What is our role as older people?

Why , as older people, do we have to have a "role" at all ? Horrible word "role" in current usage now seems to refer to what we used to call, simply, "a job". What happened to our "Golden Years" and laying down the burdens of work and worry and striving after a lifetime of all of the above ? People of all ages work out what makes them happy and work towards it. Older people should be no different. Altruistic deeds may make them happy. They may not.Each to their own. Incidentally I don't notice anyone knocking themselves out to take responsibility for me now that I am nearly 75. I neither want it nor need it but the occasional offer would be nice.

Tuliptree

Luckygirl3

I think many of these replies depend on the level of physical ability that people have. There are many who have serious limitations to the things that they might wish to do.

This. I think it’s very easy to take physical health and mobility for granted when neither is a problem or impacts on everyday life. Many doors are (literally and metaphorically) closed in such circumstances. The other things it’s easy to take for granted are still having your partner, having your children/grandchildren close by and not having financial worries.

I agree.

I fell wanted by my family and always have done . I was widowed 19 years ago and have lived with my DD and her family for the past 15 years . We get on great and I have my own en suit bathroom and bedroom . I also have my own living room which can be changed into a ground floor bedroom if I become to disabled to get up the stairs . We joke that my house proud DD wouldn’t have an ugly stairlift installed 😂.
My DS1 lives nearby and I’m very much involved with his family giving some care for my autistic granddaughter.
My DS2 and his partner visit regularly . I love all my children and know I’m very lucky to be cared for by them . I’m sorry not everyone has the same experience with their family.

I’m 86, have very limited mobility and live 200 miles from my children and grandchildren. However, I am perfectly happy and because I live in a retirement flat with help available I don’t think I am a burden to my family.

I suppose I miss going to the theatre and concerts, but I am lucky in that I saw many great performers and have such wonderful memories. Luckily my mind is very active still, so I am never bored.

I don’t have a ‘role’ anymore, and after bringing up my boys single-handed (I was widowed young) I am grateful not to have any responsibilities! I see my family regularly, we all get on well, and I enjoy life.

I love my daughters ,am proud of them too. I am happy living my life ,they are busy and happy in theirs.My 15yr.old granddaughter quite often pops over for a chat,which is lovely.We laugh a lot .My daughters rang today to see if I was coping with the heat.How lovely.I have my interests and hobbies but I know my family is there should I need them.

I do understand what you are saying Luckgirl3, and share your frustration. My life has been much restricted this year due to chronic worsening medical conditions. However, I understand (but it’s hard to accept) that this is just another stage in later life, and which some will not have to cope with, because they die prematurely, or maintain good health until they die.

I think many of us spend so much of our lives being productive either or at work or in our private lives, and the transition to a more passive role can be difficult.

I am trying to be philosophical, not grieving for the life I had, but doing my best with what I have, and can do, which you also appear to be doing. I am different to you is that I do not always hide how I feel from others. It helps to have a few close friends to share and be honest with, and I try to give more time to them, Family live a distance away and I have not played a major caring role in their lives.

I realise that living alone, and also in poor health is an extra burden which I do not have….yet, but something that many experience, or will in the future.
On the positive side there is still much joy to be found in life, in other people and perhaps in more simple and creative ways, and it seems that you enjoy what you do. I send you best wishes.
You are not alone.

Thisismyname what a lovely post. I’m just about to embark on a similar adventure although at much later age than you must have been. Have you any dos and donts to make it a success as yours clearly has been?

Last January I had a health scare that resulted in my ability to get year long Cruise or Worldwide Travel Insurance being curtailed. It gave me something to think about. Its what I want to do. Travel. Cruise. I'm hoping to get that ability back sometime in 2027. I have a cruise booked that I booked before my health scare so I really want to get cover even for a one off regardless of price. If I cant then I'll explore the UK a bit more. Plus try for Europe there's still a lot left I haven't seen. I try to keep active but I am sometimes a little irritated by "only contacting me when they want something" from some of my family.

I believe I am a very different person now I am old. I hope that I can guide my family to respect others, to always be truthful and never to talk about a person behind their back.

Sadly the world is not perfect

Poppyjo

I believe I am a very different person now I am old. I hope that I can guide my family to respect others, to always be truthful and never to talk about a person behind their back.

Sadly the world is not perfect

Why did you not do these things when you were younger?

Most of us have been used to being needed for most of our lives. I'm no longer needed by my AC and their families, but I hope I'm providing support and friendship to others, including friends with health problems, fellow volunteers and, importantly, my own siblings, old like me.