Gransnet forums

Chat

Forgetting who you are

(43 Posts)
Kate1949 Sun 21-Sept-25 23:48:01

Do you ever feel that you've been so much awful stuff that you no longer know who you are?

MayBee70 Sun 21-Sept-25 23:52:24

Well, all I can say is I’ve known you for a long time on this forum and all I can say is I know you as a really lovely person x

crazyH Sun 21-Sept-25 23:55:02

Oh Kate - of all the stories here on GN, yours has touched me the most.
You are your own person. You’re having one of those days, I’m sure. A big 🤗 from me .

Toetoe Mon 22-Sept-25 05:47:17

Yes I hear you 💕

JamesandJon33 Mon 22-Sept-25 06:02:38

I don’t know you terribly well Kate1949, but I know enough from the few posts I have read to deduce you are a rather special person. Brave and kind . Smile cariad .

kittylester Mon 22-Sept-25 07:25:13

I'd echo all the positive thoughts about you Kate but I am sorry if you feel this way.

While my back story is nothing like as bad as yours, I feel that I am what those experiences made me. And, I hope I have learnt from them.

RosieMezzo Mon 22-Sept-25 07:35:16

Presumably we are who we are now, after all the traumas, disasters and good things that have happened to us in the past. I wouldn’t like to still be as I was at the outset.

StripeyGran Mon 22-Sept-25 07:39:22

I'm not posting these days, its too unpleasant.

Anybody struggling at all please message me for a chat. Very happy to listen or even meet up or chat on the phone.

None of this is easy, life isn't easy at all.

Dear Kate, if you can manage to get out of bed and get dressed you are doing a great job.

TerriBull Mon 22-Sept-25 07:44:35

I think I know who.you are Kate, GN's number 1 Beatles fan, at one time destined to marry George Harrison until elbowed out of the way by Patti Boyd.

TerriBull Mon 22-Sept-25 07:45:33

Meant to add sorry about the awful stuffflowers

Flippinheck Mon 22-Sept-25 07:45:38

I’m still new here but your post has touched me to the core. If I could send you some strength I would.

NannyJan53 Mon 22-Sept-25 07:50:26

From all your posts Kate I am in awe how you have come through so much, and saddened that you had to.

You come across as such a lovely kind person, and I send you a virtual hug.

NotSpaghetti Mon 22-Sept-25 08:31:13

Sometimes life is crushing - the person we know is sort-of squeezed of us...

Trust you will come back, eventually.
X

fancythat Mon 22-Sept-25 08:35:23

I dont know your story.

I also notice other posts on this thread.

Would it help to be on a "nice" thread, perhaps in Gransnet cafe.
Or join the Soop kitchen one.

Tess46 Mon 22-Sept-25 08:38:42

From your posts Kate I know we had similar homes and have lived with the results of the damage we deal with as a result of our formative years and the lack of nurturing we received. Those who had a loveing home cannot begin to imagine the choices we make because of how we feel about our worth. Chin up girl, you are not alone and remember you have far more courage than you realise and a lot more than those who’ve never known what a violent home is. Lucky them.

fancythat Mon 22-Sept-25 08:40:21

Or use this one!
Change the title maybe at some point/have it moved to gransnet cafe.

Kate1949 Mon 22-Sept-25 09:49:20

Thanks everyone. Kind and reassuring as ever. Sorry for those who have been through similar. Easy this isn't.

Lathyrus3 Mon 22-Sept-25 09:52:48

I don’t know your story Kate but I do know that feeling.

I don’t quite know how to put this but it is possible, after your life has imploded, to emerge as different person to the one you thought you knew and yet still to be newly and entirely yourself, perhaps even more so because some things have been stripped from you.

I know that sounds like the kind of platitude I hate. I suppose I want to say, don’t despair.

If what I’ve written is inappropriate for your troubles then I apologise.

💐

FriedGreenTomatoes2 Mon 22-Sept-25 10:00:03

Oh Kate. My heart goes out to you. I had a traumatic experience in my life when I was a little girl just started infant school. At times during my life I think about that vulnerable child and just wished someone could have rescued her. My heart went out to her too. Nothing to be done about it now of course but that sorrow will always contribute to who I am today. Same for you dear lady. All you can do really is draw a line in the sand. 💐

kittylester Mon 22-Sept-25 10:02:18

I hope that Kate knows she is among friends even if she isn't very good at choosing beatles.

keepingquiet Mon 22-Sept-25 10:04:46

Yes, I have been there and had to question pretty much eveything I ever did in my life.

Even now I don't give myself credit for all the positive things I have done and continue to do.

I am still in that grinder of self-doubt and what-ifs but I see it as a way to grown that many people are not privileged to experience.

It has taught be to be more compassionate, patient and prepared to have yet even more opportunities to see the world in different ways.

Having said that I certainly don't tolerate fools gladly and will speak out when I think something is not right even if it makes me unpopular.

Go with the change and think about caterpillars turning into beautiful butterflies. Life is change and sometimes those changes can be very hard but girl are they worth it if you get to come out the other side,

Kate1949 Mon 22-Sept-25 10:06:11

Thank you. FGT How kind of you to reply in view of what you are going through. Last night I had (another) pity party. I really must stop this. Everyone has problems.

Allira Mon 22-Sept-25 10:25:52

I know who you are, Kate1949 - you're a survivor and an inspiration to many of us!

Sending you a 🤗

Don't be afraid to seek help if you need it, sometimes everything can seem to overwhelm us and even the small worries become enormous.

Babs03 Mon 22-Sept-25 10:37:05

Kate1949

Thank you. FGT How kind of you to reply in view of what you are going through. Last night I had (another) pity party. I really must stop this. Everyone has problems.

We all find ourselves in a place where we feel down and need to reach out, that isn’t a pity party, and I might be accused of the same after banging on about caring for my DH. I totally understand what you said and hope you find the amazing strength you have found in the past to keep on keeping on.
Take care
🌹❤️

AGAA4 Mon 22-Sept-25 12:16:41

Kate1949 I have seen your posts over the years I have been on GN and I know how much you have suffered. You have survived but it leaves scars that must sometimes surface and make you feel like this.
Sending a (((Hug))) and hope you feel a bit better soon 🤗