When you suddenly realise you have no one to share a memory with

It's the downside of getting older. There are more people to miss. Eventually if you live long enough there will be nobody who remembers the old days.

I can totally relate to that, M0nica. As an only child, now that my parents are both gone, I really have no-one to share early memories with - we didn't come from a big family of cousins or anything like that. I was looking into our family tree and some questions arose, and it was then it suddenly struck me that there was no-one I could ask about the family links.

I have only recently been talking about this with my oldest friend. We have been friends since we were eleven. Originally there were five of us. The first one died 15 years ago and another died six years ago, just after my husband. Now the third one has been operated on for a brain tumour and has no idea what the future will hold. We are realising now that there is no one else who will share our memories and it does make the future look a bit bleak.

RosieandherMaw

Oh yes- and its not only bereavement although it came to me with a vengeance when I remembered the precious month DH and I had with our first baby before his death at 24 days - but now I have nobody to share those bittersweet memories.
But also when my sister was diagnosed with Alzheimers a few years before her death last year- nobody to share anecdotes of our childhood or memories of our parents.

RosiesndherMaw 💐

I also feel the same regarding my older sister, who has dementia. Our parents both died when we were young, and my sister was my rock and my stability through that dreadful time. Sadly, she now has no memory of this.

ginny

I am lucky to still have a number of friends that I have known for 50 years or more although a few are gone .
When my brother died last Christmas it suddenly occurred to me that there was nobody left that had known me all my life. Those early years as children are now only in my memory.

I understand how you feel. My younger sister died in a road accident when she was in her mid-40s. My youngest sister is 7 years my junior and circumstances meant, we two older girls were often off doing things on our own, including boarding school, without her, so so many of my childhood memories are exclusive to me and my sister closest in age.

Fortunately, I still have my oldest friend. We met at boarding school when she was 12 and I was 13. The friendship has waxed and waned over the years as our adult lives have followed very different trajectories, but never been broken and since we both retired we have grown close again.

I am lucky to still have a number of friends that I have known for 50 years or more although a few are gone .
When my brother died last Christmas it suddenly occurred to me that there was nobody left that had known me all my life. Those early years as children are now only in my memory.

What a true and moving post M0nica

Thank you.
I have this feeling sometimes too.

I know exactly what you mean and how you feel M0nica 😿

This resonates with me. My best friend died three years ago. We were friends for nearly 60 years and shared so many memories. She was the first person I contacted when I wanted advice - and it was always good. We sent each other messages every day. There's no-one now who I can message about daft things we did. It would have been her birthday today.

I do have another lovely, dear friend from schooldays but we live a long way apart. However, we're still in touch and we did have a reminisce about when we were young the other week 🙂

Many days I think of something I'd like to share with my dearest friend; she was kind and helpful and always had sensible advice to offer. The best thing was that I knew I could trust her implicitly and anything I told her would go no further.
Sadly, she died far too young about 10 years ago now.

Other friends are good but not as close and, particularly with one, not to be trusted with a confidence.

Oh yes- and its not only bereavement although it came to me with a vengeance when I remembered the precious month DH and I had with our first baby before his death at 24 days - but now I have nobody to share those bittersweet memories.
But also when my sister was diagnosed with Alzheimers a few years before her death last year- nobody to share anecdotes of our childhood or memories of our parents.

Over the years I've had several of my closest friends die and although I've made new friends we don't share the memories from the past that I had with friends who are no longer here. It's sad but I'm still here wondering why I've lived and they didn't. I was just about to go into the cathedral in Málaga when my phone rang and I was told that a much younger friend had died. I was so shocked and sad but at least a mutual friend messaged me and we were able to share our sadness. I am not religious but being in the cathedral was very comforting.