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House keeping

(56 Posts)
Nan15 Fri 12-Sept-25 07:52:00

I have two grandchildren living with me age 23 and 25 .they asked if they can stay as mum and dad's house has no room .I said yes ask then for £60 a week .which was fine they both said .they have been here for about a year now and both jave stopped giving house keep. Am I being unreasonable asking them to contribute?

Desdemona Fri 12-Sept-25 07:54:08

Are you being unreasonable? Absolutely not!

If you are paying all the bills then they should be contributing - why did they stop paying?

BlueBelle Fri 12-Sept-25 07:57:18

Not unreasonable at all if they are working but as I’ve no idea if they are working or not it would need more info if they are not working it would depend what aid they are getting as to the amount

Spinnaker Fri 12-Sept-25 08:00:02

This should have been dealt with after the first missed payment. They either pay up or find elsewhere to live. Both are of an age to be working and contributing - not to be getting a free ride from grandparents. Smacks of entitlement.

Astitchintime Fri 12-Sept-25 08:02:36

Regardless of their income they should be paying something to food and bills without question. How come there’s no room at their parent’s house, did they not grow up there?

keepingquiet Fri 12-Sept-25 08:29:18

Of course they should be paying. They've been there a year? Put their rent up and give them six months to leave. Even if they aren't working (and why not, unless they are students?) they should be contributing. You do them no favours letting this slide.
A discussion about their future plans is needed here.

David49 Fri 12-Sept-25 09:27:50

£60 a week is cheap if they dont like it find somewhere else, unless there is some reason that you want to transfer money to them.
Dont forget to declare the rent on your tax return!

V3ra Fri 12-Sept-25 09:34:28

Dont forget to declare the rent on your tax return!

£60 a week is hardly taxable profit!
Take all the expenses into account and Nan15 is probably making a loss ☹️

Lathyrus3 Fri 12-Sept-25 09:47:51

Add up the bills, heating, lighting, water, food, toiletries etc per month and divide by three or four if your OH is there too.

Present them with the amount that is their share and tell them to set up a direct debit.

If they protest remind them that their accommodation and council tax are free. Or charge them an amount for that f you want.

Really you’re doing them no favours by treating them as children rather than adults responsible for their own lives.

Retread Fri 12-Sept-25 09:57:04

One of my biggest regrets is not asking my son to contribute, from his part time job income, when he was studying and living at home.

It is part of the important lesson of teaching young people how money works.

I'd start the conversation by reminding them of their arrears (seeing as they simply stopped contributing).

Grandmaofone Fri 12-Sept-25 10:58:09

Nan15, may I offer an alternative viewpoint, which is,
why are two grown men living with /sponging off their Nan?

Mt61 Fri 12-Sept-25 11:26:34

Cheap as chips 😳

Desdemona Fri 12-Sept-25 11:43:08

David49

£60 a week is cheap if they dont like it find somewhere else, unless there is some reason that you want to transfer money to them.
Dont forget to declare the rent on your tax return!

Patronising or what.

butterandjam Fri 12-Sept-25 12:18:28

David49

£60 a week is cheap if they dont like it find somewhere else, unless there is some reason that you want to transfer money to them.
Dont forget to declare the rent on your tax return!

£60 x 2 x52 = £6240.

It's not taxable. There is a tax-free allowance on income up to £7500 from letting a room in your home.

www.gov.uk/rent-room-in-your-home/the-rent-a-room-scheme

There is no obligation to feed a lodger.

ExDancer Fri 12-Sept-25 12:21:20

Now that the weather is cooler you have your chance. I am assuming your DH is not with you.
Do not turn on your heating, (or turn it off)
Stop heating the water for baths and showers. (boil the kettle for washing up), bathe or shower when they're out.
Do not do their washing or change their sheets.
Put on your vest and warm winter clothes and wrap a blanket round your knees as you watch TV in the evenings.
Hide any portable electric heaters etc.
Cook for yourself only and eat your evening meal before they return from work then sit watching the TV wrapped in your blanket.
Do not buy snacks or drinks that they can help themselves to.

