I had a horrible day on Friday

See your local MP at the surgery. Tell MP how frightened and vulnerable you feel as an elderly female living alone. MP needs to know about delay with the police, the HA being of no help. Ask MP for advice on what you must do immediately as you are very fearful, maybe even making yourself ill. Good luck and take care.

Is there an anti social behaviour unit at your local council ?
Could you contact your local councillor.
Hope things improve.

Our local council in association with AgeUK have a list of reliable workmen who will do small jobs such as you need. Door bell and chain. Always worth asking.

I lived in a tower block when I was a student and had a scary "care in the community" neighbour. He cut through my phone wires and cut off my door knocker with a bolt cutter. When he first moved in I was foolish enough to give him money. Big mistake.

After the door knowcker incident the police arrested him and he was bailed to appear in court a few days later. Meantime he had got into a fight in the local gay village. Of course he didnt show up in court and was re-arrested for assault. He was sent to a secure hostel.

As one poster has commented these types tend to self destruct in some way and leave or get evicted.

Aely hi! Just to let you know that you are not alone in this. …though it may seem like it.
Keep pushing for action and keep safe. 💐 🙂

friendlygingercat

I lived in a tower block when I was a student and had a scary "care in the community" neighbour. He cut through my phone wires and cut off my door knocker with a bolt cutter. When he first moved in I was foolish enough to give him money. Big mistake.

After the door knowcker incident the police arrested him and he was bailed to appear in court a few days later. Meantime he had got into a fight in the local gay village. Of course he didnt show up in court and was re-arrested for assault. He was sent to a secure hostel.

As one poster has commented these types tend to self destruct in some way and leave or get evicted.

Yep...that was me re the "self destruct" - or there's other ways too you can tell they won't be around forever.

One awful married couple were doing their best to "lord it" round the place - but they were a similar age to me I figured out (they're both people who look old for their age anyway - but she'd let on early on she was just a few months older than me). I watched him walking around with the "lurching" type of walk I notice a lot in my current area (think it's arthritis from farming jobs??), saw how they both look so much older than the age they are and that they lived in a large 3-storey house they were busily neglecting to heck. Their bad health and all that empty tatty spare space in their home and only them and their cat living there = I knew they'd probably downsize at some point and/or get caught up with for their obvious bad money management (my age and they'd had the house over 25 years - but they had both a mortgage and a charge on it as I recall). The Chavs (as I call them) didnt go far darn it - and I can see the back of the "new to them" house they moved to - but at least they aren't in my road any longer. I guess the people they owed money to and/or their health caught up with them one way or another - as anticipated.

Another bad neighbour now will soon be gone and I'm keeping my fingers crossed (as she's very elderly/obviously noticeably physically ill - as well as the dementia I can see she has). Thankfully her car has now gone - so I guess she's given up driving (ie I was worried what else she might bash with her car) - and so I did let the most amenable of the "children" know I knew she shouldnt be driving any longer and the signs I'd seen that she has dementia.

So - yep Mother Nature often catches up with these people and/or their bad money management.

A horrible day for you, frightening and unsettling. It's no wonder you feel so sad and down. There is some good advice here - and if you have a mobile then film him when he is outside your house. Ring the police every time he makes any kind of disturbance, as this builds up a picture of what is going on. A friend had a drunk hammer at her door, and unthinkingly she opened it - and then promptly slammed it hard in his face, which prevented his getting in and also halted him in his tracks very effectively. If your neighbour tries to push in again you are within your rights to stop him, but a chain is the best idea.

Don't forget peepholes on doors have their uses too.

Next time don’t wait so long to call the police and tell them you ‘think’ you saw a knife. Or better still say he’s being racist towards you. You’ll have an army of police turn up.
I wish I could help you as this is one of the worst situations to be in. Have you got any big strong ‘relatives’ that could have a word.

Contact your local Age Concern they will help with safety measures

Aely

It started ok until, at my Pulmonary Exercise class, they started talking about "Goals" we had to set. "I want to be able to do this, by then", with my "husband/wife, family, friends."

As I have mentioned before, I am alone. I feel isolated. This just made me feel depressed. My only "goal" is to stay healthy enough not to end up in a home, sat blankly in front of a TV where I don't even control the remote.

I have lived for the past 30 years on what used to be a quiet, decent Housing Estate. Trouble was rare. Last year I got a new neighbour.

Walking home down my street I was accosted by my demon neighbour's son (now her lodger/carer). He was drunk, with several bottles of Vodka in his bag. He wanted to call round "for a chat". I said Sorry, my daughter is coming round. I declined his offer of Vodka.

When I got home, my daughter called me, suggesting a trip out on Sunday rather than the arranged visit but when I told her I was feeling down she set off on the 40 mile journey to my place. Then the drunk, neighbour's son turned up. His mother had been diagnosed with a fatal condition. He was afraid he would be homeless when she died as she refused to put him on the tenancy. (!). Oh, and could he borrow some money? He was inside the door (I don't have a peep hole or door chain) and I couldn't get rid of him. In the end I gave him a few pounds and he went.

