Approaching Christmas morning with trepidation!

My OH is in that group of male Christmas shoppers who don't have a clue.

A hammock, not a pretty tied between two trees one, oh no, a vast army green canvas job with legs and guy ropes. Quote 'I know you like cloud formations so you could set it up in the garden and watch them' .honestly me, three kids and the dog could have fitted in it. I exchanged it for a garden chair but I still refer to his hammock brain when daft ideas come to him. How we have stayed together for 40 years I will never know!

My DH once bought me a pack of pants from M and S. One was a red tartan pattern!! I took them back and exchanged them! We still joke about tartan pants!!

After 40years together I can leave DH to get me something nice - he has great taste in jewellery. this year he asked me what I would like and I happily said leave it to you - something smelly and something sparkly perhaps.

My best Xmas present story is about a friend who let her much younger lover move in with her and all was well on many fronts !!! However his present buying skills were not good. he bought her a pair of granny slippers. She locked herself in the bedroom dismantled the fitted wardrobes and threw the bits out onto the front lawn.

A fossil.

I have watched and laughed but had to add to this. My DH buys lovely gifts but poor DD once admired a friends fancy toilet seat. It was duly removed and given to her for Xmas gift

I have laughed from start to finish on this thread...I don't think I was supposed to. I think Mr P is quite thoughtful so better watch your Pees and Q's, lol.

I remember my late mother-in-law who was not a frivolous person at all saying to me that's it's an absolute waste of money if you don,t buy something practical and useful as a gift. I told her that present buying and giving was a personal thing and I try to go for something fun. Every year she gave us a pair of flannelette pillowcases, and every year we would buy her something frivolous (in her eyes) ....perfume...handbag...pretty nightie..etc, she loved all the gifts and yes she used them and enjoyed them while we continued to get our flanelette pillowcases. She never did see the irony in it.

I love this thread ! It's hilarious.

I have now started writing a list in October of things I would like and then give it to DH in December so he can get me something off it - that way I don't know exactly what it is and he gets me something I want as he always used to complain he didn't know what to get despite me dropping hints for ages. And as most of them aren't expensive I usually get a few things lol

A few years I unwrapped most present from my partner with no idea what was hidden below the Christmas paper to find he had bought me a new kettle! He was soon my ex

I had a patient who refused to be discharged home. She said she was never going home to “him”. It turned out he had abused her for much of their marriage but the last straw was a birthday present of 2 kippers!! We took her point and our social worker found a lovely sheltered house for her. Result!!

Dropped numerous hints that I wanted an overlock sewing machine, the parcel looked about the right size, so imagine my disappointment when it turned out to be a bread maker! Others were a broken mantle clock, and a microwave.

When I was twelve I bought my mum a chip pan for Christmas. She was not impressed and I couldn't understand what I'd done wrong!

Sadly DH has got it spectacularly wrong on occasions, trying to be jokey (NEVER a good idea) or practical or , um, different. So I've had a left-handed
potato peeler, a chunky wooden ethnic bangle (so not me and I'd wanted classic gold) and some very naughty underwear that I opened in front of my parents and had to hurriedly conceal.
This year I've asked for a Christmassy apron, not jokey, a red cashmere scarf and some perfume - specified down to the last T in Eau de Toilette.

Top this! Christmas morning I opened my present to find a jewellery making kit. I sort of knew where he got the idea but just not my thing. Anyway I was duly grateful and put it in a cupboard knowing that he would never wonder whether I ever used it. Flash forward 18 months and as I picked up my birthday parcel I had a sense of deja vu and yes it was exactly the same jewellery making kit. He sensed by my hesitation that something was amiss so I came clean. He had absolutely no memory of the previous time he had bought it for me and so we had a good laugh and sent it back. Depending on it's size and shape, I will open this year's present with a slight sense of trepidation.

An onion hoe. However, being an avid gardener, after the initial disbelief, this has turned out to be one of the most useful presents I have ever had!

My (ex) husband once bought me a vacuum cleaner for a present. I responded by buying him a kitchen appliance for his next birthday. He never made that mistake again!

My ex once gave me a large carved wooden hand, shaped into a shallow bowl, fo fruit I'd imagine. It was utterly hideous, the fingers were all the same length so it wasn't even very lifelike! Years later as the divorce progressed oh so slowly, I dreamed that I'd cut off three of the fingers and inserted the rest somewhere the 'sun don't shine'!!!

Some great presents here!

My dad used to give my mum wonderful presents. A tyre for the car (well, she drove it too); a garden incinerator (well, she did say she wanted him to get rid of some rubbish); one knee-length boot (she had to buy the other one herself.)

This is why my husband gets told what I want as my main present during the year and then does my stocking fillers from a list of things I use etc. As it is an extensive list I don't know what I am getting each year in stocking fillers as I dont expect all or it (it would be nice though ha) he dies come up with the occasional surprise in it not listed.

He does sometimes moan I know what I am getting and he doesn't. However has I tell him he wouldn't have a clue otherwise which he admits. I am good at the present side for him arranging some quite way out lovely surprises over the years

In a previous life my OH and two cronies always did their Christmas shopping together the last working day before 'The Big Day'. We didn't tend to get together very often but one year we did just after Christmas at some do or other. The conversation went something like this...
Wife 1 - OH did well this year, managed to get my favourite perfume this year without me even asking for it.
Wife 2 - I got perfume too, but not my favourite one..
Wife 3 - Yes, me too although it's nice.
More wine.....
Wife 3 - The jigsaw looks very difficult
Wife 2 - Not started mine, saving it, love them.
Wife 1 - Hate jigsaws, why on earth did he get me one?
More wine...
I expect you can see where this is going!
Wife 1 - Ok hands up who got a new saucepan
3 hands instantly.
So it went on.... We then rounded up the offending OH's and asked what they had been doing. They all looked very sheepish and it turned out that they each asked what OH wanted, made a note so when they all went shopping each bought three of one thing, Christmas shopping done in about 10 minutes, rest of day in the pub! Job done! This had been going on for around 5 years and none of us had ever caught on. Needless to say we checked in future years and so far no duplicates!
Although we did have some very bizarre gifts, it was actually very funny.

I dropped numerous hints a few years ago about a Kindle, thinking it would be an easy thing to buy. I think I managed to hide my surprise and disappointment when I opened a stone tortoise for the garden. Bought my own Kindle later!

My husband is a star.
Strategy 1. He asks me what I'd like and if I don't know, he comes up with lots of ideas, with reasons why I'd like it, until in the end I agree to one. (That's why I'm wearing an apple watch which tells me how far I've swum.}
Strategy 2. On the other hand, if I ask for something he doesn't think I need, Strategy 1 applies.

My ex proudly wheeled a hostess trolley through the village on Christmas morning. Decorated with balloons and ribbons. He thought it would be useful for 'keeping Christmas dinner warm'.
I love him as a very dear friend but I wish his new wife very good luck!