Have caused an upset!

Ah! sliced and put into gravy then thoroughly reheated.
I think Gordon R said his mother warmed the whole turkey again.

For 20 years my BIL catered for 300 on xmas day at his restaurant/ function suite. everything was cooked the day before. All the meat was sliced and put in gravy in the large oven tins and then in the fridges and then into the oven on the day.

Do be careful if you re-heat a whole turkey that it is piping hot all the way through - use a meat thermometer.

Was it Gordon Ramsay who said that his mother used to cook the turkey on Christmas Eve then re-heat it on Christmas Day and he was surprised none of them got food poisoning!

That sounds like a good solution goldengirl!

Just giving an update. DS contacted me today and suggested the family came over on New Year's Day for the whole day. I said YES!!! All is well and the children will benefit by having 2 Christmases - one with each set of grandparents. I'm so relieved - and I'm looking forward to it

Thanks Crafting. If they come - and they are still very welcome - there will be 9 of us which makes a good party. It was fun last year but there weren't any time constraints and I was that bit fitter!!!

goldengirl cook the turkey and stuffing the night befor (or whatever you are having) and re-heat on the day. Prepare all the veg the night before and buy a microwave or cold pudding. Whatever you do try and relax and enjoy the company as it sounds as though the young ones are trying to fit in time with all the grandparents and to please everyone. Hope you have a good Christmas.

Thank you all so much for your positive ideas. I only learned today that the family instead of coming late morning as originally planned were coming early in the morning which was worrying me as it takes me a while to get going. They were then leaving around 2.30 to return home and entertain the inlaws. If they could stay a bit longer I could take my time and wouldn't have felt rushed but I appreciate they are rushing around too trying to please everyone. Hopefully it will all work out. I feel bad about it I must admit, partly I guess because I'm not on top form.

I was thinking of that very old book by Delia called 'How to Cheat at Cooking'

It’s NOT cheating to buy from M&S or any other foodie shop to provide a lovely meal for family. Why on earth should it be?

I hope you are able to find an easy, simple and happy solution goldengirl.

Re-reading the OP it seems that you have had these conversations with your DS goldengirl and that you suggested they came to you. Some men are not always good at picking up on what women mean - and some women are not good at stating how they feel.

I would keep to the arrangments and use whatever shortcuts you can, then hope to be invited to their house next year.
I presume they are rushing off because the other grandparents want to see the children too.

Am I the only one who can see this from the young family's point of view?
No you're not merlotgran

I was trying to ensure they still had the Christmas dinner they were looking forward to but ensuring that goldengirl can enjoy the time with them too without being a kitchen slave.

It's all there waiting for you on the supermarket shelves. M&S even do red cabbage read to re-heat

You can always put it into nice dishes and pretend you cooked it all from scratch if that would make you feel better.

'How to Cheat at Christmas' by Gransnetters.

I think you should make a very easy meal as suggested above and have them to your place. They have a new baby and I think this would really help them. I am sure they will understand if you take a few short cuts and just be grateful for your understanding. With small children they will be ready for dinner at 1pm. Hope you can sort it out.

Crafting if you read the original post that’s exactly what was happening but golden girl changed it I don’t really understand why or what she was expecting

If the young family have just announced their intentions of leaving early, then I think that is rude. I think Crafting's idea is a good one, because preparing a meal on your own and clearing it up on your own, whilst the consumers go off elsewhere to have fun, is not good. I've done it, and it is exhausting, and very selfish.
If this can't be arranged, then daughter-law and children can go home and entertain her parents, while son stays with his mother and helps clear up, then they can go and join daughter, in-laws etc and everyone has fun, together.

A lot can be made in advance and frozen and just defrosted the night before. I have a chronic illness and cannot cope with the stress of last minute rush and have already frozen my pigs in blankets, 2 stuffings, bread sauce and cocktail sausages. I borrowed a tip from Nigella and have frozen them all in metal disposable containers so I can put them straight into the oven (and by Boxing Day they will be at the metal recycling or in the bin depending on how I am feeling.

I saw a show called "Eat well for less Christmas" where they also made roast potatoes and veg in advance and froze them.

Good idea Crafting. With a young baby in the house it would be such a help if you just turned up with lots of ready to heat up goodies and you could all relax!

Could you suggest going to their house and helping them get Christmas dinner there. That way you don't have to rush so much and will have help with the dinner. In laws can come round later and have mince pies and cake and you can all get to spend time with the grandchildren together.

I wouldn't cook at all if I didn't feel up to it. I would find some alternative arrangements.

There were alternative arrangements in place but the OP changed them.

Am I the only one who can see this from the young family's point of view?

I'm in a similar position, we have family coming to us for Christmas dinner and I have been in poor health. I have cheated outrageously and bought the whole Christmas dinner, it is sitting in our freezer. This includes a turkey crown, pigs in blankets, stuffing, vegetables and gravy. All I have to do is remember to thaw out the turkey crown 48 hours beforehand, the rest is cooked from frozen on Christmas morning. Washing up will be minimum (someone will stack and empty the dishwasher). I've always cooked from scratch before, but don't have the energy this time.

It's being with family at Christmas that counts. It's taken roughly 43 years of being a slave to cooking a Christmas dinner for me to work this out.

I wouldn't cook at all if I didn't feel up to it. I would find some alternative arrangements.

I would prep the whole meal in advance so that you do not go near the kitchen until midday, except for breakfast and turning the oven on and just dip in and out until the last half hour, when you may need to be in the kitchen all the time.

I agree with some others....do a simpler meal on Christmas Day, say that way, they don’t have to cook a meal, and it will be easier for you , than doing a full Christmas dinner, you will all be happier that way.

I wouldn't use a pan at all if you can get away with it; normally I wouldn't use tinfoil dishes but I think under these circumstances it's fine - they can be washed without being too fussy and recycled. If you have a steamer for the veg that is good, and a microwave for gravy etc.
I usually do the Christmas pud in the slow cooker (put it on first thing) but it can be done in the microwave very quickly - or a bought dessert would be good too.

As others have said, prepare veg the night befor or buy prepped things from M&S. (other supermarkets are available!!) I found it amazing at just how much ready to cook stuff is available now.
How many are launching themselves on you? A turkey crown is smallish and idiot proof, pigs in blankets bought ready to pop in the oven likewise roast spuds. Don't faff about with Christmas pud if you don't want to... trifle or a bought dessert will be fine.
Don't worry about clearing up, cart it all into the kitchen, soak the worst pans and .... leave the washing up till next day. Who's going to see it ??
After your guests have toddled off, pour yourself a glass of your favourite after dinner something (mine's a Bailey's if you're asking), put your feet up, and enjoy the rest of the day doing exactly what you want to do.
Actually I would quite like to do that myself... I'm expected to go to DD2 for lunch, will have to spend Christmas night at hers as no-one can be expected to drive me home after several drinks . when,much as I love them all, I really would far rather it was me and the dog at home watching telly, stuffing myself with chocs, mince pies and the aforementioned Bailey's.

You have to cheat at cooking at Christmas!

Keep it simple, a turkey crown - you can buy some really good ready made sauces - even gravy - pigs in blankets, stuffing balls, frozen sprouts have been recommended on here (never tried them myself but I am assured they are good, parsnips ready done in honey and mustard, carrot batons and roast potatoes all ready in fat to pop into the oven.
Ready made pudding, buy brandy sauce and hey presto!

Let Tesco/Sainsburys/Waitrose/M&S or whoever take the strain.

Then put the foil dishes in the recycling bin.