My daughter arrived. The son kept coming back, more drunk every time, banging on the door, wanting to phone a friend. After three more "visits" my daughter allowed him to make the call on her phone and told him to wait in the road for his friend (drug dealer, judging by the nature of the phone conversation). He started accosting passers-by and walking in front of cars. He threw full flower pots at his mother's door and chucked bins around. Then he headed to my daughter's car and put his hefty boot into the passenger door, buckling it

That's when I dialled 999.

He went on a rampage around the estate, with a neighbour following and trying to calm him. His mother stood calmly in her front garden, exuding Vodka fumes, saying "Don't worry, he's fine, he's fine". The son finally returned to her house, in the front and out the back, where we lost track of him.

A solitary policeman turned up three hours later. The whole thing had been captured on another neighbour's Ring doorbell - installed because of previous incidents which only stopped when my demon neighbour's target killed himself.

There is now a Criminal Damage charge pending, when the police get round to finding him. After two days virtually locked in my house feeling physically and mentally exhaused I am now OK. All is quiet.

Strangely, what worries me most is that when he said his mother was dying (Leukemia), I just didn't care one way or the other.

That sounds awful Aely.
If your neighbour is a housing association or Council Tenant, they are responsible for the behaviour of visitors/anyone staying with them. You can contact their landlord and make a complaint about the neighbours son, and keep a log of the time,date and incident. Get a Ring doorbell, and do not answer the door or let the neighbours son in again. Housing Assoations/Councils can evict tenants for this type of anti social behaviour but need evidence for this. Good luck

Poor you. I know how you feel. I lived in a little cottage next to a nice family owned pub.
Later sold to a bully of a guy, he wanted to turn it into a night club, when council allowed later licensing laws.
Police knocked my door, & warned me what their intentions were.
I went round my neighbours & got ten superb letters of objection, plus was asked to go down to the town hall to object, which it was.
That weekend, I saw a three men standing at the back of my car. Next thing my car was on fire.
Six months later two of these men committed suicide, (one was a wife beater, I heard the other was a bullying druggie. I just thought oh well, two down one to go. I didn’t care less.

Aely

Caleo, there are no bricks. The wall inside the door is that of the meter cupboard and is indeed just plasterboard. Indeed, the only bricks in this house are those making up the damp course!

I have rung the HA in what is supposed to be their "quieter time". I am number 30 in the queue and have reserved a ring back when they get to me.

I immediately rang my daughter to tell her. She is currently trying to contact them through their online "live chat". She was number 2 in the queue before she got cut off and had to start again. She is now number 2 again.

I do not believe your house is built from plasterboard! If a house were built from plasterboard (except for the damp course) it couldn't have a chimney stack or be strong enough to fix an exterior door to. A plasterboard house would not even be weatherproof! How do you imagine a house made from plasterboard could support a roof?

The problem of making your front door safe is one that can be solved by any able tradesman.

Your safety chain would be anchored to the nearest masonry. What happens is the tradesman has an electric drill that bores through plaster or plasterboard until it hits brick or stone , then the drill makes a hole in the brick or stone ( or concrete) and the tradesman uses very powerful glue or cement to anchor the chain at one end to the hole in the brick, stone, or concrete.

Aely, i just read this from you to Allira.
Allira - it is a "Wimpey no fines" construction. A thin concrete shell is filled with rubble loosely held together with cement. I had an aerial fixed up last week (thinking of dumping VM cable) and he used 8 bolts and still warned me it might fall off in a strong wind.

Now I understand.

Here is what ChatGPT says:

Fitting a Door Chain to a Wimpey No-Fines House

Hello! If you’ve got a “Wimpey No-Fines” house (the ones built after the war with concrete walls made without sand), fixing things to the wall can be a bit tricky. The walls are strong but a bit “rough inside,” so ordinary wall plugs don’t always grip well.

Your options:

The easiest way is often to screw the chain into the wooden door frame rather than the wall. That’s usually secure enough and much simpler to do.

If you do want to fix into the concrete wall, the best way is to use resin anchors (a special glue in a tube you squirt into the hole before putting the screw in). They hold much better in this type of wall than normal rawlplugs. You’ll need a drill that can cope with concrete (SDS drill is best).

In plain English:

If the door frame is solid wood → just screw into that.

If you’re going into the concrete wall → ask a handy relative/neighbour or a tradesperson to use resin fixings, because they stay put better than ordinary plugs.

And a little reminder — a chain is useful, but for real peace of mind, you might also think about a door viewer (peephole) or a video doorbell. Sometimes those are even more reassuring.

Happolyretired223
The OP owns her house. No landlord.

