Gransnet forums

Christmas

Have caused an upset!

(36 Posts)
Norah Sat 16-Dec-17 14:40:31

They will be round for 5-6 hours? I'm sure with a little planning and prep in advance that's a goodly amount of time. Do dishes and major clean up next day, only sorting leftovers to chill after dinner.

merlotgran Sat 16-Dec-17 14:19:45

Looking at it from your son's point of view, you are the one who changed the arrangements which means they will have to split themselves between both sets of grandparents. It might have been better if you'd stuck to the original plan and visited them on Christmas Day then you wouldn't have had all the work/clearing up etc., which you say is stressful.

If you want to have Christmas Dinner on another day, your son and partner will still have to cook on Christmas Day which is what they were going to do in the first place.

It might have been better to leave well alone.

Sorry.

Teetime Sat 16-Dec-17 13:57:31

I would do a toned down version of the Christmas meal probably from M & S - no nibbles, no starter, one drink each if they are going to eat and run which is rude actually and be glad for a quiet afternoon.

Nandalot Sat 16-Dec-17 13:11:56

Why not cheat on Christmas Day? I do. Turkey crown and ready prepared veg. from Sainsbury’s. That way, we can do church and present opening ( with two six year olds) before lunch without feeling too stressed. I do feel a cheat when I remember my mum getting up early to put the turkey on, boiling the chestnuts in milk and peeling them painfully (my job), homemade stuffing and the rest.

Baggs Sat 16-Dec-17 12:47:02

There is no rule that says you have to cook a Christmas dinner. Tell your relatives you don't feel up to it and cook them something much more simple, preferably that you can prepare beforehand.

Actually, on second thoughts, don't tell them in advance. Just do it and explain when you bring the food to the table. Unless they are monsters of rudeness and slefish brutes, they'll accept your efforts with grace. They might even recognise that their expectations were unreasonable given your health issues this year.

Friday Sat 16-Dec-17 12:41:50

Look on the bright side. You’ll have all the fun of seeing them and then getting rid before it all goes pear-shaped with over excited and sugar fuelled children.

OK you’ll have the clearing up but then you can sit down and watch the Betty Windsor Show and wine without having to worry if you get a bit tipsy.

grannyactivist Sat 16-Dec-17 12:13:53

goldengirl I think when you've been ill it's as much the thought of it as the actual doing of it that can be exhausting, but when you were looking forward to being taken care of it's doubly hard to deal with the disappointment and the prospect of having to gear up for a busy day. flowers
I'm in a similar position where having had months of ill health my son and his wife are having us all to theirs for Christmas this year - if plans changed it would feel more onerous because I hadn't expected to have to host.

glammanana Sat 16-Dec-17 12:09:51

Good advice from Nonnie after prep I would place all veg in a steamer (cutting down on pan washing) have the meat already sliced and when pots done just plate up and serve easy -peasy and no stress,ask DS to assist in kitchen it won't do him any harm whilst you play with DGCs,flowers

Nonnie Sat 16-Dec-17 11:54:53

If you do all the prep the night before you would only have to pop in and out of the kitchen a few times. I do this and hang the vitamins once a year. After all it is only a roast dinner and the pud is already made. Anything so you can enjoy the GC.

MissAdventure Sat 16-Dec-17 11:33:40

Could you go out to eat? Its probably short notice now, as you have to start booking in July, it seems, but at least you could relax, eat, and not have to spend ages washing up.

goldengirl Sat 16-Dec-17 11:29:57

Oh dear! Why does Christmas cause problems? My son and family invited us to their house on Christmas Day which I was really looking forward to as since a teenager and except for the odd day since I've cooked Christmas dinner. Since this arrangement they've had another baby so I said to come to me to save hassle and this was agreed. Then I was told they're coming early Christmas morning and leaving by 3pm because the inlaws are visiting them. I've been through the mill healthwise these last few months and just can't face having to rush. It would also mean leaving me with all the clearing as well as preparation and I'll be stuck in the kitchen missing the children open their presents. So on the phone today I suggested we have a Christmas meal on another day. That went down like a lead balloon although DS said he understood but of course it means they will have to cook a dinner themselves. I feel guilty now but on the other hand the stress of having to have things done by a certain time etc will not do me any good. It might be an opportunity for my DG and family to come round. Neither she nor I have mentioned any arrangements yet as things are difficult there too. Have any other GNrs had this experience?