Just make life for them as uncomfortable as you can (and you too I know, but we oldies are tough, and its a means to an end.)
When they eventually complain, show them your STATE pension amount, and say now that the govt has cut your benefits (even if you don't get benefits) and stopped your £300 winter fuel allowance you can no longer heat the house, or water for the house or afford to eat in the evenings.

BTW if you are on any benefits beware - by having them live with you, you payments may be reduced as it will be assumed they are contributing to expenses. You could lose benefits.

Crossstitchfan Fri 12-Sept-25 12:25:22

V3ra

*Dont forget to declare the rent on your tax return!*

£60 a week is hardly taxable profit!
Take all the expenses into account and Nan15 is probably making a loss ☹️

Possibly, but it still needs to be declared!

ExDancer Fri 12-Sept-25 12:28:37

On second thoughts - thats a silly idea.

Have the embarrassing conversation, but remember to show them only your State pension income.

karmalady Fri 12-Sept-25 12:29:22

No it does not, it is not income. It is part payment for food etc

butterandjam Fri 12-Sept-25 12:31:20

Crossstitchfan

V3ra

Dont forget to declare the rent on your tax return!

£60 a week is hardly taxable profit!
Take all the expenses into account and Nan15 is probably making a loss ☹️

Possibly, but it still needs to be declared!

No, it does not need to be declared. Their rent (£6240 per annum) is below the tax free allowance.

www.gov.uk/rent-room-in-your-home/the-rent-a-room-scheme

Crossstitchfan Fri 12-Sept-25 12:34:37

That’s what I thought, until the Taxman picked me up on it! That said, the ‘rules’ seem to depend on who you ask!

keepingquiet Fri 12-Sept-25 12:59:06

This has nothing to do with tax and everything to do with how OP moves forward in dealing with her entitled grandchildren.

CariadAgain Fri 12-Sept-25 13:20:08

Another voice for giving them two choices = 1. pay up a reasonable amount or 2. move out.

I wonder why they really moved out of their parents house in the first place? - I think there's a conversation or two to be had there....

I wonder what they are doing with the money they are, presumably, earning.

They do sound entitled to me - even if they aren't the type with "bottomless stomachs" to fill.

Personally - I'd present them with a realistic estimate of what the extra costs were of having them there (food/extra fuel bill/extra water bill/etc) and include however much of YOUR time you are spending being a cleaner for them (I think cleaners currently charge about £15 per hour??).

Also - we have no clue as to your financial situation generally - but I bet they've got their eyes on the Will eventually when you pop your clogs. Sorry - but there are some calculating little wotsits around (I had one for a brother until I cut him off) - but I'd known over a decade before it came to it that he'd got his eyes on having a lions share of everything come the time (and an excuse lined-up - ie he had children and so "Some for my children" to quote his exact words).

Some people calculate years in advance as to what they might manage to get from relatives and a lot of people calculate just how well they think they'll get away with not paying their share at the time and not doing their share of the housework. Sorry - but you've got two of them for grandchildren and you better believe they're getting what they can from you now - and have probably got their eyes on the future too.

Sorry - but take care...

twiglet77 Fri 12-Sept-25 13:30:26

They’re adults who should be paying their own way. Give them a month’s notice, at most, to pay what they owe or find alternative accommodation. I don’t imagine they’d find anywhere else so cheap. Were they contributing towards food and bills on top of the £60, or did it include meals, water, heating and all their home comforts? Are they on the electoral roll? Did you lose the single adult discount when you let them move in?

Time they grew up.

Shelflife Fri 12-Sept-25 13:32:32

Why have they stopped paying? Of they must pay!!! If they don't like it challenge them to find somewhere else for £60 a week!

dogsmother Fri 12-Sept-25 14:44:47

They are fully fledged adults at these ages. You are most certainly not being unreasonable and you need to speak up quickly.
To take advantage of you like this is most unfair and perhaps speak to them also about moving on before further advantages are taken.