Why do I feel so guilty?

I have no problem sitting reading. I don't look at it as wasting time as I've learned so much. I can also sit and day dream and don't feel guilty. I think nowadays it's called mindfulness and well being, good for mental health

I'm sorry that your upbringing still has such an impact on your day to day life Sago. You have every right to rest when you are ill, and even when you're not! We don't have to be busy for the sake of being busy. And who says reading a book, broadening our horizons has less value than... I don't even know what. What should you be doing? Scrubbing the grout with a toothbrush?

Yes, I feel guilty if I have a lazy day. Perhaps you need to put up venetian blinds if your neighbour can see into your lounge.....(there you see.....there's a reason why it's called a lounge!)

I live at the top of a culdesac with a little lane to go to the other side of the ‘View’, as we call it.
Everyone has to pass my house to use the culdesac. 😫
My armchair is by the window, so I have to close the blinds , so that the ‘regulars’ dont see this lazy so-and-so

mum2three

Yes, I feel guilty if I have a lazy day. Perhaps you need to put up venetian blinds if your neighbour can see into your lounge.....(there you see.....there's a reason why it's called a lounge!)

Our home is very private, the neighbour was up a tall ladder doing his hedge.

You need to rest to recover more quickly.

I still rarely read during the day, not because I was ever beaten or smacked (how dreadful) but because my mother used to tell me to get my nose out of the book and go outside to get some fresh air. Perhaps I feel guilty too.

Being on GN is more like work 😁

My home was like yours Sago. Sitting down was considered the past time of the idle so didn’t dare to not be doing something! Sadly I’ve never been able to shake that off but it’s not a good trait. I know I could spend 24/7 doing nothing but my inner self forbids it!

Oh sago I empathise. I was like you for a long time until I learned that my life is my life and if I want to sit and do nothing then there is nothing wrong with that. Other peoples opinions do not matter. The most recent comment was from the window cleaner who saw me sitting reading and made some stupid comment like living the life of Riley. It was delicious to realise that I absolutely did not give a duck what he thought. (He retired after that visit, coincidentally).

I am the same. I can’t sit down during the day when it’s a ‘work day’. I listen to audiobooks so then I can carry around my phone or put headphones on. I feel so guilty. I’d love to curl up and read an actual book or put on a film during the day in the week but I can’t.
I’m a lot better on a weekend when DH is home too and we relax together.

At 75 its dawned that I needn't be ashamed of being seen not doing anything of significance. Yesterday I actually let the bloke returning my car hear I had...gasp! Daytime TV on.

But yes, its taken that long really, I wasnt in this space at 62.

As in - life is to be enjoyed not sentenced to other's "oughts"!!!!

Crazy isn’t it?

I’m glad I’m not the only one.

I have no problem with anyone relaxing during the day and I wish I was able to, I have however had a great day, toasty warm by the fire watching the rugby and sipping tea.

What’s on tv tomorrow that you would enjoy watching? I think you should have another day of just pleasing yourself and not feeling guilty about it. You will recover from your virus all the quicker if you just rest yourself.

I should be finishing my crochet blanket.
However, after two 🍷🍷 I might make a mistake so I'm on here.

Please excuse any O and E.

I used to be like this but now because I care for my DH full time I will, when I get the chance, sit down before I fall down, and stay there plonked in front of something rubbish on Netflix or Prime and not move again until I have to.
Make the most of some down time because it is later than you think and you deserve it. You really do 💐

The days I go to work I m ultra busy the days I stay at home
I m not and don’t feel the least bit guilty
It’s life

I’m sorry to read your childhood experience sago . I didn’t have that, I. Fact was encouraged to retreat to my bedroom and read.
I’m recovering from a horrible infection. I’m not good at sitting ariund, I can read for an hour then feel I should be cleaning, gardening etc. I’m just too exhausted to do these things so I’m having a word with myself about self care. It doesn’t come easy to many of us does it

It's OK to rest and relax. I have been forced into that situation recently and to start with I felt miserable and frustrated, but now I am telling myself that this is just a different patch in my life when I have to do and not do things I would usually do.

I have found some splendid films, and the DDs gave me a sub to NT at Home and I have watched lots of plays. I have listened to some lovely audiobooks and generally been a bit of a vegetable - but needs must and feeling guilty on topp of this isd a npoointk,ess way to go.

Put your feet up and enjoy it and let who will see you!

Hope you will be feeling better soon.

Sago , you were very badly treated in childhood!!! Don't let that shocking experience cloud your life. Sit back, relax and enjoy your me time.

That’s so sad OP that you were chastised for reading. It’s something that should always be encouraged. I appreciate this has affected your ability to relax these days!
I’m not particularly good at it either and had set aside this afternoon to sit on the sofa and read a good few chapters of my book. But I keep getting up to do bits and bobs and have got nowhere with my reading. We’ve reached an age where we’re allowed to relax and you have my permission!

I knit for charity and feel like I'm doing nothing when I'm knitting. I'm sure my husband thinks I should be doing housework instead. Maybe it's because my mum and gran only knitted in the evenings when the chores were done.

You can't please everyone so just please yourself...STOP WORRYING ABOUT OTHER PEOPLE...its your home

So sorry to hear of your sad childhood.
A number of my retired friends admit to feeling guilty if they sit down to read during the day but they are trying hard to overcome the guilt. I usually manage an hour in the afternoon and then another hour when I go to bed.

You aren't just sitting doing nothing; you are recuperating. If you broke your leg, would you insist on walking on it? It's the same thing. Get well soon.

Put a blanket around yourself and look ill - but not so ill he ends up knocking on your door to offer help! And get some counselling. That sounds like a lot of childhood trauma, you poor bunny! (NOT being patronising - my own childhood is what has encouraged me to become a counsellor)

Well earlier this year due to fluid i had to sit with legs up or risk hospital.. well I took it seriously and now do it most days ..sod the house work it still there tomorrow, but I may not be ..
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