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Not ‘ school-ready’.

(153 Posts)
Cabbie21 Thu 22-Jan-26 13:58:31

The percentage of children not ready for school has increased, 37% I think, in today’s news. Over 25% are not toilet trained.

Of course there will always be children with developmental difficulties, but is this general increase because both parents need to work earn money, so there is not enough time with their children ?
Or is ‘ child-led’ toilet training, feeding etc responsible?

Some children have never experienced books and treat them like tablets or phones.

Guidelines are to be issued, but I would not want to be a Reception teacher these days.

Grandmabatty Thu 22-Jan-26 14:12:15

I worked full time when my children were small and managed to toilet train them and teach them how to fasten their jacket and shoes. My daughter and son in law have managed to do it with their boys, despite working long hours. I think it's an excuse and something else some parents leave for schools to do

Sarnia Thu 22-Jan-26 14:21:58

Sign of the times, I'm afraid. I feel so sad when I see young Mums with a small child in a buggy who is being completely ignored because Mum is more interested with her phone than to interact with her little one.
I think schools should refuse to accept children who are not toilet trained. Unless a child has development issues there is no excuse for a 4-5 year old not being dry and clean. If parents were told their child could not go to school they would soon buck their ideas up. It should never be the Reception teacher's job.

Fartooold Thu 22-Jan-26 14:27:34

My three with Down Syndrome were all clean and dry around their third birthday. It wasn’t difficult but required time! Parents nowadays have to put their children into daycare to earn enough money to survive and the poor children do not get the consistency with several caregivers!
I find it so sad that some children swipe a page of a book to turn a page.

eazybee Thu 22-Jan-26 14:47:22

It does not take long to toilet train a child; the easiest way is to pick a time when the weather is warm and they are able to run around outside in towelling pants. It took both of mine about a fortnight to be dry at night, and similar in the day, barring the occasional accident; they were between two and a half and three, depending on the time of their birthday.

Some mothers are definitely more lazy, 'the school will sort it out', same as speech problems, and it is the ones at home all day who don't work who are the worst. Schools cannot refuse to take children who are not toilet trained; it is regarded as 'special needs' which have to be accommodated by the school and also fund T.A.s to train them. Generally takes about two weeks.
Covid is still being used as an excuse for poor parenting.

grandMattie Thu 22-Jan-26 14:52:30

I blame disposable nappies. It’s so much easier to just shove another one on…

But a lot of parents expect “the school” to bring up their children- toothbrushing, table manners, reading, toilet training.

GrannyGravy13 Thu 22-Jan-26 15:17:32

I think it’s a combination of things, two parents working long hours and consequently always exhausted and running to catch up with home life. Often dealing with older siblings, clubs, homework etc.

Toddlers/infants in full time childcare facilities. I remember when mine were in nursery I informed them when I was potty training and what method I was using and they were happy to continue when with them.

Along with the new type disposable nappies, being so efficient that babies and toddlers do not feel wet

The ages of those starting in reception range from just 4 to just 5 years old.

Whilst this is as growing number, it has always been the case of some children not being fully trained when going to school.

ferry23 Thu 22-Jan-26 15:36:11

In my day as a young parent, they had to be dry before they went to Play School, let alone primary school.

My Mum was a working Mum, and so was I. Being a "busy" parent is a poor excuse. Sorry.

watermeadow Thu 22-Jan-26 15:47:55

Children here start school earlier than most countries. Summer-born children are only just four when they start full-time formal school. It’s too soon for those slow to mature or from bad homes.

Fallingstar Thu 22-Jan-26 15:50:56

Am not entirely sure this percentage is right, after all they can’t canvass all schools and parents in the UK, a selection would have to be made. All my GCs were school ready, and most people we know who have GCs seem to have ACs who manage to get their children ready for school, same goes for our AC’s friends who have children.

Allira Thu 22-Jan-26 16:18:57

grandMattie

I blame disposable nappies. It’s so much easier to just shove another one on…

But a lot of parents expect “the school” to bring up their children- toothbrushing, table manners, reading, toilet training.

👏👏👏

Allira Thu 22-Jan-26 16:21:55

ferry23

In my day as a young parent, they had to be dry before they went to Play School, let alone primary school.

My Mum was a working Mum, and so was I. Being a "busy" parent is a poor excuse. Sorry.

The rules changed many years ago and schools and school nurseries were not allowed to refuse to take a child who was not toilet trained.
Of course, children with additional needs were accepted even if they were not toilet trained.

GrannyGravy13 Thu 22-Jan-26 16:22:04

Fallingstar

Am not entirely sure this percentage is right, after all they can’t canvass all schools and parents in the UK, a selection would have to be made. All my GCs were school ready, and most people we know who have GCs seem to have ACs who manage to get their children ready for school, same goes for our AC’s friends who have children.

Yes, that is my experience of being on school pick up for my current crop of GC for the last 6 years.

