Why do I feel so guilty?

You can do whatever you want and don't feel guilty! I more concerned with you saying you 'got a beating'....that's awful... I think it's way we were brought up . If I said I was boredmy dad would say 'I'll find you something to do!' He would laugh and I would disappear but my parents would never have beaten me....

I was the same for many years; when I was growing up reading was akin to doing nothing and my dream was to watch the Saturday pm sport programme all the way through 😁 Mum could always find a job to be done.
And when I left a City job for the rural life it was years before I felt able to relax during the day. Damned work ethic.

Self-care didn't really exist as a concept when I was young but then again we didn't have wall to wall communication via emails, whatsapp and sms so we weren't bombarded with incoming responsibilities to look, check and respond. Whether we had time to sit and read or pursue a gentle hobby or not, the big difference between then and now is that everything was done a lot slower and stress levels weren't anything to talk about. Now we're overwhelmed with high speed communications and expected to keep on top of things so we have to think about self-care. If we don't, we go under and that does nobody any good. So, Sago - forget that negative voice that tells you what you were brought up to do and switch to a more positive voice that says look after yourself, nobody cares whether you sit and read a book, watch TV in the afternoon or stare into space and listen to music. You need to regenerate.

'What is this life if full of care we have not time to stand and stare?'
Actually, life has always been stressful. There has always been something to worry about. Just ask survivors of the Blitz and families bereaved suddenly by war and accident or upheavals due to redundancy, illness and poverty.
Self care would be seen by our predecessors as self indulgence! It still is in my opinion but I'm quite happy to indulge myself.

The actions of this neighbour means you have lost your privacy in your living room, so in your situation I would be scrolling garden centres looking for bushes or hedging to rectify that.

Like many probably I was brought up to be far far too concerned abut what others thought of me, indeed sometimes to the extent that I part form/ed my opinion of ourself by feedback from others.

....and I don't mean "keeping up appearances" as in being "posh", but real everyday life.

Its hard to detach from this, but a journey well worth attempting.

I wonder if a generation thing ? So many of us feel guilty for "doing nothing". I cant be sitting down if DH comes home, I have to be doing something. He has never said anything but old habits die hard.

The Italians have an expressions for it: dolce farniente (sure I"ve misspelt). But then they are catholics so see nothing wrong with just enjoying life while doing nothing much.

Goldieoldie15

The Italians have an expressions for it: dolce farniente (sure I"ve misspelt). But then they are catholics so see nothing wrong with just enjoying life while doing nothing much.

For me Catholicism made it worse, as an Irish Catholic being idle was very much a sin, particularly if you are a woman.

Lets look at it another way. You are busy . Your body is fighting a virus so that in the future you can "be busy" It may take a few days or not but if it does last more than a few days - see a Dr. and not Dr. Google.
Enjoy your rest perhaps with a book. Daytime TV is pretty poor, mind you, evening TV is not much better.

I could never sit for long - too much to do. When I retired, a young woman in my office handed me a box containing some fruit tea, a box of expensive chocolates a bath salt sachet and a book.
She told me that a few months after I stopped, I should take a few days and use them all, just for me. I have passed this on a few times.
My DH will always find something that I have not done when I sit, but I have learned finally to tell him "later"
You just have to unlearn activity, and learn to love just taking time for you - not easy, but you will get there

Surely there is a limit to exactly how much housework needs done. If your DH finds things for you to do tell him to do them himself if he's that bothered about it.

Aveline.....oh yes, me too

Sago

Goldieoldie15

The Italians have an expressions for it: dolce farniente (sure I"ve misspelt). But then they are catholics so see nothing wrong with just enjoying life while doing nothing much.

For me Catholicism made it worse, as an Irish Catholic being idle was very much a sin, particularly if you are a woman.

Satan makes work for idle hands - or so I was told!

Aveline

Surely there is a limit to exactly how much housework needs done. If your DH finds things for you to do tell him to do them himself if he's that bothered about it.

My DH will always find something that I have not done when I sit
Really, FranP? 😲

Aveline absolutely!