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Desperately sad story of the assisted suicide of a grieving mother

(22 Posts)
JenniferEccles Fri 24-Apr-26 17:09:37

Wendy Duffy’s only son died in tragic circumstances four years ago and his mother said her heart was too broken to carry on, so she travelled to Dignitas yesterday.

There will be differing opinions of course but who can decide how much anguish anyone can endure?

LOUISA1523 Fri 24-Apr-26 17:19:04

It makes for very sad reading ....you can't imagine feeling that the 'better' option is death....but we don't walk in her shoes

Usedtobeblonde Fri 24-Apr-26 17:35:13

I told the story on here last year of meeting a woman who was desperately sad about the death of her 40something son.
She got so emotional she couldn’t carry on speaking.
I asked her friend how long it had been since her Son died and she said 18 years.
For some people it never goes away.
I find it very sad and believe the sons in both these cases would not want their mothers to give up their life to grieving.

JenniferEccles Fri 24-Apr-26 17:46:10

If the poor mother was in any way religious, as I understand it, she would believe she would be reunited with her son on her death.
A powerful incentive.

Wyllow3 Fri 24-Apr-26 17:55:53

You have indeed touched on the most poignant possibilities of assisted dying

And I agree with you who are we to judge - I couldn't: when the person has "full capabilities and so on

Details here of how she passed (the criteria)

www.bristolpost.co.uk/news/uk-world-news/wendy-duffy-dies-swiss-clinic-10932774

Ultimately we cant stop someone determined to take their own life, its so tragic ..but would we rather she had the terror alone of choosing some awful way?

Wyllow3 Fri 24-Apr-26 17:57:20

It used to be a sin and you wouldn't see your son but we are past that now? (not sure on my theology here)

keepingquiet Fri 24-Apr-26 17:59:48

This is very sad- I wonder if she has any other family who are now grieving her loss?

Willfully assisting someone to die in these circumstances does not sit easily with me...

Kate1949 Fri 24-Apr-26 18:01:18

Poor lady. Who knows what she was going through? When my lovely nephew died at 16, his mother couldn't cope. She died of a heart attack aged 49.

GrannyGravy13 Fri 24-Apr-26 18:05:46

I cannot imagine her pain at losing her son, but going to Dignitas due to a broken heart doesn’t seem right to me.

Wyllow3 Fri 24-Apr-26 18:08:33

Read the article, it did help me understand? I also thought of those it might affect, but she seems to be a loner.

Wyllow3 Fri 24-Apr-26 18:09:45

I think using the word " broken heart" is how she put it, almost trite: but to call it a profound depression utterly beyond reach is what some suffer.

BlueBelle Fri 24-Apr-26 18:22:04

Well she was fit and was able why go to Dignatas she could take tablets herself lay on her own bed and go herself

keepingquiet Fri 24-Apr-26 18:25:01

BlueBelle

Well she was fit and was able why go to Dignatas she could take tablets herself lay on her own bed and go herself

My thoughts too- why involve anyone else in making a decision they may later regret?

Grief does funny things to people, but helping someone to die like this seems all kinds of wrong.

merlotgran Fri 24-Apr-26 18:25:06

I haven’t read the article. Too painful but I’m so sorry that the poor woman couldn’t move on enough to make her life worth living.

Usedtobeblonde Fri 24-Apr-26 18:28:19

This lady didn’t go to Dignitas I understand.
She would not have passed the criteria for Dignitas and the place she did use is not as regulated.

Wyllow3 Fri 24-Apr-26 18:33:40

It's not easy to get tablets that can kill yourself for that these days any more: unless you stash really huge amounts of prescription drugs, you'd have to buy illegally on the street.

It's not like in an Agatha Christie novel where one bottle will kill you. It was like that with the older drugs.

They have discontinued the use of some MH related drugs that carried a high risk. Some people will take a huge, huge dose of Paracetamol but you don't just "go to sleep" like imagined: days of pain and extreme symptoms first, for example.

Oldnproud Fri 24-Apr-26 18:40:37

BlueBelle

Well she was fit and was able why go to Dignatas she could take tablets herself lay on her own bed and go herself

From what I have read previously - in several cases, here on Gransnet - DIY overdosing is a risky business, and it is not uncommon for people to misjudge the quantity of their chosen drug that is needed, resulting in them surviving but with dreadful lasting physical repercussions to add to their mental trauma!

JenniferEccles Fri 24-Apr-26 19:17:01

Oh yes, sorry you are right UTTBB.
It wasn’t Dignitas but another clinic with less strict eligibility criteria.

BlueBelle Fri 24-Apr-26 19:23:42

Wyllow I don’t agree, you can go to two or three different pharmacies and get enough paracetamol to take your own life enough people do it every day ! That’s why the rule of only being able to buy a couple of packets is a joke, in fact you could go to the same pharmacy half an hour later !!!

It happens every day unfortunately
I wouldn’t have the guts but many, many do unfortunately

rafichagran Fri 24-Apr-26 19:57:45

Poor woman. It was her only son and she could not see a way out. I can't say she was wrong because she felt so utterly wretched, bereft, and saw no light at the end if the tunnell.

Wyllow3 Fri 24-Apr-26 19:59:09

Of course you can buy enough paracetamol. What I was saying is that it’s not a peaceful painless death like going to sleep.
It results in the failure of key organs and it’s long, slow and painful.
Or as above leaves the person taking it with severe body malfunctions.

Psychiatrists have been factoring this in for a long time, ie withdrawal of drugs the can easily allow a person to take their own life. And non psychiatric drugs that can be life threatening are not given out in big chunks.

Harris27 Fri 24-Apr-26 20:12:04

Threes sons of my own poor woman she must have been devastated.