeeding can increase the risk of breast cancer.)

I think this is one thing a young girl of 11 definitely does not want to be made aware of, if in fact it's even correct. Youngsters have enough to worry about without fretting about something which may or may not happen many years from today

Parsley3 Tue 02-Sept-25 14:47:19

I am so glad that sanitary products are now available free of charge in women's toilets, not that I need them any more, of course.

Essexgirl145 Tue 02-Sept-25 16:02:22

I was 10, still in junior school when I started mine.......nobody believed me.

Grammaretto Tue 02-Sept-25 16:04:12

So true Parsley and I can't imagine asking my Grandma if she had a pad to lend me or a towel as we called them.
Some things really have improved

GrannyIvy Tue 02-Sept-25 16:26:27

My DGD2 started her periods aged 10 just two months before her 11th birthday. 6 months on she is coping but very embarrassed by it and won’t tell her friends. It just seems so young. As she lives 40% of the time with her father (due to a court order) she struggles when this happens in his time as she just wants her mum. Her father will not allow her to be with her mum or speak to her mum regarding this in his time. So very sad. He is isn’t an easy man to deal with and I fear for my DGD dealing with him and her body changes.

Kimski44 Tue 02-Sept-25 17:34:12

I agree. I started my periods at 11 and have escaped breast cancer at age 66. And I think Im unlikely to succumb, either.

Allira Tue 02-Sept-25 17:37:36

GrannyIvy

My DGD2 started her periods aged 10 just two months before her 11th birthday. 6 months on she is coping but very embarrassed by it and won’t tell her friends. It just seems so young. As she lives 40% of the time with her father (due to a court order) she struggles when this happens in his time as she just wants her mum. Her father will not allow her to be with her mum or speak to her mum regarding this in his time. So very sad. He is isn’t an easy man to deal with and I fear for my DGD dealing with him and her body changes.

Poor little girl, I feel so sorry for girls who start their periods so young. She needs to be able to chat to her Mum or you about it.
I was only 11 and had no clue what was happening.

Do Courts listen to children when they decide these things?

Mojack26 Tue 02-Sept-25 17:38:41

A bit too much for an 11year old Agnurse...... Think she has enough to contend with just now without scaring her!

Esmay Tue 02-Sept-25 17:56:23

Definitely don't tell her about the increased risk of cancer - how awful for a young girl who is battling with being a woman !
I started mine early,but my body was thin and underdeveloped like a child - I hated being the only girl in the class who couldn't go swimming .
I didn't really fill out for about five years.
My daughters had curves and breasts and started their periods late .
I'm really glad that neither of them had period pain as I did .
I'm hoping and praying that breast cancer treatments are going to be less invasive and more successful in the future .

I would have reached for some art paper if asked for a pad .

GrannyIvy Tue 02-Sept-25 18:10:10

Allira her school counseller has said she won’t have a voice in Court until 13 years. Counseller has tried to talk to her father about this but he had no empathy with situation. My DD is terrified of going back to Court to try and change things as it was so traumatic last time. Fathers have lots of sympathy from Judges now even if they are not good fathers. It could be all so much easier for my poor DGD and my DD if he would work with them to the best interests of his child. Anyway this subject belongs to another thread so I’ll stop here.

Jojo1950 Tue 02-Sept-25 18:10:40

👍🏻

Allira Tue 02-Sept-25 18:15:11

I'm sorry, GrannyIvy.
The whole system seems to be wrong, the child's needs should be paramount.

Lemonred Tue 02-Sept-25 18:22:36

DGD is coping with it all fine, and she normally carries her own supplies, she just got caught out a week early. (Periods can be erratic at first) Both myself and her mother started at about 11 too. It’s just that I think of her as ‘the baby’ still. I have no intention of worrying her with the future prospect of cancer! (I too was a nurse)
I have now purchased some regular sanitary pads, in case of future needs, but my word what a variety there is these days. I had a Hysterectomy at 35, so have had decades without exploring those shelves in the supermarket!