A present for other granny.

Allira

^She happens to have given birth to someone my child chose as a partner.^

Happy families? I guess not, but I'm sorry.

They aren't my family, I barely know them. Thinking about it Id probably pass one on the street without knowing who she was.

I've got a husband, 4 kids, 8GC, 2 siblings, 3 nephews/nieces, 21 cousins and loads of their children not to mention 5 great nephews and nieces.

Why do I need to send cards and presents to another group of people I barely know? Maybe some people need more family, I don't.

Oh dear.

The other in-laws are important, they are the grandparents of your grandchildren.

I've got a husband, 4 kids, 8GC, 2 siblings, 3 nephews/nieces, 21 cousins and loads of their children not to mention 5 great nephews and nieces.

Good grief! Do you give presents to your cousins' children?

Well, to trump that, I've got great-great nephews and nieces, so many I can't count them! 😁
They don't expect presents, of course.
Just a generic one if I see them eg chocolates.

Our families (DDiLs and ours) are quite small, so we have essentially merged and DDiL's mother and I are good friends. We always used to sleep at her house when we visited our joint grandchildren. Now she is 90 we stay in a hotel.

We give presents to DDiL's mother, sister and husband, but nominal presents - a bottle of wine or similar. Otherwise, we only give presents to immediate family; children, grandchildren and DDiL.

If she spends a lot of time looking after her demented husband she will be grateful for something to make her laugh. Does she have a carer who can take over for a bit while you go out with her to a panto or a communion (afternoon showings)

M0nica

Our families (DDiLs and ours) are quite small, so we have essentially merged and DDiL's mother and I are good friends. We always used to sleep at her house when we visited our joint grandchildren. Now she is 90 we stay in a hotel.

We give presents to DDiL's mother, sister and husband, but nominal presents - a bottle of wine or similar. Otherwise, we only give presents to immediate family; children, grandchildren and DDiL.

Different if you are friends. I haven't seen my eldest son's MIL since 2018, I've met her twice once was in church and at the reception.. we aren't friends, we've never had a row or fallen out about anything but we don't know each other. She still sends me Christmas and birthday cards. I have no idea why.

Allira

^I've got a husband, 4 kids, 8GC, 2 siblings, 3 nephews/nieces, 21 cousins and loads of their children not to mention 5 great nephews and nieces.^

Good grief! Do you give presents to your cousins' children?

Well, to trump that, I've got great-great nephews and nieces, so many I can't count them! 😁
They don't expect presents, of course.
Just a generic one if I see them eg chocolates.

So you don't think blood family matters but the parents of someone your child married does.

As you say happy families.

Allira

Oh dear.

The other in-laws are important, they are the grandparents of your grandchildren.

Why would that make them important to me. Two of my GC don't even see one of their other grandparents due to estrangement but they are supposed to be important to me.

I have family, I have friends I do t need to be trying to create more and I definitely don't need to add to the commercialisation of Christmas by adding to the piles of gifts.

theworriedwell

Allira

I've got a husband, 4 kids, 8GC, 2 siblings, 3 nephews/nieces, 21 cousins and loads of their children not to mention 5 great nephews and nieces.

Good grief! Do you give presents to your cousins' children?

Well, to trump that, I've got great-great nephews and nieces, so many I can't count them! 😁
They don't expect presents, of course.
Just a generic one if I see them eg chocolates.

So you don't think blood family matters but the parents of someone your child married does.

As you say happy families.

How rude.

Of course they matter. It's just that there are so many of them, I don't know all of them anyway, and I'd be buying hundreds of Christmas presents for people I don't know. They are all over the world!
Those I do know I'm very fond of.

But I see other Granny often and we're very fond of her too. The same kind of relationship as M0nica describes.

21 cousins and loads of their children not to mention 5 great nephews and nieces. you must spend a fortune at Christmas!

So you don't think blood family matters but the parents of someone your child married does

Blimey!
Judgy not to say rude, glad the spirit of Christmas is still alive in some places!

Allira

Oh dear.

The other in-laws are important, they are the grandparents of your grandchildren.

Exactly 👏👏👏

RosieandherMaw

^So you don't think blood family matters but the parents of someone your child married does^

Blimey!
Judgy not to say rude, glad the spirit of Christmas is still alive in some places!

Not just me thinking that!

I was beginning to think I'd neglected all my cousins, second cousins, third cousins twice removed all around the world, not to mention DH's, by not buying them Christmas presents.
But buying one for DIL's lovely Mum.

Message deleted by Gransnet. Here's a link to our Talk guidelines.

No need whatsoever to argue "who is family?" Family is whatever one wants it to be. Our 4 daughters, grandchildren, great and great great grandchildren. My brother, his lovely wife and children. Plenty!

Allira you started the rudenrss with your sarky happy families comment which I found really nasty. Maybe don't dish it out if you can't take it.

Norah

No need whatsoever to argue "who is family?" Family is whatever one wants it to be. Our 4 daughters, grandchildren, great and great great grandchildren. My brother, his lovely wife and children. Plenty!

That's the point, I was being told who was family and sarky comments as I don't call my kids' in laws as family.

Allira

^21 cousins and loads of their children not to mention 5 great nephews and nieces.^ you must spend a fortune at Christmas!

I never said I send them all presents. Maybe look back at your comments to me about not even sending a card. Yes cards and stamps cost but no not all get presents.

Not sure why you seem so obsessed about who I consider friends or family.

Family and friends are whoever you want them to be. I class my Brothers in Law and Sisters in Law as family but that is my personal choice. No need to have a relationship with your Children's in Laws including the other Grannie if you don't want to. Sorry kircubbin2000 that this post appears to have strayed away from you kindly wanting to buy a Christmas gift for the other Grannie, what a lovely gesture. Lots of ideas on here may I offer some others perhaps a nice book to immerse herself in or a CD of some lovely music to listen to. I am sure that you will find something appropriate and enjoy Christmas in her company.

Not sure why you seem so obsessed about who I consider friends or family
😂 Not in the least obsessed.
Couldn't give a flip.

When you said you were estranged in the first place, I said I was sorry but you then started to be rude. Posters might been wondering why you were disparaging other posters' choices.

Merry Christmas.

I agree with the comments regarding the use of the word 'elderly'. However, I was shocked last year to receive a letter from our local hospital offering me an appointment at the Geriatric Clinic. At the time, I was 73....!

kircubbin2000

We don't usually see much of her but I've been told she will be there at Christmas this year and has bought me a nice present and a bottle of spirits for grandad.
I'm at a loss as to what to get her . Spend around £20 /£25.
Any ideas?She's around 70 and caring for her husband who has dementia.

We've bought something for other Granny, but I did see some lovely baskets planted up with Christmassy plants in M&S for just £25. Much cheaper than the garden centre where we bought ours.

Allira

^Not sure why you seem so obsessed about who I consider friends or family^
😂 Not in the least obsessed.
Couldn't give a flip.

When you said you were estranged in the first place, I said I was sorry but you then started to be rude. Posters might been wondering why you were disparaging other posters' choices.

Merry Christmas.

Who am I estranged from? Are you making things up

I found your happy families crack offensive

Barbadosbelle

.

I never buy real candles and certainly not as a gift to anyone elderly. Accidents waiting to happen.

If you want something aromatic then play safe and go for a diffuser with reeds.
Most stores stock them - M&S (inc Kelly Hoppen), JLP (inc Esteban), etc.
Loads on Amazon (inc Molton Brown).

Prices from about £12 to ........... £s.
.

Who do you class as elderly then?

This other granny would love a year's supply of candles. I'm sitting in the dark with the fire lit and a couple of candles lit. There's a power cut.