I had a horrible day on Friday

Thank you so much for your supportive messages. This house is ex council/HA. I bought it 12 years ago when left some money. When I had saved enough I had the flimsy front door replaced, with security in mind. I was offered a peephole but it would have been too high up (I am short). I had a security chain ready to fix, but was told it wouldn't work. There was nowhere to securely fix it inside. It would have been into plasterboard. My daughter suggested a Ring doorbell but as I do not use a Smart Phone, it wouldn't have been very useful, if I correctly understand it's way of operating.

Both myself and the (now deceased) near neighbour had harrassment complaints in with the police because of the Mother's behaviour. Apart from logging incidents nothing was done. I was told a month ago mine had been closed as I have no supportive electronic surveillance evidence. I bought a sound recording device, but it wasn't sensitive enough when I tried it. The other neighbour installed their Ring shortly before taking his own life and it did stop the dog poop dumping, a minor event. She even kept her voice down when harrassing me or him verbally after that as it was only a few feet away. (Very small terraced housing). I kept a log as suggested by the Police but they have never even asked to see it.

I tried to contact the HA to complain about their tenant but discovered they no longer had an email or telephone number listed. Only tenants or (prospectives from the Council housing list) could use their online contact services. A few years ago, when it was still possible, I did phone them about a completely different problem, but they made it quite clear that they weren't interested in non-tenants and later they removed email and phone contact. A phone number is now again given (the Council insisted) and I will try it. My bet is that it will be only for Tenants, but I will try. If I am right, I intend going to the Council Offices to see if a complaint can go through them.

Reassuringly, although the son has only been around for a couple of months, I don't think that, even drunk, it is in his nature to attack people, only inanimate objects, or he would have throttled his despicable mother before now!

My daughter has a quote for car repairs. To (attempt to) restore the car to it's pre-booted state will cost just over £1,000. Whatever we do, she will end up paying it. He has no job, no money and if she goes through her insurance they will take the money back in increased payments.

The fact that the Police took 3 hours to respond to an ongoing incident is unacceptable.

This town had a population of just over 65,000 in 2011 (latest statistics) and has increased rapidly since then. The Police station was demolished and we have two policemen with a room in the Council Offices, week days only, to cover the area.

I doubt he will ever be found and charged. He could well be next door again now, keeping his head down, but nobody has even knocked at her door to check.

My daughters keep pressuring me to up sticks, sell up and move nearer to one of them, but at 77 I don't fancy the disruption of leaving my home town or even the stress of moving at all. I can't afford to move back to the better part of this town. This tiny 2 up, 1 down terrace would fetch a staggering £300k+, but a better area would be twice that.

This is appalling, Aely
You are being dismissed and pushed from pillar to post.

Can you contact Citizens' Advice, they might be able to help you.

Perhaps moving nearer your DDs might be worth thinking about, could you apply for a retirement bungalow in their area?

Aely

Thank you so much for your supportive messages. This house is ex council/HA. I bought it 12 years ago when left some money. When I had saved enough I had the flimsy front door replaced, with security in mind. I was offered a peephole but it would have been too high up (I am short). I had a security chain ready to fix, but was told it wouldn't work. There was nowhere to securely fix it inside. It would have been into plasterboard. My daughter suggested a Ring doorbell but as I do not use a Smart Phone, it wouldn't have been very useful, if I correctly understand it's way of operating.

Both myself and the (now deceased) near neighbour had harrassment complaints in with the police because of the Mother's behaviour. Apart from logging incidents nothing was done. I was told a month ago mine had been closed as I have no supportive electronic surveillance evidence. I bought a sound recording device, but it wasn't sensitive enough when I tried it. The other neighbour installed their Ring shortly before taking his own life and it did stop the dog poop dumping, a minor event. She even kept her voice down when harrassing me or him verbally after that as it was only a few feet away. (Very small terraced housing). I kept a log as suggested by the Police but they have never even asked to see it.

I tried to contact the HA to complain about their tenant but discovered they no longer had an email or telephone number listed. Only tenants or (prospectives from the Council housing list) could use their online contact services. A few years ago, when it was still possible, I did phone them about a completely different problem, but they made it quite clear that they weren't interested in non-tenants and later they removed email and phone contact. A phone number is now again given (the Council insisted) and I will try it. My bet is that it will be only for Tenants, but I will try. If I am right, I intend going to the Council Offices to see if a complaint can go through them.

Reassuringly, although the son has only been around for a couple of months, I don't think that, even drunk, it is in his nature to attack people, only inanimate objects, or he would have throttled his despicable mother before now!

My daughter has a quote for car repairs. To (attempt to) restore the car to it's pre-booted state will cost just over £1,000. Whatever we do, she will end up paying it. He has no job, no money and if she goes through her insurance they will take the money back in increased payments.

The fact that the Police took 3 hours to respond to an ongoing incident is unacceptable.

This town had a population of just over 65,000 in 2011 (latest statistics) and has increased rapidly since then. The Police station was demolished and we have two policemen with a room in the Council Offices, week days only, to cover the area.

I doubt he will ever be found and charged. He could well be next door again now, keeping his head down, but nobody has even knocked at her door to check.

My daughters keep pressuring me to up sticks, sell up and move nearer to one of them, but at 77 I don't fancy the disruption of leaving my home town or even the stress of moving at all. I can't afford to move back to the better part of this town. This tiny 2 up, 1 down terrace would fetch a staggering £300k+, but a better area would be twice that.

Aely , a locksmith can easily fix your security chain to the bricks which are under the plasterboard. Do you imagine your house is made of plasterboard!

