urgent please advise

Sorry to hear about all this.

How old is your grandchild?
Asking in case your DD has post natal depression?

How old is the child?
Is it PND?
She needs to see her GP ASAP.

It sounds very much as if your daughter is mentally unwell, it could be undiagnosed post natal depression.
You need to inform social services about the situation because the child’s safety is paramount, then you need to do everything in your power to get your daughter to see a doctor.
Am not sure what else you can do but you certainly can’t leave this as it is.
So sorry you are going through this. Wish I could help more.

Oh dear, what a terrible and heartbreaking situation.

Sounds as if your DD is suffering some kind of breakdown.

Can you take your DGD asap, whilst your DD gets some professional help?

Can you afford to pay for help for and said DGD.

Are there siblings who can help.

How old is your DGD?

She needs urgent help, doesnt she. It seems like, Mental Health help.

1. Is she alone, is the father involved at all. If the father is involved, do you have a relationship with him. How old is her child?

2. Do you know who her GP is? Yes it is intrusive to ring them but it sounds bad enough. If they wont get involved, they may at least give you advice.

3. Ring MIND tomorrow as follows
Mind's Infoline (0300 123 3393) provides confidential mental health advice and support, open 9am to 6pm, Monday to Friday (excluding bank holidays). Advisors offer information on diagnosis, treatment, and local services. They may point you in a helpful direction.

4. Has she any friends you know, what is she saying to them, is she getting support from friends.

5. Ring your local council for the contact telephone number for Children's Social Services. Is she treating the child OK and losing after them properly? You might be asked.

Yes, do contact SS asap, they should be able allocate a social worker or family worker, however, please don’t expect them to act quickly unless your DGD is in danger.

Sorry, correction, looking after her child not losing.

You might also be asked, how long she has been feeling this way, it's significant.

Look at this page, it gives how to contact the NSPCC. Not to complain about absue or neglect, but for advice

parents.actionforchildren.org.uk/other-helplines-and-support/

Granddaughter is 2yr old and told her she needs to see doctor she is so dismissive about it. Even before having child if she wasn’t happy she bolted and would leave the UK. I have said she could have PND and she is just says what’s the point I told her they can help. I am trying not to get angry keep taking deep breaths. Really don’t know what to do.

You could try contacting your daughter's surgery & explaining that she seems unwell, see if a health visitor can get out urgently to see how your daughter & granddaughter are.
There are confidentiality issues, but most will take information from close family members on board.
That seems to me less distressing than a visit from social services & although the HV might refer to them, I don't think it's a situation you can safely deal with alone.

Thank you I will do things first thing I really do think she needs something.

So it's been difficult from the start?

Straight question - is the child suffering - then urgent action.

I also think she is possibly a bit manipulative of you. Panicking you. A bit punitive to you?

Dont let that stop you acting, yes ring those helplines tomorrow, but if she has been feeling these things for a long time, drawing you in to worry about her and refusing to seek help its quite complex. Do talk this over with MIND.

You need support too. Don't forget, if you re very isolated, the Samaritans is not just for people who feel suicidal which is their reputation

*but also for people coping with situations they feel impossible and alone with. Samaritans will hear you out, 24/7.

"Whatever you're going through, call us free any time, from any phone, on 116 123."

I’m so sorry your daughter is struggling and wants to relinquish her daughter. For what yiu have said, she was ambivalent, ant best about her pregnancy. It’s obviously very serious for her to be talking to you in such desperate terms.

Is it likely your daughter will have talked to midwives, health visitors and doctors about her struggles? There are good suggestions here about you approaching GP or health visitor. Any health visitor would see this as a safeguarding issue and refer to the social work team. SW would want to support mum and daughter while the assess and try and work out the best way forward

Another option is you contact the nspcc - they don’t investigate or knock on doors but can be good very experienced social workers as a point of call for family members,. Like the health visitors they’d refer this to the social work team,

The child at the centre of this must be safe. Absolute top priority and urgent as it is unclear where things might go with her mothers mental state

1. Get your GC and have her to stay with you. Tell her mum it will give her a break to think.

2. Ring her GP. Tell them what your daughter is saying. Tell them she is clearly not well mentally in your view. They should advise/ take next steps

3. Contact child protection/Social Services and ask for help.

I am sorry that you are facing this 💐

At least she is being honest. As others say, the child's safety comes first. Get onto Social Services. They will surely put the child into foster care.

mum2three, children’s services will assess whether support can maintain the child with mum, while a comprehensive assessment is undertaken

If they decide on initial visit the little girl is at immediate risk, they look to family first.

mum2three

At least she is being honest. As others say, the child's safety comes first. Get onto Social Services. They will surely put the child into foster care.

No they won’t! See Iam64 comments.

The last thing that OP and this little girl need is to be placed with strangers.

OP good luck to all three of you and please keep us posted x

Lots of good advice above. I would say that even if the your DGD is not physically at risk she doesn't sound as though she is getting the love she desperately needs from her mum.

I hope you can get help very soon. This is an awful situation for you.

Is the child’s father in her life, if so could he help?

As Cossy said please keep us posted.
💐

There is a real gap in the market here for somewhere equivalent to a cattery or kennells where you can dump your kids for a few days when you need a break. Somewhere they will be fed, watered and changed but little else. Call it a Kiddy-bunker.

Not the best comment ginger even with the best intent.

friendlygingercat

There is a real gap in the market here for somewhere equivalent to a cattery or kennells where you can dump your kids for a few days when you need a break. Somewhere they will be fed, watered and changed but little else. Call it a Kiddy-bunker.

Please don’t joke, this is a desperately sad and worrying situation.

^ Get your GC and have her to stay with you. Tell her mum it will give her a break to think.
^

If you dont feel up to it, understandably, is there another trusted family member, or trusted friemd that would be willing to help?