Talking to strangers

It’s a person thing I m from the East coast and people are supposed to be really reserved here, but if I smile at them or say good morning 9 out of 10 times I get a smile or a reply back, but I think if I didn’t start it they would naturally keep their head down I was a very very shy person but have come out of my shell over the years and since teens/ twenties have always felt comfortable talking or acknowledging others.

I was staying in Belgium some years back and was taken aback that no one answered me when I smiled or said good morning they looked away

notgran

Just before Christmas, friends and I were having a meal out. The waitress came over very bubbly took our orders then read them back to us and announced she forgets things as she's going through the menopause. I immediately said " Too much information, thank you". I was a bit shocked that she would just say that to customers she is serving. We all had a giggle when she had gone away but still feel it was unnecessary for her to share that and very unprofessional.

Well, we’re all different, I suppose. I feel very sorry for the waitress here and wouldn’t have seen anything wrong with what she said. I do hope she didn’t see you laughing at her.

I walked over to my DDs for tea on Christmas day. There were not many people around. I wished a man who was walking in the opposite direction "Happy Christmas." He stopped and stared at me for a second and then said "Pardon." I repeated my greeting and he just said "Oh" and walked on. The other two people I greeted blanked me.

People are not very sociable round my way. It reminded me why, most of the time, I don't bother.

Maggiemaybe

notgran

Just before Christmas, friends and I were having a meal out. The waitress came over very bubbly took our orders then read them back to us and announced she forgets things as she's going through the menopause. I immediately said " Too much information, thank you". I was a bit shocked that she would just say that to customers she is serving. We all had a giggle when she had gone away but still feel it was unnecessary for her to share that and very unprofessional.

Well, we’re all different, I suppose. I feel very sorry for the waitress here and wouldn’t have seen anything wrong with what she said. I do hope she didn’t see you laughing at her.

Yep...I was thinking I would have regarded that as rude to speak to the waitress like that and would then expect her to "coincidentally" serve other tables first (I would have....).

I never had a proper conversation with a stranger until I retired, maybe the odd pleasantry or answering a query, now I’ll strike up a conversation with anyone.

It comes from being lonely I suppose.

I’m a huge chatter to strangers and have heard more tales of woe than I ever did when I was actually working.

I will chat to anyone, often starts with just a smile or good morning, I’ve had the most extraordinary conversations with some very interesting people from all over the world, travelling on the tube yesterday was most interesting, my son laughs and says no one chats on the tube mum…… I do 🤣

dogsmother

I’m a huge chatter to strangers and have heard more tales of woe than I ever did when I was actually working.

I think part of that is that when one is older then it's a logical conclusion to draw that you've been through a lot of the bad stuff Life dishes out and will (should) understand. Yep....in my own case = relationship problems, illness of my own, illness inflicted on me by outside factors, housing problems, unfair dismissal, unemployment, low income, sex discrimination etc etc etc and yep.....a lot of older people have "been through the mill" a few times themselves in one way or another on the one hand v. there's others who have or have had a happy marriage/children they wanted to have/got grandchildren and want to swop photos and anecdotes with others who are grandparents.

But - one way or another - by this age there will have been "a lot of Life lived" by many of us. Though, even if we haven't been through something personally = then maybe it's something we've heard about frequently before. I think I "specialise" in hearing tales from ex battered wives - which is odd...as I've never been in that situation myself (ie one slap across the face years back from a boyfriend and 5 minutes later I'd walked out the door and he was history) - but maybe I get told about that because it's clear any man would only ever have got one slap in and I would have "walked out the door" and never seen him again and so perhaps they're looking for how to be that strong and determined that they won't get in that position ever again and think "She's learnt how to spot these men and avoid them - maybe I can pick up tips...".

I’ve been told that I have a face that people talk to! My mum was just the same. I exchanged Christmas cards for years with a lady that I met on a very long train journey. She lived alone and I like to think it helped her. I love speaking to people and hearing their stories.

I find I have proper conversations rather than a quick “good morning” when I’m walking my daughter or son’s dogs. Other dog walkers stop and chat.

Maremia

On buses, yes, also trains, but never planes. Wonder why not?
More stress, being on a plane?

My son has made several business acquaintances on planes!

People seem to seek me out to tell me their life story.
I think I must seem approachable.

I also have strangers talk to me in shops and bus stops etc and often they tell me all about themselves and their families. I do wonder if it is a female thing though as, when he was working, my DH could work with someone for 20 years but if I asked him whether they were married or had children he often didn’t know. He’d know what car they drove or what football team they supported though! Whereas, if I had a new member of staff I’d know their complete life story on the first day!
As for people saying good morning in the street, I think, if you live in a village, it is generally usual for people to greet each other in the street, even if they don’t know each other, but not so much so in a town.

My daughters say I've one of those faces that people talk to

I've been embarrassing my DC for decades by speaking to strangers. Just the other day at the pantomime I began chatting to the woman in the neighbouring seat, DD tugged at my arm and frowned.
I know my place.

Round here it's usual to acknowledge everyone you pass on a country walk.
If they don't respond, I assume they are deaf.

Over 50 years ago my mum struck up a friendship with a lady she met at a local bus stop on a regular basis.
This led to her meeting the lady's family, becoming friendly with them which resulted in her and my dad being invited to Perth in Australia, to stay with the lady's family there.

I will say hello or good morning if I meet someone when I'm out with the dog, but other than that, I can go for days without speaking to another person apart from my husband. He, on the other hand, will talk to anyone he comes across. I think I'm this way after a lifetime spent interviewing people for work.

GoodAfternoonTea

I live by a long stretch of disused railway line which has been converted into a pleasant three mile walk, safe, in nature, with lots of wildlife. Walking from one end to the other I must have passed at least twenty people, not one said hello, smiled, or acknowledged my passing by. I now ignore people too. It's easier that way.

That's a shame. I too live by a former railway line, now a walking/cycling/horse riding track and everyone pretty much 100% acknowledges everyone else. The only exception is those wearing headphones which is fair enough I suppose.

My husband and I go walking two or three times a week. It is noticeable that people over 40 will say good morning or make a comment about the weather etc. However anyone younger just look away.

Himself calls me his ‘meeter and greeter”. 😁

Yes, always chat to strangers - out walking with the dog, in shops, the garden centre, travelling by train, bus or plane. It always cheers me up.

Not a natural 'joiner in-er' I have nevertheless, made the most lovely 'coffee date' friends just through chatting on the park, out on local walks and in town. Long Live Chatting!

BlueBelle

But did you smile or speak to them Goodafternoontea ? Perhaps everyone, being reserved Brits, was waiting for the other to speak first.
I find myself smiling at everyone I meet, not on purpose, it just happens. If Iwas passing on a wildlife path like you I be saying good morning or something whether they did or not
Bet they would have all answered if you d have said ‘lovely day’ to them

No, round here not everyone answers if you say hello, Happy Christmas or Lovely morning.
I just smile at people I meet when I'm out walking,unless I know them, but my husband says hello to everyone we pass. If they ignore him, he gives their retreating backs a dirty look.

Magenta8

I walked over to my DDs for tea on Christmas day. There were not many people around. I wished a man who was walking in the opposite direction "Happy Christmas." He stopped and stared at me for a second and then said "Pardon." I repeated my greeting and he just said "Oh" and walked on. The other two people I greeted blanked me.

People are not very sociable round my way. It reminded me why, most of the time, I don't bother.

Miserable git wasn’t he?
A polite reply to a greeting costs nothing.