You can instruct a joiner to place the peephole at any height you choose.

Aely, you are emotionally exhausted. This why you did not feel pity for some stranger dying of leukaemia. Make your nice house secure and then your emotional state will improve.

Caleo, there are no bricks. The wall inside the door is that of the meter cupboard and is indeed just plasterboard. Indeed, the only bricks in this house are those making up the damp course!

I have rung the HA in what is supposed to be their "quieter time". I am number 30 in the queue and have reserved a ring back when they get to me.

I immediately rang my daughter to tell her. She is currently trying to contact them through their online "live chat". She was number 2 in the queue before she got cut off and had to start again. She is now number 2 again.

What are the outside walls made of? 🤔

My daughter could not get through on the "live chat". I had found an "anti-social behaviour" menu choice on the phone and had more luck as the ring-back came unexpectedly quickly.

I had a long talk with the HA lady and she sounded appalled. She is starting the tenancy agreement breech process. Someone will call me tomorrow afternoon. I hope it is not like the Police complaint, a very sympathetic hearing, but absolutely no action.

If you are being harrassed (i.e. banging on the door) call the police every time - if they are not there in 10 minutes call back and say you are in fear for your life - that should trigger a blue light response.

Hi Aely. How awful this has been for you and quite frightening. Like others have said get your home secure, strong chain and also on your back door. You do not have to answer. Don't worry about calling the police just do it if you are getting harassment.
As for the HA they will have a protocol for anti social behaviour and should ask you to keep a diary. Someone in breach of their tenancy should be given a written warning and the HA can apply to the Court for possession. Should the lady pass away from her illness then the son will have to go
I do wish you well.

Would you consider getting a smart phone.
You could get a basic Chinese one from argos. My brother did. Under 200 pounds and does what he wants.
Or if not how about a simple cctv system like entryphone bell.
Or have the ri g doorbell relay to your daughter's smart phone?
Never open the door.
Shout through it and say sorry am busy with my toy boy. He's a martial arts instructor and is shewing me some moves.

Well done - your persistence paid off. I hope there will be some action to resolve this awful situation.

What is it about our age? I”m 80 and we just did not have this disgusting behaviour when in our teens and twenties. What has happened to our country? Why do we say now these hooligans have MH, maybe as nan excuse when it isn't, it’s just lack of decent upbringing and manners. We have a generation, not all, of youngsters, and older, who think they are entitled.

Maybe as an excuse

Aely
If you do consider selling up are you aware that by law you must disclose all the communication you’ve had with the police and the council.

I'm so sorry you are having to desl with this. We had a spell of having bad neighbours and were planning to move within the locality to escape, but it was nothing like as bad as what you are suffering. Before we went that far my ex husband was made redundant and got a new job 50 miles away. We chose our new house carefully to avoid the shared open plan gardens that resulted in the problems. I now have lovely neighbours and got involved in neighbourhood watch, for which I'm now the road's organiser. As others have said, find other good neighbours who will support you in making complaints and give you someone local to turn to if you feel threatened again.

Our road has a WhatsApp group for all the neighbourhood watch members which I set up. It rarely is used but is handy in an emergency, such as my alarm going off when I was visiting my son's family 200 miles away! One of my neighbours checked the house and said everything was fine so I could reset the alarm on the app on my phone. Something had fallen over setting it off, but it was reassuring that there were people there for me. I too live alone, but having neighbours you can contact is important.

🤞Aely for someone in authority Getting a Grip for you.

vintageclassics

If you are being harrassed (i.e. banging on the door) call the police every time - if they are not there in 10 minutes call back and say you are in fear for your life - that should trigger a blue light response.

Tell them you have a gun and are ready for any intruders - they'll be there with blue lights flashing in two minutes!

You don't have to tell them it's only a water pistol.

Well if the police these days apparently have time to harass perfectly law-abiding people because of expressing their opinion in a tweet or something = they should have plenty of time to actually act like police (ie deal with criminals and other ne-er do wells).....

I think the police did for the idea of us having any respect for them ever again when they were doing things back in Lockdown like harassing a family into not even being able to use their own front garden!!!

It's actually scrote and it's from the word scrotum.

Your scrotum is the thick-skinned pouch (sac) that hangs from the front of the pelvis below the penis. The scrotum contains the testicles (testes) and has the important job of surrounding them and keeping them safe.

Well I never.
Who'd have thunk it ?

I thought it, welbeck, yesterday at 19:39!

and gave the alternative spelling: scroat

Other words I use for these lowlife are pondlife and Oxygen thieves

petra

Aely
If you do consider selling up are you aware that by law you must disclose all the communication you’ve had with the police and the council.

I am indeed aware of that, Petra, and have pointed this out to my daughter. She reckons it is worth the possible valuation reduction.

Allira - it is a "Wimpey no fines" construction. A thin concrete shell is filled with rubble loosely held together with cement. I had an aerial fixed up last week (thinking of dumping VM cable) and he used 8 bolts and still warned me it might fall off in a strong wind.

Yes, I understand now Aely.

Somebody suggested having a Ring doorbell linked to my daughter's phone?
She suggested that herself, then decided that living 40 miles away, it probably wouldn't be very useful. If somebody actually tried to break in (very difficult with its small windows and internal metalwork) she could call police but they would probably take 3 hours to respond, if Friday is typical. My path is partially covered by my (deceased) neighbour's family's Ring doorbell, so could be used in that event for identifying miscreants.

Is it possible to get a wide angle peephole? My eye level is at the height of many men's chests, unless they are standing well back from the door.