The door frame is PVC. It came with the door. The door with its frame fits exactly into the gap between the supporting wall (which is the kitchen wall as our houses are built back to front compared to the usual layout) and the plasterboard, side wall of the meter cupboard. The latch side of the door is immediately adjacent to the meter cupboard. There is no outer wall between the door frame and the cupboard side wall to which a chain could be securely fixed. If the cupboard wall was solid enough to fix a chain securely, it would have to be a very long chain as there is no room to step to the side to see through the "crack". If the door were set to open the other way round it might be possible for a secure fixing, but the problem of seeing round the edge would be the same.

What a surprise! The promised call from the Housing Association regarding my Anti-Social Behaviour complaint did not materialise. But luckily, I knew better than to hold my breath waiting for it. They are probably too busy trying to figure out how to stop complaints getting through and still comply with the Regulators instructions to improve their communications.

I'll go and look at our door chain, Aely

I wonder if the police still send round Crime Prevention Officers if one requests it - ie to suss out what they think one can do to make a home more secure?

I remember years back now in my last house that I requested a visit from one and they came round. It must have been shortly after that that I swopped the 4 main windows - as the last straw on them was that they were those aluminium frame ones with a couple of mini panels of glass up the top end of them. The police guy explained to me just how easily those mini panels could be slid out from outside. Cue for I must have pretty promptly decided after that to swop those windows for upvc doubleglazed ones.

I don't know how much money you have (or havent) got available for any work on your house? Things like a peephole and doorchain won't cost much. Things like swopping the exterior doors to more secure ones and we would be talking up into a 4 figure amount (I know because I've had one of mine swopped from upvc to composite recently here).

I've just asked Chat GPT if there are still Crime Prevention officers and the answer boiled down to "Depends on what area of the country the person is in - things like budget restraints that particular police force has". It then invited me to say which police force we're talking about and it would be able to give me an indication of whether they would. I couldnt do that - as I don't know what part of the country you are in. If you want to send me a private message as to which policeforce there is where you are - then I could input that into the question and get an idea.

Aely

The door frame is PVC. It came with the door. The door with its frame fits exactly into the gap between the supporting wall (which is the kitchen wall as our houses are built back to front compared to the usual layout) and the plasterboard, side wall of the meter cupboard. The latch side of the door is immediately adjacent to the meter cupboard. There is no outer wall between the door frame and the cupboard side wall to which a chain could be securely fixed. If the cupboard wall was solid enough to fix a chain securely, it would have to be a very long chain as there is no room to step to the side to see through the "crack". If the door were set to open the other way round it might be possible for a secure fixing, but the problem of seeing round the edge would be the same.

What a surprise! The promised call from the Housing Association regarding my Anti-Social Behaviour complaint did not materialise. But luckily, I knew better than to hold my breath waiting for it. They are probably too busy trying to figure out how to stop complaints getting through and still comply with the Regulators instructions to improve their communications.

dog-g8 dragons' den

I bought one. It is not high enough to keep out a determined intruder but it would stop him pushing past you and entering your house. .

The information says it can be fixed to plaster board. Also that it can be wide enough so the door opens wide enough for you to see who is on your doorstep.

Allira

I'll go and look at our door chain, Aely

The chain is fitted between the door frame and the door. PVC door and frame (not my choice but hardwood was too expensive!).

Think Age Concern is now called Age UK - think they merged with Help the Aged a few years ago and changed the name.

Aely

Somebody suggested having a Ring doorbell linked to my daughter's phone?
She suggested that herself, then decided that living 40 miles away, it probably wouldn't be very useful. If somebody actually tried to break in (very difficult with its small windows and internal metalwork) she could call police but they would probably take 3 hours to respond, if Friday is typical. My path is partially covered by my (deceased) neighbour's family's Ring doorbell, so could be used in that event for identifying miscreants.

Is it possible to get a wide angle peephole? My eye level is at the height of many men's chests, unless they are standing well back from the door.

If the door is made of wood, you can have a peephole fitted at whatever height suits you.

Butterandjam (what, no bread?), It is what they call, I think, a Composite construction door. I think the problem the installers had was that it comes complete with a knocker, right where the peephole would need to be. It is a pretty useless knocker (so I also have a ding-dong door bell) but I'm not sure what damage would be done to the door if I tried to remove it to install the peephole. It might just be glued on. If it can be removed ok, how does one find a workman to install a peephole? It is a difficult thing to Google, I think. I don't want to try myself and maybe wreck the door.

Actually, my back door is more of a problem. For some reason, the only new one I could get fitted when I replaced the old doors was one with a really large window, which although doubleglazed, would provide easy access if smashed. I have a tall, locked garden gate at the back but if the guy next door (assuming he is still/back there) got drunk and wanted to have a go, he would only have to pop over a bit of chicken wire fence from their back garden. The rest of the garden has 6' wood fencing but that bit got missed as I had a shed there