There have been no children in the youngest fours reception classes who were not toilet trained.

(Currently one in yr 6, one in yr 4 and two in yr 1)

Greyduster Thu 22-Jan-26 16:26:32

I am prepared to be corrected here, but aren’t these statistics relating to children on free school meals who come from poorer households, or children generally?

Chocolatelovinggran Thu 22-Jan-26 16:30:46

Early Years teacher here. I remember a small boy looking at his school lunch, then at me. I picked up the spoon, thinking perhaps the knife and fork were the problem, whereupon he smiled, and opened his mouth, awaiting me feeding him.
I spoke with mum at the end of the day, who was puzzled " But I always feed him - isn't that what dinner ladies are for?"

LOUISA1523 Thu 22-Jan-26 17:00:11

Greyduster

I am prepared to be corrected here, but aren’t these statistics relating to children on free school meals who come from poorer households, or children generally?

All children in reception class get free school meals...even the children of multi millionaires

Smileless2012 Thu 22-Jan-26 17:01:48

It's not just being toilet trained. Some don't know how to use cutlery or what to do with a book!!! It's lazy parenting.

LadyBridgerton Thu 22-Jan-26 17:26:09

watermeadow

Children here start school earlier than most countries. Summer-born children are only just four when they start full-time formal school. It’s too soon for those slow to mature or from bad homes.

A usual excuse but it's been achieved by the time they start school since time immemorial, what's changed? Parents working has also been usual and they didn't expect school to bring up their children. A lot of 'modern' ideas seem to cause difficulties, can't be toilet trained until they can write a note almost, poor sleeping because they are in the same room, each disturbs the other. Just because it's the current advice doesn't make it compulsory, our advice was to sleep on their front, look how well that turned out.

Squiffy Thu 22-Jan-26 17:29:06

When my chatty GD started school a couple of years ago, she approached other new children and started talking to them. Some of them just looked at her, bewildered, unable to chat. How sad is that?

kittylester Thu 22-Jan-26 17:39:13

When mine started kindergarten they had to be able to tie their own shoelaces never-ending manage the loo on their own.

Doodledog Thu 22-Jan-26 17:42:26

I worked when mine were little (albeit part-time until the younger one was ready for school) and I resent the idea that working parents are responsible for children not being socialised. It's not as though children are raised by wolves when their parents work. Grandparents, childminders and nurseries are all capable of backing up the parents' attempts at potty training children and helping them to use cutlery.

It is far more likely to be parents with issues of their own who don't get their children ready for school. People with drug or alcohol problems, or mental ill-health who have fallen through the cracks, and they are less likely to be employed. A parent who can hold down a job, run a house and organise childcare is highly likely to be capable of basic parenting.

I remember when my son started school (he's 35 now) and there were news reports of children not being able to use cutlery or know how to hold a book when they started school. None of the children in his school fell into this category though - I'm not saying it doesn't happen, but I very much doubt the problems are widespread. they are probably concentrated in areas of deprivation. Oh, and it was single parents who got the blame back then - the ones who didn't work.

Daddima Thu 22-Jan-26 17:59:17

Fartooold

My three with Down Syndrome were all clean and dry around their third birthday. It wasn’t difficult but required time! Parents nowadays have to put their children into daycare to earn enough money to survive and the poor children do not get the consistency with several caregivers!
I find it so sad that some children swipe a page of a book to turn a page.

Now, not for a moment believe that families should just ‘survive’, but I wonder just how many families NEED two salaries rather than WANT two salaries.
Part of my job used to be going into schools’ ‘nurture classes’ where some children could get extra support, and often demonstrating to their parents how to read to a child was necessary. Mind you, often I had to tell them to please put their phones away.

Daddima Thu 22-Jan-26 18:03:36

watermeadow

Children here start school earlier than most countries. Summer-born children are only just four when they start full-time formal school. It’s too soon for those slow to mature or from bad homes.

Cut off date for school in Scotland is being 5 by the end of February, so when school starts in August the youngest are four and a half, the oldest five and a half, so a just turned four year old would be unlikely to start school.

GrannyGravy13 Thu 22-Jan-26 18:04:22

Yes Doodledog I remember that time as DD is coming up to 33.

How about considering that children develop at different times.

Especially those born 2019/2020/2021 the so called COVID babies, had little to no baby activities, no play dates, there were no play centres or even parks open.

We do not know how the lockdowns affected their parent/s and other family members.

I do know of men sitting in their cars waiting to be summoned to the delivery room at the very last minute. Their wives left to Labour on their own without any emotional support, with overworked midwifery staff.

The experts are only just finding out the consequences of the above.

Oreo Thu 22-Jan-26 18:04:56

watermeadow

Children here start school earlier than most countries. Summer-born children are only just four when they start full-time formal school. It’s too soon for those slow to mature or from bad homes.

This is the truth of the matter .