Going with a friend

Agree - unless this friend of yours is very gregarious and meets up and chats with others, leaving you to do your own thing.
Personally, I am rather afraid of travelling on my own.
But having lunch, or going round historic houses etc, I’d rather go on my own.

I m exactly like you I can do things with a friend but I m equally comfortable going to the cinema (even prefer it sometimes) or theatre alone. I ve never gone in pubs apart from a lunch so wouldn’t do that alone, I don’t find eating so good on your own but have done it
In the situation you are in I d prefer to go on my own too making new friends as I go, so I think if she asks again I’d say well I won’t share a lift because I m calling at …… on my way back or some such excuse and see if you can get away with it that way. Awkward though

Personally, I think it is good to have, and to enjoy, time on one's own. In the case of the friend who wants to share lifts, I'd need to 'nip to M&S to take something back' quite often.

And, I love driving on my own either with music, of my choice, blaring away or in silence. I used to love taking the children back to uni (Sheffield, Oxford or Keele) if they had been home for a weekend.

Not sure i would be so relaxed about going to things on my own (thankfully I haven't had to) but I do know that you are unlikely to be becoming antisocial.

🤣🤣Thank you!
I feel better already but foresee problems in the lift-sharing area. I can try to get out of it occasionally , claiming I have to be somewhere first, but I am absolutely useless at —lying— excuses 😳😳😳

In that case you will need to order lots of stuff on line and keep returning it. Xx

Or not! 🤣🤣🤣🤣

I go to things on my own.

So many people seem to need company though.

Things like Aquacise, unable to attend anything fresh on their own.

Safety in numbers?

RosiesMaw

Perhaps you can compromise, share lifts occasionally, but state tactfully but firmly that sometimes, you need to go alone to do other stuff.

Why not say it ll be lovely seeing you there, however I won’t share a lift because I ll be calling at great aunt Ermatrudes on the way back, save me going in the week blah blah or something like that.

I don't often post but I felt I had to answer you Rosie. I think I would be halfway honest and say I'm not very good at driving with company, and it's my chill time. And smile and say you hope she understands. Otherwise you're stuck with it. I have M.E. and have told a cousin I can't collect her for family meetups. We're still on good terms.

I prefer to go to events, the cinema etc with someone else because it's the shared aspect which appeals to me. However I happily trot off to art class on my own. I would not be impressed at someone deciding they were going to piggy back on my journey.

It’s hard to draw a line between being a friend and being independent and making new friends.
I struggle to get out of doing things when I think people are only being kind wanting to keep me company.
When my husband died 3 years ago, I went on holiday on my own. I was scared but everything went well. My sister in law said no don’t go way on your own I will go with you, Twice I have been and didn’t enjoy it. I feel guilty but she has walking problems, has assisted travel and needs special requirements in hotels also she has to have a special diet. I couldn’t wander about and sightsee or call into a cafe or restaurant without checking she could eat something. I couldn’t sit and read my book or quietly people watch as she talks incessantly. I felt lime her carer. All this makes me sound horrible but in general I do a lot for her.
I am already making excuses not to go with her away again. Another friend recently widowed has asked me to go on a cruise with her, fortunately SIL hates cruises.

In the last two years I went on holiday to Greece on my own but part of a package. The first one was difficult as I was rarely spoken to in the whole of the two weeks. Fortunately I knew the village well so enjoyed being independent and abroad. The following year I went on another package type holiday to a different part of Greece. This time very different, lots of chats and great conversations. I loved it. I think there’s a time to do something on your own as it were but other times it’s good to mix it up if you can.

You might find this interesting. She mentions solo cinema trips in the first "habit"

www.youtube.com/watch?v=PdPQH9sxGJo

I go to an exercise class weekly on my own travelling about 10 miles. I have made new friends there and enjoy the journey there and often pop into a garden centre or Tesco’s on the way back. I love the freedom of just me. One of my neighbours recently expressed an interest in joining me and we now share the driving her one week me the next. She is good company but I long to just go on my own some weeks so know how you feel. She enjoys stopping off with me on route home so cannot use that excuse!

I also enjoy going on long walks and shopping on my own too. I enjoy company of friends but not all the time.

I much prefer doing some things on my own. My walks are much better alone. I like shopping on my own and going for a coffee to read the news or just people watch.
I haven't been on holiday alone but have had a night or two away.
I do like company but enjoy time on my own too. Best if both worlds.

It’s a difficult one. I’m happy to do most things on my own, although I don’t like eating out other than just a coffee, unless somebody else is there, but I’m conscious that not everybody is, I’ve got one friend who is quite nervous, and wouldn’t take part in many activities on her own. I don’t think it’s something some people can get over, so I try to do things together with her so she gets out and about.

I m far far from an introvert Daisy
I absolutely hate shopping with anyone, even my own family
I have holidayed alone on one occasion and enjoyed it as much as with someone, it was just the evening meal on my own seemed a bit less attractive, perfectly manageable but wouldn’t chose it ….I did have a man stop to chat and ask if I d like to go to the headland to see the sunset He may have been ok but I took no chances and thanked him but told him I was going out with a friend later. (he did have a nice sports car outside !)

Did she ask f it was okay if she joined the group Rosie? I think I'd be a bit pissed off with her if she joined my 'nice thing' and then suggested I drive her there!

It sounds as though it’s too late for you, Maw but a cheery ‘See you there!’ would knock the lifts bit on the head. I think it can be difficult when two separate bits of your life ‘collide’ in this way. In your circumstances I’d always be vague about whether I could attend the next session so ‘you’d better make your own arrangements.’ I can see that it will somehow suck some of the pleasure out of the occasion, though.

I am happy going to things on my own but I could never eat out on my own.
I don’t mean coffee and a sandwich in M&S or a small local cafe but never in a restaurant or even a nice pub.

I am a terribly impatient person and hate waiting. I could envisage a lot of waiting around, sharing a lift. I have always been happy with my own company. DH is not at all gregarious so I have always gone to things on my own
Good luck with it all RosiesMaw, these things are difficult and pop up out of the blue. Hope it works out air right for you

If anyone does look at the link I put up (the channel is called "Silver and Solo") you will see that it about how introverts deal with being single in later life - although I don't think you have to be single or an introvert to benefit from the videos.

However, some people don't like the idea of being seen as introverted. It may help to remember this definition: 'An introvert is someone who recharges through solitude and depth rather than stimulation and volume.'

I feel just like you, met some lovely women also on their own, pleased myself when I go or come to events.

TBH, if you can, I'd be frank.
"thats a nice idea but I like to go on my own as I either often fit in other things around it and often like to be alone with my thoughts or rush home ...but of course I want to carry on our chats/coffees as always".