Forgetting who you are

I think our childhood ups and downs are always with us, they surface when we least expect them to (particularly the downs)

Sending you a virtual (((hug))), I hope you are able to give your head a wobble, and let happy thoughts rise to the surface 🌸

I don’t know you at all Kate1949 but you obvs had a very unhappy childhood which has really affected you.
I expect you got on with your life and were busy but are now retired and time to think and be miserable about what went on back then.I think you should talk to someone professional about it if you find you can’t shake it.Sorry to hear about your troubles.

Yes. I’ve been to hell and back several times throughout my life. I wish I could go back to being aged 16 and start again. Please press reboot!

Sometimes those very difficult times come back to us very late in life when we have more time to think and are not overwhelmed with family, work, debts etc. I don’t know if this is your situation Kate1949 but just think - you have survived and are living to tell the tale! That, in itself is wonderful. Hats off to you 🍾

Hats off to Kate1949 you are an amazing survivor!

From your posts, Kate, I feel that I have come to know you, and know exactly who you are - you are a survivor who has made a good life from a very difficult start
Please be proud !

I don’t know you at all, rarely ( if ever? ) talk to you on here. But the posts I have seen of yours you always come across as a really nice person. ( It’s funny how you can tell what a person is like in real life by reading a few of their posts on here. but you can! )

Thanks everyone. I really need to stop whining. So many of you have been through, and are going through, awful things yourselves. Sometimes it overwhelms us doesn't it? Maybe it's because today is the anniversary of my lovely nephew's death. I was in the hospital room when he died. I was obviously thinking about him last night.

Oh dear, I'm sorry to hear that Kate1949.

No, it's not whining at all. You're allowed some tears, especially today

I don't think it is about forgetting who you were, more about becoming who you are meant to be.

That's how I see it.

Few of us escape the sadness of losing those close to you (I lost two nephews, one at age 2 and one at 19). I often think even ifpeople have 'escaped' these horrble things you don't know what lies ahead for them...

Kate, I have 'known' you a while and have never known you whine. You are allowed a bad day fir whatever reason - but that sounds quite a good one.

The you I 'know' is a funny, kind and thoughtful person and that version is very worthwhile.

How awful keepingquiet.

Thank you kitty. I hope you are recovering well.

Kate1949

How awful keepingquiet.

No, not awful. Awful for their parents, but not for me except to support them in a grief which was not mine.

There is much, much more I have gone through in my life than this but suffice it to say this isn't a competition about who suffers more.

I don't live in Gaza, or Ukraine, or in South Sudan or Afghanistan.

But I would do the people that do a terrible disservice if I was not grateful for all the incredible blessings I have in my life.

Oh yes support them all we can. However to be present when a much loved nephew died at 16and watch his mother collapse in shock and have to be treated by the medics who had been treating her son was pretty awful.

Hi Kate, like others I have known you for many years., and know what you’ve been through. You’re allowed to have an off day and I hope all the lovely replies on here will have helped to lift some of the awful memories.

Reading through this thread has made me realise what a lovely and caring bunch of people most gransnetters are.

Chin up Kate. X

Kate1949

Oh yes support them all we can. However to be present when a much loved nephew died at 16and watch his mother collapse in shock and have to be treated by the medics who had been treating her son was pretty awful.

This sounds very traumatic. I suppose at least with my nephew we knew he was dying for a weeks before he did.

I suppose what I was trying to say that difficult though it was for me to witness so many deaths in my family, the grief I felt at those losses was nothing compared to the grief endured by parents, spouses, children etc.

I think the fact that mum collapsed in shock sort of backs this up.

We knew our nephew was dying too. He had been treated for leukemia for two years. It was the shock of seeing him die that caused his mum to collapse. She died herself at 49, suddenly.