Christmas presents..

When it gets nearer to Christmas, and I ask for ideas for presents for the grandchildren, they usually admit that they have bought far too much, and are happy to 'sell' me something, which they know the children want. It seems to work well.

So what happens if the one gift that is received is awful/wrong size/wrong colour? Then nothing more to look forward to.

Good idea Gaga1950

My son and daughter-in-law buy their children whatever they like, that's up to them. They usually ask me to buy them one present that they know they want. I usually buy them something that will stay at our house after Christmas as well so the parents don't have to store it. Also it means the toys/books are more likely to get used here as there are less things to play with than at home. I get them a little present to open at the dinner table as well, along with a poem for them to put in their "memory drawer'.

How about building memories instead of presents. We take our grandchildren and their parents to the pantomime having first met up for brunch. This is the choice of all the daughters and sons in law!

In my family we have always given one present per person to those who we would be with at Christmas - no sending of presents to others. My Dh was brought up with the rule that all children were given presents, but this stopped when they were 18 and grown up.

I don't like that rule much, as it is difficult to teach children to give presents if they are not expected to give the grown ups something, however small.

We have always tried to find something the recipient really wanted, but have tried to limit expenditure. Between adults we agree on an amount of money that is not to be exceeded for presents, but obviously, you can choose to give something cheaper if you want.

I think it is very important not to give children too much at any time. If the child is the only grandchild/ niece / nephew with lots of adults wanting to give, we tried to get them to give one big present from them all, rather than lots of things.

I told my children not to over spoil the children at Christmas/birthdays as one day in the future they might not be able to keep it up. We didn't overspend on them but they never went without. I have a set amount I spend on my grandchildren at Christmas....30 pound each and birthdays it is 20 pound.

I love that Phoenix, thankyou very much!

I love Christmas, and do like to give out pressie to family. It's only once a year and provided it's what you can afford do it. We don't do so much on birthdays just card and gift.

I was thinking of the affordability issue when I started the thread - particularly when there's a disparity among the family. Obviously this still applies to single gifts, but I do think it's more appraent when people give several gifts to the same person.

Not sure why but lots of people I know including family members give several (lovely) presents per person each Christmas whilst it takes me all my time and ingenuity to find (and afford!) one present for each person - even when I had a full time income. This seems to have become a 'thing' in the past 2 or 3 decades. I'm hoping to make stuff this year..... Hah!

I'm afraid I am one of those who over indulge at Christmas and spend way too much money on my sons and their partners and gs's but I love it. I am not happy unless everyone has a huge pile to open and I have great pleasure watching them open them.

We do secret Santa for the 12 grown ups in the family using
www.drawnames.co.uk
Makes life so much easier.

I buy one or two larger presents for DGS1 (aged 7) & lots of stocking fillers, always one or two books, no Christmas or Birthday is complete without a book or two from Nan

DGS2 (will be 7 months) will probably get clothes, a toy or two, a couple of books & stocking.

DD & her OH will get small gifts of chocolate, I select their favourites as they both like different types & money unless they request something special.

My DM (nearly 89), well the most difficult but I am going to visit soon & we will probably go shopping, I have thought of a practical present from my DD & family. Last year they bought me 2 roller blinds that I wanted + some little bits. I love spoiling people but I think a few well chosen, thoughtful presents are most appreciated.

I agree. We live in a world of plenty. One big gift from parents and smaller stocking fillers (though this definition has changed over the years) from others.
Children can be so mercenary these days. BIL told me that his step-grandson (if that is correct) waits until his younger half-sister has opened her presents (and discreetly counts them) then he opens his own, hoping that he has more - which I'm sure is the case as his own dad and stepmother also indulge him.

It's not only Christmas Day now is it, they now get 'Christmas Eve Boxes', what is that all about, don't they get enough on Christmas Day?
I opened an account for my grandchildren when they were born and have put in every month since, even though I am now retired. Hopefully by the time they reach university age they will have a bit of extra money. Because of these accounts I have always limited the amount of money I spend on them at Christmas and Birthdays. They are at an age now when they understand and love the idea they have a bank account.

My son has declared one present for his three children - normally I would buy a book, an item of clothing and a toy + some silly stuff for stockings. My wings are clipped it is his kids and he's in charge.

Our youngest g-child is 19 and at Uni.... at a recent family meal we all agreed to a "secret Santa" Christmas... everyone took a name from a pile... and promised to SECRETLY buy one pressie for that person for £50.00 ...

As we usually buy for 10 close family spending probably at least £50 each, this is a considerable difference...

So at Christmas everyone will have one pressie instead of up to 10 ...
And I'll also buy everyone tree pressies...

I'll let you know how it goes after Christmas...

I agree - I buy one large present for my adult children and GC and usually give them one small fun item each. I exchange small gifts with a few friends and send money to the younger nephews and nieces. I stopped exchanging gifts with others a while ago.

I would be overjoyed to pare Christmas down to sensible proportions, across the board. I find the whole thing very distasteful, on the whole.

Thank you Phoenix- loved it!
I remember the Christmasses of the red polo necked jumpers! DS1 bought me one for Christmas & I said how much I liked it - well you do don't you!
I got the same thing for the next 4 years with slight variations of red colours. I have no idea where he kept getting them from! I cannot wear anything touching my neck or I get so hot I can pass out but I dutifully wore them if he was coming round. I couldn't bring myself to tell him. THEN he got married & DDiL took over present buying & hooray- lovely presents. DS2 is married to a shopaholic & the things she buys me are amazing.
Thank heavens for DDiLs!!!

I always ask my daughter for GDs. I remember my son getting 2 rubix? clocks one Christmas. The idea posted by Phoenix is brilliant, I may follow that one in future.

So agree with cutting down as most kids get far too much. We always recycle loads to the “ Love in a Box” charity, my grandchildren are more than happy to donate.

I always buy socks, underpants and a bottle of spirits for my DSs . Unfortunately their choice is now designer, and very expensive alcohol. I also try to produce something personal, witty and free/cheap! The old imagination is beginning to fail on this one though!

My own close family gave up on presents years ago but DGC have huge expectations. I tend to get 'activity' presents and games that all the family can play. The disgusting and messy ones are usually most popular.

I buy bits on offer as I see them but then forget and find that one child has more as we get near to Christmas and so I have to even them out!!

I also spend hours wrapping knickers, socks T shirts, leggings, pyjamas and things to wear that they need, to make a 'pile'!! Cheap books also feature!

By the way they all spend different parts of Christmas day with me and their Dads as this is their second/third home. Also the presents also stay here as Mummies might throw them away and they trust me to keep them safe for ever! The space in my house is gradually shrinking! Never mind, thank goodness for small mercies (*paddyann*) .... nobody here likes Christmas cake!!

I seem to remember one wise GN member posting something along the lines of "something to wear, something they need, something they want, and something to read".